Mother talks about killing her autistic daughter and herself
There are two groups of people on this board – those who come to share their experiences, which can be very painful, and those who come to abuse and victimize others. You belong to the latter bucket and it stinks. You are right, there is never any excuse to abuse others, but you just did it.
Perhaps English is not your first language, but I have never attempted to justify abuse in any way. We have had numerous exchanges so you ought to know that my interest here is to point out to people that autistic children are vulnerable to abuse and that the people most likely to abuse them are their caretakers. There have already been numerous individuals on this board who have stepped forward to recount their childhood trauma. Having an autistic child in the family does create a great deal of strain for every family member and not everyone deals with it in the right way.
Until you learn some manners, this is the last time I will respond to you.
To Alex: shame on you for not taking action when others engage in such open bullying.
This is a true statement - "autistic children are vulnerable to abuse and that the people most likely to abuse them are their caretakers" and this is a true statement - "Having an autistic child in the family does create a great deal of strain for every family member and not everyone deals with it in the right way." That is not the same as saying "anyone would react to having an autistic child" or "turn against or take out their frustation at an autistic child is just natural." If pointing that out to you made you realize you need to rephrase those statements, that's fine. If you see the difference yourself and just inadvertantly misworded your observations, that is fine as well. I object to justification of that action (even if was implied by mistake) because it creates victims and allows abusers to continue. If that is not your intent, just be careful of such words as "anyone" and "natural" because that is what they imply and if you look back over the responses to your posts you will see that happening time and again. Those people are not picking on you so much as your choice of words and the same goes for me.
12 kids to a teacher is that bad? I don't know what private tutor she had growing up, but 12 to a teacher is not a bad class size! A lot of classes are up to 30 kids. Complaining about a class size of 12 would be like if she complained about how she is so poor she can only afford to drive a camry. Well sure it would be nice to afford a bmw but to complain because you can't is ridiculous.
12 kids to a teacher is that bad? I don't know what private tutor she had growing up, but 12 to a teacher is not a bad class size! A lot of classes are up to 30 kids. Complaining about a class size of 12 would be like if she complained about how she is so poor she can only afford to drive a camry. Well sure it would be nice to afford a bmw but to complain because you can't is ridiculous.
That's why I thought it was a bizarre justification for those kinds of thoughts. Compared to what they complain about in a normal class, 12 kids didn't seem that tragic and certainly she had options. When I saw the entire video it made even less sense to me.
At first I thought it was her recalling a time when she felt overwhelming, but that convinced me it wasn't. Just made it even more strange to me.
Why didn't she consider just killing herself if she's so freakin' miserable and leaveJodie alone? Why take her with her? I don't understand that part. Is she implying that Jodie is somehow miserable and would want to die?
_________________
Father of twin, HF autistic daughters (four years old) and a six year old son.
She was talking about her 'NT' daughter, not her autistic one.
12 kids to a teacher is that bad? I don't know what private tutor she had growing up, but 12 to a teacher is not a bad class size! A lot of classes are up to 30 kids. Complaining about a class size of 12 would be like if she complained about how she is so poor she can only afford to drive a camry. Well sure it would be nice to afford a bmw but to complain because you can't is ridiculous.
That's why I thought it was a bizarre justification for those kinds of thoughts. Compared to what they complain about in a normal class, 12 kids didn't seem that tragic and certainly she had options. When I saw the entire video it made even less sense to me.
At first I thought it was her recalling a time when she felt overwhelming, but that convinced me it wasn't. Just made it even more strange to me.
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snowcone
She was talking about her 'NT' daughter, not her autistic one.
Mish? Did you think she wanted to kill the normal daughter? Go back and rewatch. She wants to kill her Autistic daughter but she doesn't because of the normal daughter. Maybe I'm misreading what you wrote.
GoatOnFire
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Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,986
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts
You spend a great deal of time picking on what others say but say nothing yourself. Who on earth appointed you god? If just those few words are snipped out, it sounds like I am justifying abuse. But sneakily quoting people out of context does not justify the maltreatment you heap on others. It appears that after flying into mindless rage numerous times you have decided to agree with me. In case you do not get it, I am trying to make general observations on a topic whose general state of affairs is unknown and to do so I made appeals to the reader’s intuitive understanding of what it might mean to have an autistic child in the family. It really amazes me that you took it to mean that I was justifying abuse and it angers me that you told me that I needed therapy to correct my perversions. Even if you wanted to mount a vitriolic attack on someone else, you should understand what they are saying before doing so.
they didn't mean any harm.
i myself was bullied, ridiculed, and made to feel less than human. my own sister tormented me to no end and still finds it humorous that i rocked back and forth (still do but not as pronounced), pretended to be the family dog (which we did not have, but it felt so comfortable to not pretend to be human) and always made fun of me. my father wanted nothing to do with me; he may have been afraid or ashamed of me...i don't know, but i have finally learned to forgive the abusers which has benefited me highly. grudges, hatred, self cherishing takes its toll. it is a necessary part of life. the more sincere and honest we are with ourselves, the stronger we become as a whole being and nothing can shake us when we learn to forgive.
peace
i myself was bullied, ridiculed, and made to feel less than human. my own sister tormented me to no end and still finds it humorous that i rocked back and forth (still do but not as pronounced), pretended to be the family dog (which we did not have, but it felt so comfortable to not pretend to be human) and always made fun of me. my father wanted nothing to do with me; he may have been afraid or ashamed of me...i don't know, but i have finally learned to forgive the abusers which has benefited me highly. grudges, hatred, self cherishing takes its toll. it is a necessary part of life. the more sincere and honest we are with ourselves, the stronger we become as a whole being and nothing can shake us when we learn to forgive.
peace
Forgiveness brings out the divinity in Man and if you can do so, your actions are a beacon that lights up our world. But as we stand, men and women who have come through, in one way or another, should we look the other way as autistic children go through what we have so painfully experienced? Do we say to them that it is their lot in life to be bullied, harassed and humiliated? Who amongst you have the heart to tell a six year old to turn the other cheek?
All that I am advocating is awareness. The abuse of autistic children by their caretakers is probably the most painful issue that the autism movement has to confront. Unlike the made for media depictions of autism and genius or that heart warming cry for the acceptance of diversity, the abuse of autistic children is dark and it casts in a negative light parents and teachers who are already stretched too thin. The intuitive feel is that it is wrong to blame anyone; it certainly seems wrong to blame individuals who have dedicated their lives to the care of autistic people. And perhaps at a deeper level, we opt to blame the autistic child because it is seen as tantrums and misbehavior.
Perhaps by speaking more openly about it, through our testimony, we can show others who now care for autistic children the sort of pain that their actions can inflict. It is just talk, but at least it is something.
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