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minervx
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30 Aug 2014, 4:09 pm

As someone who is guilty of nitpicking the smaller facets of social interactions myself, I think counting the amount of hugs you're allowed in a friend zone is way too overanalyzing.

The way I see the friendzone:

1) If you were already friends with the girl before you asked her out, you're still friends with her as usual (so long as it isn't too awkward)

2) If you weren't friends with her already, you ask her out and she says "let's be friends", she's just being polite. She doesn't actually expect you to be her friend. You two just move on and part ways.



yellowtamarin
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30 Aug 2014, 9:36 pm

minervx wrote:
As someone who is guilty of nitpicking the smaller facets of social interactions myself, I think counting the amount of hugs you're allowed in a friend zone is way too overanalyzing.

The way I see the friendzone:

1) If you were already friends with the girl before you asked her out, you're still friends with her as usual (so long as it isn't too awkward)

2) If you weren't friends with her already, you ask her out and she says "let's be friends", she's just being polite. She doesn't actually expect you to be her friend. You two just move on and part ways.

I don't necessarily agree with point 2. Sometimes a guy will ask me out fairly quickly, we haven't yet gotten to the point where I would calls us friends (maybe we spent a few hours socialising together or met once or twice briefly). I can sometimes tell at this point that I am not romantically attracted to them, but that we seem to get along quite well and I think it would be nice to keep hanging out, if he wants to. I think the way to tell is, does she say "let's be friends" then never speak to you again, or does she say "I'm having fun hanging out with you, though" and suggest/allow another catchup? In the first instance she is probably being polite, in the second instance she probably means it.

(Not that we are even supposed to be talking about this in this thread...it's just about a guy hanging out with female friends. Sorry.)