Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

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Ban-Dodger
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23 Apr 2015, 9:14 pm

(Apologies ahead of time if this turns out to be a double-post... I need to test if it's an error with the forums not posting my previous attempt...)

I was diagnosed with Asperger's and was also diagnosed as not having any mental-condition (apparently if you want to get diagnosed with Asperger's just keep on seeing on shrink after another until they give you said diagnosis).

I don't really have a girl-friend, not because I cannot get one, but simply because I do not bother to invest the time for one, considering that I've busied my interests with other things for which I place much higher-priority. Ultimately, I think that guys who are inexperienced with women are the least-likely to get a girl, but on the other hand, relationships are a karmic-process, too. I've done massive amounts of cybering with literally dozens and dozens (probably over 100 by now) nice girls in on-line video-games but that's largely because I know how their pleasure-sensors are triggered.

Some of them I had married in-game, one I am actually still married to in-game, but we're doing that just for fun (not going to turn into a serious real-world relationship), some of them wanted to have real-world relationships with me, but I eventually ended up losing them due to mistakingly making them think that I was having sex with other girls somewhere (three in particular of whom I kind of regret even joking about having sex with someone other than them since they were actually very nice girls of whom I could have had a family with by now but on the other hand, I also value the time I am able to have to myself, and I once talked to a married man of 40 years old, who had a 20-year-old wife, who told me that he values the time that he can have to himself, because older men would actually rather be by themselves than always have to pay attention to women, and there was also a fourth girl who was a very beautiful british blonde-haired blue-eyed teenager from Britain who was living in Kansas, whom I even talked on the phone with, but I didn't have a proper phone-device, and she tried to use SMS even though my Magic-Jack doesn't even have the capability of reading SMS, and we thus lost contact after a few days, but we did cyber with her being the one who initiated and taking off her clothes without me needing to do the leading, kind of wish I could have kept her now, considering that she was a 10 in physical-attractiveness), and there was one from a long time ago that I simply stopped contacting since that was my first experience with a potentially serious-confirmed (sort of mutually agreed) relationship since she had images on her social-pages of kissing someone so it was too painful for me to handle due to the fact that I was a 20-year-old virgin (I think I was around that age) at the time who had never even hugged a girl before in my life (not until I turned 26 but it was with a really hot girl who was 24-years-old at the time that I ended up falling in-love with for a bit for coincidental-reasons but some misunderstandings and life-circumstances interfered with our "relationship" being able to transition into that of an official boyfriend/girlfriend & eventually getting married to each other but otherwise I think we would have gotten married if I didn't just give up so easily but on the other hand I didn't have enough experience with women at that time to be able to pick up on the queues of what she really meant/wanted instead of just losing my hope with her like a loser instead of being the gentleman in proceeding to seduce her and give her the pleasures that she actually desired like a winner), and I continued to remain a virgin for what-ever-variety of reasons until I was 27, but I was also having erectile-dysfunction problems since around the age of 24, although I've been able to restore my sexual-performance, even though I no longer have uncontrollable boners that remain hard for over six hours in a row no matter how hard I try to fap at it to get it to calm down (and some of my cybering-sessions literally went on for a good five or six hours in a row, because we were that horny, and there were even times when my cum shot all the way up to reach the ceiling).

Apologies or the above wall-of-text, anyway, when I lost my virginity, I was with this married woman in her 30s (she was still quite hot though other than her loss of breasts with a look of a 9 [she had the appearance of a 19-year-old teenager]). I had sex with her every day for about a week, whilst she used her husband's money to pay for our hotel-stays, but circumstances caused us to lose each other's contact-information as well as being able to locate one-another (she really wanted to be with me permanently though and stated that the happiest she had ever been in her life was when she was with me). I used to be in-love (first one) with an Ukrainian-girl back during my mid-teen years due to all of the excessive amount of synchronous-coincidences that occurred between us but there were, I suppose I would have to call, karmic-circumstances, that we bitterly ended up going through what felt like a divorce even though we weren't even married (this is where it gets hard to explain since it felt like a kind of psychic-marriage that we had from the very time that we had met).

