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LupaLuna
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20 Sep 2014, 3:56 pm

I, my self have no desire to want to be NT but I feel that I have to be NT in order to survive. Because of my aspergers. I can't get a job, I have few (if any) friends and I am not married. Living your whole life like and alien who crashed landed and got marooned on earth and trying to adapt to the lifestyles of the indigenous species starts to take it toll on you as a person. Especially when you are meant with one failure after another.



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23 Sep 2014, 1:02 pm

I have never felt normal, but it never bothered me. I never tried to be like anyone else as a child. If anyone tried to make fun of me in school, I simply looked at them and thought they were stupid for finding such childish things funny (even though they and I were children, I saw "childish" as "stupid"). I don't recall a time when I ever took verbal bullying to heart.

As an adult though I did try my best to be "normal" because I realised that it was the only way to get anything in life and to fit in. It wasn't due to an inferiority complex or because I wanted to be that way - I just felt that it was the most practical way to move forward in life. I think I'm good at coming off as normal at first, but as time goes by people have the sense that there is something "wrong" with me and relationships fizzle fast after they started. However, the level of "normal" that I achieved is about enough to get me through job interviews and such. I am in no way interested in forming friendships with people who aren't interested in me as I am.



nyxjord
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23 Sep 2014, 2:47 pm

When I was younger, I never could figure out why my peers almost always rejected me. Now I realize that my actions were not the same as theirs. Now that I am in my 20's (and attending college with students much younger than myself), I am fitting in much better. However, I have not wanted to "be normal" or whatever since I was in high school. Now, I don't seek to be in the popular crowd. I am nice to everyone and if people want to hang with me, then that's cool. I guess I would be considered an acquaintance to most of the people in my life. I still can't figure out how to get past that barrier and "connect" with people on topics not skin deep, but oh well.


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EzraS
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23 Sep 2014, 4:26 pm

I think there are aspies that fantasize about being an NT stereotype....someone who's a huge success socially and financially etc. A "winner". Probably not many aspies want to be a lot of the NT's I know online who have a very difficult time struggling with life.



kirayng
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23 Sep 2014, 6:34 pm

I don't want to fit in. I think like everyone else I want who I am to be appreciated, without the fronts and acts people expect.



CockneyRebel
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24 Sep 2014, 12:29 am

I'm the opposite. I like to cherish and celebrate my differences. My AS is what makes me unique. I wouldn't give that up for the world.


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Lumi
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24 Sep 2014, 12:43 am

I don't think of it.


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Jensen
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24 Sep 2014, 12:56 pm

ProfessorJohn wrote:
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be like everyone else, to fit in, to be normal. Never really was able to, and I obsessed over it a lot-how I was different than others, how could I get the things I need to fit it. Today I probably appear pretty normal on the outside (employed for a long time, married) but I still obsess over how my past was not normal (hardly any romantic relationships, couldn't get a job in high school). Is it normal for Asperger's individuals to obsess over how they are different than others? It seems now my obsessions are over how my past was different than everyone elses's past.

Yeah.
Until I was 15, I obsessed about not fitting in. After 15, I made it a virtue being different.
(Not that it was great fun).
Now I obsess over my past like you, but some day it will pass, I´m sure.


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LyraLuthTinu
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31 Jan 2015, 6:58 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't want to be 'normal' never really recall wanting that per say, just wanted less being treated like crap for not being 'normal'.


This. NT normal is fakey, hypocrisy, shallow and an act to get what you want in my eyes.

I might be blunt and even inconsiderate at times, but it's the real me. Not some mask that I've put on or act to impress you or game to manipulate you into doing what I want.

I'd like to be treated the way I'm trying to be: like a good person who just wants to do what's right and express truth from my own unique perspective.

Why that comes across as threatening, controlling and disrespectful I simply do not understand. I try to give other people the benefit of the doubt, and assume that they are speaking truth and trying to do the right thing. I get very confused and often hurt when I find out that they were lying to take advantage of people or making up cr@p to get ahead or acting in a certain way to manipulate me or others into serving their interests. Why can't people just tell the truth and be kind to one another?


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support


nick007
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01 Feb 2015, 3:25 am

I never really wanted to be normal & never wanted to fit in. I mostly wanted to be left alone instead.


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