does your family treat you like a child

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sharkattack
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28 Sep 2014, 3:33 pm

I am 40 and I get no respect from my family they all feel free to correct and tease me.

If I do the same back suddenly people are offended and stick up for each other.

When I do something it is rude when it is done on me it is me who can not take a joke.


Following this site and learning about social rules is hard sometimes my emotions take over.



Charloz
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28 Sep 2014, 3:41 pm

No they do not ever treat me like a child. My elderly grandparents sometimes do, but I see them treating my siblings and even my parents and aunts in much the same way so I am cool with it. Everyone who knows me respects me enough not to talk down to me. If your family treats you like a child and mocks you, that means they clearly do not respect you and you need to confront them about that behavior. It's especially bad if they do it in front of others from outside the family, if they do that it definitely needs to stop ASAP.

Good luck.


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sharkattack
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28 Sep 2014, 3:43 pm

Thanks I am going to have to grow a backbone.



Charloz
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28 Sep 2014, 3:59 pm

sharkattack wrote:
Thanks I am going to have to grow a backbone.


Yes. You need to be clear with them that you do not tolerate that type of behavior and that it is insulting for you. I wish you good luck on getting your point across and I hope they will listen to you and understand it. If they love you (and I am sure they do, as they are your family) then they will understand and respect you.


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JSBACHlover
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28 Sep 2014, 4:03 pm

They used to treat me like a child because I would smile a lot and let my guard down and say whatever came to my mind. I would not let them know what I wanted to do, but I would defer to whatever they wanted.

Now (I learned this in the past year - I'm 45) I don't smile much (I practice by pressing my hands against the muscles around my mouth), don't say much except things that have some meaning, I tell them what I want to do and do it. The result is they don't treat me like a child.

I didn't tell them not to treat me as a child by speaking words to them. I told them by my actions. This latter kind of "telling" is more meaningful to NTs.

It's a win-win, since now my family claims I'm more pleasant to be around. Give it a try.


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Swiper
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28 Sep 2014, 7:35 pm

I'm the Alpha in my family. Last time I was home, I had to put my father in his place because he was acting childish.



Oren
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28 Sep 2014, 7:45 pm

I'm sad to say this happens to me often.

I just can't seem to get all the social cues right.


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