Anyway, I suppose I am not necessarily the "majority" of "Aspies" but on the other hand, I am certainly the non-conformist, who is generally not very interested in social-interactions (unless it's to seduce any of you fine young ladies reading this), and I know from experience that the seduction of the ladies requires a kind of layered process. Basically, for you guys who have the opportunity to hug girls, the ones who are willing to press their hips into yours are generally willing to be advanced by you if you felt like proceeding to seduce them, and if you're "lucky enough" to meet with your potential girl to potentially seduce into becoming your girl-friend, they like having the sides of their necks licked, and their ear-lobes nibbled upon gently. When cybering, I generally start my seductions with hugging, watching the reactions, then if they're not too opposed, I might continue hugging, perhaps even add some cuddling and snuggling.

The latest babe of mine sounds like she's probably from an Eastern-European nation, although we haven't done it yet, anyway, I think you guys who want girls should learn some patience, get some practice with meeting & approaching & talking to & even initiating hugs with women, and if you want to know the "order" in which you should take the "steps" into "seducing" your "would-be" potential future girl-friend (whom hopefully you'll be able to keep & have a great relationship with one another [but this is generally not something you'll be doing upon first-time-meeting... more like maybe the second or third time]), put your arms around her, then gaze into her eyes as you slowly comb your fingers through her hair repeatedly, then keep holding onto her for a while and then slowly inch your face towards hers until you start to tenderly brush your lips upon hers as you run your fingers down her hair repeatedly.

Transition into licking upon the side of her neck and nibbling gently upon her ear-lobes, perhaps for a few minutes, before proceeding onto the next step, like slowly & quietly and gently slipping your fingers beneath her blouse, but if she resists, just give her more time to get comfortable with you, sometimes some of them have to stop at this stage for the day, but the next day, she will generally be willing to let you slip your fingers up her blouse and move your hands further up her body to caress her, use the tips of your fingers to trace upon the surface of her skin, and if she tells you that her body is starting to feel hot, that is when you will cup your hands around her breasts & rub your thumbs upon her nipples in small circular-motions, otherwise you will know from enough experience when is the appropriate time to fondle her breasts.

From there, especially if she tells you that she's wet (down there), the rest of your seduction should be smooth-sailing and I think this bit of information should be enough to at least get you Aspies men started. I have a lot more things I should probably say but going to stop here for now (and I'd probably better save this post into a document-file in case it gets deleted for some reason due to its "semi-graphic" or at least "suggestive" nature). Come something else I need to tend to right now anyway...

Edit: Good, this thing posted successfully, anyway, I have an additional thing to add, that if you do in fact, want a girl-friend, and to actually keep her, you need to stay "loyal" to just her. Sure, various other women may be attractive, but you know what, the answer to having sex with lots of different attractive-looks is to get your girl to get into "cos-play" and buy her all of the wigs & accessories & tailor the costumes as necessary. That is my plan, now that I am experienced enough and ready to actually accept a girl as a girl-friend, because serious nice girls who really do want to be in a relationship, most of whom will be loyal to you if you're better at giving her sexual-pleasures than she can get from elsewhere (because, honestly, most guys are clueless as to how to maximise a woman's sexual-pleasures), and she will also want to be in an "exclusive-relationship" with you (the exception with this are those other girls who don't care about relationships who will brag to their girl-friends about how you made her cum/orgasm five times in a row before you were done with her as those types actually want to share such experiences with their friends in which case a number of her friends might approach you to experience that really great sex you can give her for themselves). Anyway, with the existence of cos-play, you can remain exclusive to having sex with only your girl, even when you find other looks highly attractive (and I assure you that she will be willing to go along with it if you're able to give her really great sex !). Phew, alright, hopefully what I've posted helps some of you guys and girls with your shyness-issues.


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sly279
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23 Apr 2015, 10:42 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
I looked up Susan Boyle and she didn't have her first boyfriend till she was in her 50s. That's pretty dang old to be in your first relationship. Never assume you're going to be forever alone because who knows? The love of your life could be around the corner. So what you didn't have a gf in your 20s or even your 30s? It could happen in your 40s or 50s when you've finally given up and you think all hope is lost.


if it don't happen pre 35k I don't want it anymore. the type of relationship I won't doesn't happen after 30s. really no point in postponing the inevitable past 35 really even 30.



qFox
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24 Apr 2015, 5:57 pm

sly279 wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
I looked up Susan Boyle and she didn't have her first boyfriend till she was in her 50s. That's pretty dang old to be in your first relationship. Never assume you're going to be forever alone because who knows? The love of your life could be around the corner. So what you didn't have a gf in your 20s or even your 30s? It could happen in your 40s or 50s when you've finally given up and you think all hope is lost.


if it don't happen pre 35k I don't want it anymore. the type of relationship I won't doesn't happen after 30s. really no point in postponing the inevitable past 35 really even 30.


