Why do Women do this on Dating Sites?

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What, that they show basic courtesy and respect? If I heard anyone talking like that on the street I would avoid them and so would most normal guys (and girls). I know if I wrote my profile like that I would NEVER get any replies and rightfully so.


I really don't want to discuss my private life but let's just say that when you are in a serious relationship with a textbook BPD individual (meets 9 of 9 DSM IV criteria), you learn some survival mechanisms to spot it in the future and get quite good at it. My Ex almost ruined my life, almost got me arrested and evicted (thankfully the cops were very understanding and believed me) and I ended up with a mental breakdown because of her crazy behaviour. Maybe this OKCupid girl does, maybe she doesn't (and I am NOT trying to play armchair Psychologist even though it was a special interest at one point) but I am erring on the side of caution. Next time I won't be so lucky! I know from my experience and the experience of others that most Borderlines are downright dangerous to be in a relationship with even though it's not always their fault.

Free dating sites (especially POF) are loaded with Cluster Bs, particularly Narcissists: I just didn't learn until recently what it was called. Again, I have a number of textbook narcissistic relatives and they all play from the same script just like Borderlines. Doesn't matter in this case because she flaked but if I were a betting man, I would say she has undiagnosed BPD. I have nothing further to say on this matter because it is irrelevant at this point: I am officially done with free online dating.


I was laughed at because I was 18 years old before I was licensed and I have to admit, I am shocked to find out there are a number of adults who willingly don't drive. I honestly didn't know anyone who didn't drive at 16 other than me (who wasn't dirt poor that is). Turns out she has a license and is paying off student loans. I flat out told her I was a chauffeur in my past relationships and lack of a license (not a car) is a deal breaker except in extreme circumstances like disability. I DO love to drive but I am sick and tired of having to drive everyone around because they are too lazy to get a license themselves. Yes, cars are expensive but it's an expense most adults have to take on in order to make a decent living unfortunately.


Good points but I am easy to get along with, am VERY protective and can border on being clingy too. I suppose I didn't explain myself properly: I would prefer someone with character FAR more than someone well off but I am at the stage of my life where I am sick and tired of being the 'caretaker' or rescuer and want someone who is my equal. Someone called me "entitled" because of this but that's no more than saying I am entitled to my paycheck because I worked for it. You would not be a good catch for me because of that but that doesn't mean you are a bad catch in general.

Am I a bit bitter from dating someone who never worked, never tried to get a license, failed College on 5 different occasions (now 6) and kept whining, making excuses and blaming others instead of trying or seeking help? You bet! As a result, I am unable to accept those (lack of) qualities in a partner. Sorry, but that's the trademark Aspie truth. For the record, this date went surprisingly well but doubt she will become anything more than a friend because financial stability is important to me. I do not want to have my good money habits and credit ruined. I've already seen too many lives ruined by bad relationships and want to learn from my mistakes as well as the mistakes of others.

GHF, I see nothing wrong with your interpretation.

That woman is crazy through and through.

You people saying "she got too many dick pics/lewd messages/etc. sent to her" need to realize something. If, like some of you guys say, this happens to "every" woman, then why don't all these women have similar vitriolic statements on THEIR profiles? Hmm? Care to answer that one?

It's more likely that this lady got one picture of a dick and decided to lump all guys together.

Why would someone write a profile like that? Is that really going to motivate a high quality male such as myself to message her? What is she thinking? Can you say "bitter?"

I did not read all 11 pages of this but just going from your first entry:

Please do not contact her! It is more than obvious that that poor girl absolutely doesn't need someone like you contacting her telling her what a catch you are! Jeez! Can you say "jerk"?

if a guy does what this woman did we are told it's off putting, offensive and too negative. we are told to change/ remove the rant type things. yet a woman does it and its defended and if a guy finds it off putting we are told we lack respect for women o.O

I find it off putting. guarantee most women on dating sites get the same stuff she did, the difference they don't turn their profile into a rant, they block the messages and continue on. do most list they aren't looking for one night stands yeah, but that's more of what relationship they are wanting. if you don't think it should work both for men and women then you are basically saying women can afford to do it and guys can't.

also yeah hockey I don't get it either but i predicted it. if you show confidence you are an as*hole if you don't then you are a unattractive. seems there's no winning.
also i take your post to mean that I am a loser?

GHF, I see nothing wrong with your interpretation.

That woman is crazy through and through.

You people saying "she got too many dick pics/lewd messages/etc. sent to her" need to realize something. If, like some of you guys say, this happens to "every" woman, then why don't all these women have similar vitriolic statements on THEIR profiles? Hmm? Care to answer that one?

It's more likely that this lady got one picture of a dick and decided to lump all guys together.

Arrogance is saying you are more capable and worthwhile than other people. (comparative)

Confidence is saying you are a capable, worthwhile person. (not comparative)
Arrogance is saying you are more capable and worthwhile than other people. (comparative)
When you call yourself "high-quality", that's a comparative statement, and is therefore interpreted as arrogance.

Also, the term "high-quality" is not appropriate for describing a person, even oneself. It is a term for objects. Using it in the context of discussing dating relationships is particularly vulgar, as it suggests you view yourself as an animal available for stud service.


(I don't mean any of this to offend; I'm genuinely trying to help you out here.)

sly279, you are in NO WAY a loser, and you oftentimes have some pretty wise posts, this being one of them. Stay strong, you hear? Don't become miserly like me. Stay pure and find some way to get your glasses fogged up.

............

The fact that everyone's thresholds and reactions to unpleasantness are not the same, nor are their life circumstances which might be making them less able to just shrug it off.

Something something, lumping everyone together...

People here pretty much read what they want to read, though. If they get flack for the way they talk about others, they complain about how they're not allowed to vent or be confident. I don't care whether or not men in this section think they're the best thing to ever happen to women or just an average guy, my criticisms here are of people who are nasty in their attitudes towards others but think everyone should be kind to their own flaws.

As far as I'm concerned, you can think you're Jesus Christ himself as long as you don't sneer or denigrate others because someone had a frustrated outburst in their dating profile or uses chatspeak.

As many times as I've been denigrated (hint: many times more than most people on this forum, I can guarantee that), I'm allowed to denigrate others for their blatant stupidity. If you type in "chatspeak" when people like me actually make an effort to construct a well-written sentence, then that is willful ignorance. The only excuse would be dyslexia, but dyslexia isn't that common.

This woman deserves what mockery she gets, because it's stupid to delete an ENTIRE DAMN PROFILE and fill it with terribly-worded demands of what you don't want. It will scare the decent guys away and, guess what? She'll still get messages from as*holes. They see it as a challenge. It's just like when women wear wedding rings to keep creeps from hitting on them. Sounds good in practice, but the creeps will still hit on them, and any guy who is at least halfway decent will avoid trying to ask them out or advance past the friendship stage. It's counterproductive. Hell, GHF ran for the hills when he saw her profile. That's gonna be the reaction that she gets from now on.

On top of that, she reinforced the old stereotype about women being hard to deal with. But you don't see anybody else addressing that little elephant in the room, do you?

Oh, one more thing. I AM Jesus Christ himself. So, thank you for pointing that fact out. \

EDIT: blunnet said it pretty well, and in a shorter manner.