Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

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My first relationship was nearly 4 years, then the one after for nearly a year (we're still really good friends). Had a few almost-relationships since then and I hooked up with a friend of mine a few times but that's all the relationship stuff I've ever had.

yes, she is finished here. Bye bye kayteekay, I hope you won't open your fifth account here.

Like what I promised to you, K.

Hey, I just came across a good explanation of why you people who are products of the American "education" system have trouble talking with females, and in fact, even talking to anybody at all. Listen to this...

I joined in this discussion late, but I can tell you it can happen. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. I am just a psychological mess in general. Besides Asperger's, I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, have abandonment and attachment issues due to circumstances surrounding my adoption, more attachment issues due to abuse I suffered as a child-in others words, lot's wrong with me.

I never had a real girlfriend until I was 29. A couple of short term sexual flings before that with girls I didn't really find attractive, so I didn't try to make those relationships work at all. Not even sure how I got in them, to be honest. By the time I was 21 or so I was too scared to ask any females out because I knew they would reject me. I wanted a relationship in the worst way but all I could do was drink, smoke pot, and go to class occasionally. The girls I was in graduate school with wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. Even attempted suicide once over it.

Around age 28 or so things started to change, not sure why. I did get sober off of drugs and alcohol and get in better physical shape when I was 26, but it still took 2 years after that to see any benefits. I don't know if some maturation process kicked in or what, but at 29 I had a serious relationship for 18 months, a brief messed up one after that (the woman had health issues and died a couple of years after it ended), and finally met my wife when I was 31.

Been married for 15 years now and I still can't believe at times that someone like my wife actually likes me. I had concluded years before that I was unlovable. I had concluded that I must be the most unattractive person on the planet because all women seemed to treat me that way. A few who were taken would act nice to me because I was friends with they boyfriend, but it seemed like everything was against me. Suddenly that all changed, to this day I really don't know why. This was before the internet and computer dating also. My point is, one is never hopeless. Work on what you can-like social skills physical appearance, etc and never give up hope.

As a guy I hate being judged, valued on my job, occupation, career, finances, stability, income, so damn much

I was fortunate enough to have one good, healthy long-term relationship for eight years. We broke up prior to my diagnosis, and remain good friends. We've both moved to different parts of the country, and when I told her of my diagnosis, she pretty much had the same experience that I did: everything fell into place. All the things she didn't understand that contributed to our break up, e.g. the things I did and/or said, and more so the things I didn't do and/or say, suddenly made sense.

Every other relationship, including the one I'm in now, however, has been a soul-sucking cycle of abusive, manipulative women from whom I struggle to walk away, not because I am afraid to be alone, but because of the way I experience empathy.

Men with AS have a lot to offer... to the right woman. There is a woman I know now who pegged me as being on the spectrum before I even considered it, speaks to me with understanding without treating me like I'm "special needs" or like she deserves a medal for being my friend, and is totally comfortable with the fact that I lack conversational skills. If things were different, I might consider trying to date her.... with the following caveat:

I read in a book (Asperger's in Love by Maxine Aston) that men with AS base their attraction to someone based on the other person's attraction to him. I don't know if there is any real validity to this as I only understand the dynamics of human pair binding from a clinical standpoint and even then it really doesn't make much sense to me. Since then, I don't trust my ability to choose a mate and don't really see myself dating once I finally get out of my current relationship. I am truly happiest when I am alone, I think one of the reasons my eight year relationship lasted to long and strong was the fact that we never lived together. We had our space, and from that relationship relative to all others, I have found that I like having someone special (one person) with whom to share my life. I like the idea of a long-term committed relationship based on mutual trust, attraction, respect, and the notion of two people nurturing something that is greater than the sum of the parts. I even like the idea of being a father again some day. I just need my space. There is my time and our time. If someone can respect that, I give my "love future" better odds.