This is my fear too.

Whenever I talk about it with family or with a psychologist I always get the same reply: you are still young, just wait for it and at some point you will meet someone nice. I am growing tired of waiting and missing out on an essential part of life, it is making me depressed. In older times there was still social places specifically for it ( i.e. dancing classes ) and often family or relatives would seek out partners for each other, giving men with less social skills a chance. Now we are all on our own and men with autism are screwed because every social avenue has turned into an unsafe meat market. At every twist and turn you will be mentally abused by manipulative people if you aren't wary.

I am in my mid 20s but already people in my age range are growing incompatible with me. Other people around my age have so much dating experience, social skills and expectations they pretty much steam roll over me and think I am a joke. Because of bullying and social isolation I never even had the chance to properly develop and mature socially which turns dates into complete failures. People can be extremely harsh: I once waited 45 minutes for my date to return from the toilet, she just left like that. It is painful and it makes it seem almost impossible to find women in my age range who aren't competitive daters.



Diningroom
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24 Apr 2015, 6:31 pm

Quote:
Whenever I talk about it with family or with a psychologist I always get the same reply: you are still young, just wait for it and at some point you will meet someone nice. I am growing tired of waiting and missing out on an essential part of life, it is making me depressed. In older times there was still social places specifically for it ( i.e. dancing classes ) and often family or relatives would seek out partners for each other, giving men with less social skills a chance. Now we are all on our own and men with autism are screwed because every social avenue has turned into an unsafe meat market. At every twist and turn you will be mentally abused by manipulative people if you aren't wary.


1. Dance classes still exist, ballroom ones almost always have way more girls than guys. Big cities and college towns even have clubs that do "salsa (or whatever)" nights, that include a mini-lesson before the floor opens up. Always way more girls than guys.

2. What's stopping you from asking friends/family to introduce you to single or single-again girls? surely everyone's got a single friend or two.

(My overweight, persnickety, highly-strung dad was single again at 44 and it was hot/cold running women -- like smart, pretty, accomplished, 40-50 yo women, most of whom were way out of his league. My sis and I were baffled... simply because there were SO few "datable" men, otherwise the women wouldn't be dating our dad, ie even taking into account that some men were gay, some were dating 20 yos & some were dead).

3. How do you define "manipulative" and "emotional abuse" in the context of dating?

Hint: A girl who goes on a date, a few dates or even dates you exclusively for a month/year and then elects not to see you again/continue the relationship does NOT constitute "emotional abuse". She's entitled to not want to see you again (as you are her). Relationships end in breakups or marriage or divorce.

Finally, how realistic are you about a girl's looks? Are the girls you elect to pursue approximately, empirically as attractive (or not) as you are?



sly279
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25 Apr 2015, 12:38 am

do you say the same stuff to women in similar situations?



WantToHaveALife
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25 Apr 2015, 12:33 pm

and whenever you hear of a person who is over the age of 25, still a virgin and never had a romantic relationship with the opposite sex before, it's almost always guys you hear of instead of girls.



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25 Apr 2015, 12:40 pm

Players and predators should be killed for the sake of us aspies.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Apr 2015, 12:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
do you say the same stuff to women in similar situations?


She even has no respect for her dad and mocks him here, she hates males that much.

In other term, she's saying that the only reason those women were dating him because he's tiny bit above s**t than the way most single men are in his age.

I am 100% sure that Dinningroom is KayteKate, and I am starting to think that KayteKate was in fact Tarantella - except she showed more her true colors toward males after her first ban (tarantella account).



Diningroom
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26 Apr 2015, 9:37 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sly279 wrote:
do you say the same stuff to women in similar situations?


She even has no respect for her dad and mocks him here, she hates males that much.

In other term, she's saying that the only reason those women were dating him because he's tiny bit above s**t than the way most single men are in his age.

I am 100% sure that Dinningroom is KayteKate, and I am starting to think that KayteKate was in fact Tarantella - except she showed more her true colors toward males after her first ban (tarantella account).


The point I was trying to make was that attractive, accomplished women were growing themselves at my single but sooo not a looker / pick of the litter dad (whom I adore, always have adored, and, to be fair, who was also at the time handicapped by two incredibly obnoxious preteen daughters... sis and I were pretty awful at the time)... so whatever the guys on this thread are doing wrong to be single/virgins/dateless at advanced ages is, well, sufficiently wrong to be alienating 99.9% of the females in the vicinity.

