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Sweetleaf
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04 Jan 2015, 12:31 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Then how come so many ASD parents here seem to have at least one child on the spectrum? :?

Also, I am not dissing Autistic people. I just don't want to bring a child with an ASD into this world. If the child has mild Asperger's like me, it might not get the support it needs because it is not ''disabled'' enough, and has more chance of getting bullied through school, which might make it unhappy, and the last thing I want is an unhappy child who hates it's life and asks me every day why it was ever born, which breaks my heart. Yes I know NT children can be bullied but a child on the spectrum has got more chance of being bullied and having no friends through school. If the child is more moderately Autistic, it may or may not be let into a special school depending on which symptoms affect the child the most. But the aggression and outbursts are scary for me, especially with Autistic men. I used to have outbursts which involved shouting, swearing, crying and hitting myself in the head angrily, and it scared my mum. Luckily I've gone on meds and they have stopped my rage outbursts, but meds might not work for everybody.

I've known parents who have their child diagnosed with Autism, and the mum becomes very emotional like it's a bad thing. I don't think it's a bad thing, but Autism seems to affect the whole family for some reason, like it's contagious. A lot of families who I know or have heard of who have an Autistic child, the Autism seems to affect the NT children for some reason, making them into sensitive, prone-to-depression introverts, and makes the parents (especially the mother) more stressed out. My brother is NT but has turned into a very depressed, introverted adult who my mum has ended up worrying more about than me. I often blame myself for other people's emotional problems because I feel like my Asperger's has caused it over the years. And I think I will be living in guilt for the rest of my life for being a problem child through childhood, making my mum stressed and emotional. And when a child is severely Autistic, I feel like nothing's ''normal'', and that you can't enjoy a nice family outing without a chance of some massive meltdown over something even I might not be able to quite know what's going on in his or her mind, and I could still be changing nappies when the child is 10, when all I want my child to be doing is going to school, bringing a little mate home for tea sometimes, going out to play on his or her bike, all that sort of stuff. Some Autistic children are really, really unhappy inside but are unable to express it, and sometimes the parents try to do all they can to make them know they're loved but not all Autistic children like to be cuddled or talked to, etc. It just feels like having an Autistic child is like an ongoing battle, and sometimes it can make you feel so depressed when your child is unhappy and is also hard work for you and your husband when you don't quite know what to do.


But what makes you think having an NT child will prevent all that? NTs throw fits which can be just as dramatic as meltdowns, they can certainly develop mental illnesses like depression and be introverted. Also my siblings are not depressed introverts at all, perhaps you're brother was already more introverted and developed depression for reasons not really related to you. I mean even if you had an NT you might not get all the things you want, at the time intervals you want them to happen...I mean you can't really pick and choose your child unless you go adopt one then you obviously choose the one you want to adopt, and I imagine its best to be prepared for that before having one.


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Joe90
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08 Jan 2015, 11:29 am

Well, OK then, you tell me what the difference is between having NT children and Autistic children (putting other non-NT conditions aside a minute, otherwise we could go on forever), and whatever answer that gets I will use that to explain myself more clearly.


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