And, nope, not any of the previous usernames you've mentioned either!



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26 Apr 2015, 9:46 am

sly279 wrote:
if it don't happen pre 35k I don't want it anymore. the type of relationship I won't doesn't happen after 30s. really no point in postponing the inevitable past 35 really even 30.


haha you make it sound like you are basically dead after you hit 30. That is not true; I assure you that there is life and love after 30 :)



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26 Apr 2015, 2:23 pm

Diningroom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sly279 wrote:
do you say the same stuff to women in similar situations?


She even has no respect for her dad and mocks him here, she hates males that much.

In other term, she's saying that the only reason those women were dating him because he's tiny bit above s**t than the way most single men are in his age.

I am 100% sure that Dinningroom is KayteKate, and I am starting to think that KayteKate was in fact Tarantella - except she showed more her true colors toward males after her first ban (tarantella account).


The point I was trying to make was that attractive, accomplished women were growing themselves at my single but sooo not a looker / pick of the litter dad (whom I adore, always have adored, and, to be fair, who was also at the time handicapped by two incredibly obnoxious preteen daughters... sis and I were pretty awful at the time)... so whatever the guys on this thread are doing wrong to be single/virgins/dateless at advanced ages is, well, sufficiently wrong to be alienating 99.9% of the females in the vicinity.

And, nope, not any of the previous usernames you've mentioned either!


Yeah right - it's either you have exactly the same clone-personality and attitude type of KayteKate or wtv (and the mods told me KayteKate was in the same country of yours too - fishy) or you're simply a big liar.

Like KayteKate you're toning it down lately, but once in a way, in a wave of posts, you show your true colors and your true mistandry in particular.

- You seem to be so fixated on the same message: Adult single guys are the bottom of the barrel, the s**t of the s**t, and them never having a gf is a proof of their ultimately lowness and inferiority. In other term, you keep saying that any non-voluntary celibate adult guy = very inferior.

- You claim to represent the whole womankind of the planet, so if some guy here is zero-value in your eyes then it must be the case for all women. That's apparent in the way you ask guys things like "Why a girl should dates YOU?".

- You also assume the the involuntary celibate guys have unrealistic standards when it comes to looks (ie. the want models).

- You are quick to accuse guys of entitlement issues.

-You never seem to take autism/AS in consideration at all, after all this condition is significant social ineptness, relationships require socialization and socialization requires a hella of social abilities.

-You rarely address to female users, and when you do, you do it in a non-hostile tone, totally the opposite the way you address to males.



Guys, regardless whether Diningroom is really the viscous Kaytekate or not, I really recommend you to use the button "report" whenever you see a post of attacking/ putting down some guy here, even if you are not in agreement with the guy. Her attacks were never particular at one user but she always hit all guys, in particular single guys in her attacks, for example one time she said some like "the fact you never had a gf is the universe's way to say you are horrible" - something like that

It is time, for a bit of guys solidarity, to kick this troll out.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 26 Apr 2015, 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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26 Apr 2015, 2:31 pm

Bondkatten wrote:
sly279 wrote:
if it don't happen pre 35k I don't want it anymore. the type of relationship I won't doesn't happen after 30s. really no point in postponing the inevitable past 35 really even 30.


haha you make it sound like you are basically dead after you hit 30. That is not true; I assure you that there is life and love after 30 :)


ya I know and I believe that, but I often feel if I do start dating, having a relationship later in my life, and i'm walking out there in public with my future girlfriend, and I see all of these younger couples than me, it will be a painful reminder of what I missed out on earlier.



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26 Apr 2015, 5:49 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sly279 wrote:
do you say the same stuff to women in similar situations?


She even has no respect for her dad and mocks him here, she hates males that much.

In other term, she's saying that the only reason those women were dating him because he's tiny bit above s**t than the way most single men are in his age.

I am 100% sure that Dinningroom is KayteKate, and I am starting to think that KayteKate was in fact Tarantella - except she showed more her true colors toward males after her first ban (tarantella account).


not sure she says she has a husband. while the other two both said they had a horrible ex husband. though suppose if it was all the same person lying wouldn't be out of the pattern.



sly279
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26 Apr 2015, 5:58 pm

Bondkatten wrote:
sly279 wrote:
if it don't happen pre 35k I don't want it anymore. the type of relationship I won't doesn't happen after 30s. really no point in postponing the inevitable past 35 really even 30.


haha you make it sound like you are basically dead after you hit 30. That is not true; I assure you that there is life and love after 30 :)


well that is the plan. i think there is life for others. but not for my type of life and type of human I am.
if all one cares about is hobbies and items then yeah you can have tons of life after 30. if you want a family and love and companionship and haven't' had it then you're screwed. I am not and won't be the middle class job guy that women over 30 go for. its just reality. working as cashier and getting 20 year olds to date you is rough. trying to get 30 year olds who are in the start a family need middle class income to date you is impossible. then add in debt, no prior gfs or sex experience, ugly, fat, and later you find out he has aspergers. oh and then there's the interest in guns, mlp, videogames. so hes childish etc. while they want that grown up confident guy who makes good money. he has a nice car and his own place.

so its like a toaster who dreams of making toast but can't anymore. do you keep it around or throw it out?
you throw it out and get a toaster that can make toast. so why should i keep living when I have no future besides another 50 years of sh***y life. although social security runs dry in 2016 so I may end up dead sooner.



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26 Apr 2015, 6:27 pm

sly279 wrote:
Bondkatten wrote:
sly279 wrote:
if it don't happen pre 35k I don't want it anymore. the type of relationship I won't doesn't happen after 30s. really no point in postponing the inevitable past 35 really even 30.


haha you make it sound like you are basically dead after you hit 30. That is not true; I assure you that there is life and love after 30 :)


well that is the plan. i think there is life for others. but not for my type of life and type of human I am.
if all one cares about is hobbies and items then yeah you can have tons of life after 30. if you want a family and love and companionship and haven't' had it then you're screwed. I am not and won't be the middle class job guy that women over 30 go for. its just reality. working as cashier and getting 20 year olds to date you is rough. trying to get 30 year olds who are in the start a family need middle class income to date you is impossible. then add in debt, no prior gfs or sex experience, ugly, fat, and later you find out he has aspergers. oh and then there's the interest in guns, mlp, videogames. so hes childish etc. while they want that grown up confident guy who makes good money. he has a nice car and his own place.

so its like a toaster who dreams of making toast but can't anymore. do you keep it around or throw it out?
you throw it out and get a toaster that can make toast. so why should i keep living when I have no future besides another 50 years of sh***y life. although social security runs dry in 2016 so I may end up dead sooner.


Please please please tell someone you're feeling depressed / suicidal and get help. Help exists and if you you weren't depressed, there's an excellent chance you could find something to make your life meaningful and worth living.



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26 Apr 2015, 6:47 pm

Diningroom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Bondkatten wrote:
sly279 wrote:
if it don't happen pre 35k I don't want it anymore. the type of relationship I won't doesn't happen after 30s. really no point in postponing the inevitable past 35 really even 30.


haha you make it sound like you are basically dead after you hit 30. That is not true; I assure you that there is life and love after 30 :)


well that is the plan. i think there is life for others. but not for my type of life and type of human I am.
if all one cares about is hobbies and items then yeah you can have tons of life after 30. if you want a family and love and companionship and haven't' had it then you're screwed. I am not and won't be the middle class job guy that women over 30 go for. its just reality. working as cashier and getting 20 year olds to date you is rough. trying to get 30 year olds who are in the start a family need middle class income to date you is impossible. then add in debt, no prior gfs or sex experience, ugly, fat, and later you find out he has aspergers. oh and then there's the interest in guns, mlp, videogames. so hes childish etc. while they want that grown up confident guy who makes good money. he has a nice car and his own place.

so its like a toaster who dreams of making toast but can't anymore. do you keep it around or throw it out?
you throw it out and get a toaster that can make toast. so why should i keep living when I have no future besides another 50 years of sh***y life. although social security runs dry in 2016 so I may end up dead sooner.


Please please please tell someone you're feeling depressed / suicidal and get help. Help exists and if you you weren't depressed, there's an excellent chance you could find something to make your life meaningful and worth living.


have just about everything I want except a gf and friends. some people like me just don't' find happiness in objects and hobbies. probably 1/4 to half the world is like this. just most of people like me weren't born wrong so they find a gf and friends and never have to deal with the s**t I do. they have a gf so they aren't told to be happy without having one.

really wish people could understand this. its not wrong being different than you. besides 30 is 3 years away. by then there wont' be anyone left to care about me going missing.