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BeggingTurtle
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03 Oct 2014, 11:57 pm

I know I shouldn't be doing it.

I take my pocket knife, and slowly saw into my wrist until it bleeds. Both wrists have marks on them now and I keep doing it every day. It's been this way since I broke up with my girlfriend. I want to to stop, but I need solutions for it first.


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Princessdracula
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04 Oct 2014, 12:36 am

I did that for like 10 years on/off I never sought out help or anything and sort of stopped on my own :(



cberg
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04 Oct 2014, 1:53 am

As I understand it, the pathology of this is simpler than one might think. Pain reminds the sufferer that they're still alive; I've never self-harmed in such a degree but I've had transcendental experiences through various painful accidents in my time. That said, knives are not a natural part of human experience - bringing extraneous sources of pain upon oneself falls outside the limits of your physiology and the stimuli building your psyche. Try talking some risks you find yourself learning from - and perhaps dream up tattoo sleeves!


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IAmTheCatalyst
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04 Oct 2014, 2:17 am

I cut as well, although I can't really help you stop as I myself don't plan on it. It's my body and I don't really care if people judge me for what I do with it. I've done it since I was 13. It used to be something I did as a meltdown started to die down, to try and slow my thoughts by concentrating on the pain, as well as to remind myself that I was alive. Now I do it because it's a habit, I like the pain because it makes me feel alive (as I said already), and I sign my paintings in blood as well. Good luck quitting though. I hope you find a way to do so.


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cberg
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04 Oct 2014, 2:43 am

IAmTheCatalyst wrote:
I cut as well, although I can't really help you stop as I myself don't plan on it. It's my body and I don't really care if people judge me for what I do with it. I've done it since I was 13. It used to be something I did as a meltdown started to die down, to try and slow my thoughts by concentrating on the pain, as well as to remind myself that I was alive. Now I do it because it's a habit, I like the pain because it makes me feel alive (as I said already), and I sign my paintings in blood as well. Good luck quitting though. I hope you find a way to do so.


Feeling alive is good and while I have the utmost respect for anyone with a grasp of personal sovreignty, I believe I should point out that we're discussing the body in the context of our species. We're known to have high pain thresholds out here on our spectrum, I'd just like to see everyone here live long enough to perhaps meet all of you in reality. Case in point, this is why I've been meaning to give accupuncture a try.


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IAmTheCatalyst
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04 Oct 2014, 3:27 am

cberg wrote:
Feeling alive is good and while I have the utmost respect for anyone with a grasp of personal sovreignty, I believe I should point out that we're discussing the body in the context of our species. We're known to have high pain thresholds out here on our spectrum, I'd just like to see everyone here live long enough to perhaps meet all of you in reality. Case in point, this is why I've been meaning to give accupuncture a try.


Thanks for the concern. I'm very clean with it and sterilize everything. I'm also up to date on all of my shots. Acupuncture sounds interesting. I also have piercings and plan on getting tattoos.


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bungleton
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04 Oct 2014, 5:28 am

Huh. Didn't realise this was a thing among Aspies.

When I was 15-16 I used to do that. I think it had to do with bridging the gap between my mind and the outside world. I have resisted an incredibly strong urge to return to that behaviour in the last couple of weeks. As in, lying in bed knowing that I have fresh blades in the studio... The only thing that has stopped me is the fear of going too far and the knowledge that I'd open it up again and start bleeding whilst at the gym or doing yoga. Don't really want to have to explain that to anyone.

Personally my own self-harm in that regard stopped when I was about 17... But by that stage I was engaging in regular poly-substance abuse.

To everyone who's currently doing it... I hate to be that guy... But have you got a counsellor or someone you can talk to about the behaviour? I understand the release but I now understand my friends' reaction when she saw the scabs and started crying all those years ago. It's strange, I never gave a s**t when I was doing it to myself but reading of others... Well, I'd rather you didn't. It makes me nervous that you might cause yourself serious injury.


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LokiofSassgard
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04 Oct 2014, 7:06 am

I used to cut myself with a tack. :/ It wasn't enough to fully puncture the skin, but it provided me with enough relief though. I stopped after I got more into my music though, especially Simple Plan. This band has really helped me a lot.


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Joe90
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04 Oct 2014, 7:26 am

I've never had the guts to do anything like that, even though I have been very depressed in the past and was thinking about suicide. I sometimes pick the skin off the edge of my thumbnails, but not until it bleeds, just until the skin goes hard. Also I bite my lips and make them bleed, because I get this nerve in a certain place that ''wants'' me to hurt. But I don't do anything too harmful.


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04 Oct 2014, 7:38 am

To second bungleton, do you think you could talk to someone to try to work through what's making you need to cut, and if you can do that, try to help you stop or find alternatives?

I've been self-harming for most of my life. Hitting and scratching etc. for as long as I can remember, cutting since I was around twelve, burning since about fourteen. Quite recently I managed to stop cutting for about a year, burning for a while longer, but couldn't keep it up and started again a few months ago. I find self-harm addictive, it's hard to stop.


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Zajie
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04 Oct 2014, 7:57 am

I sometimes felt like cutting but I never did I always stopped myself I didn't want to harm my body and always wanted it to be healthy so that's how I never cutted even though I still feel like cutting sonetimes but I also feel scared from it.



Metalgear29
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04 Oct 2014, 8:59 am

I used to cut myself with a razor when I was a kid, but I grew out of it, I ended up getting tattoos, it feels as if it releases my demons. This is something you shouldn't do, as it can lead to permanent body mutilation.



BeggingTurtle
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04 Oct 2014, 9:53 am

IAmTheCatalyst wrote:
Now I do it because it's a habit, I like the pain because it makes me feel alive (as I said already)... Good luck quitting though. I hope you find a way to do so.


Catalyst, I do partially do it to make myself feel alive, but I also do it to pull myself out of my emotional episodes.


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babybird
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04 Oct 2014, 11:34 am

Is there not something else you could do that perhaps gives you a similar feeling but where you're not causing yourself harm.

I don't know like what, but maybe there could be something.


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LookingLost
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04 Oct 2014, 12:03 pm

Just thought, have you tried snapping a rubber band on your wrist? It never really worked for me, but I have heard it work for some people. Also, squeezing or chewing ice cubes is another alternative to cutting that some people have found useful. I think you should be able to find more ideas if you google 'self-harm alternatives' or similar.


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Deb1970
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04 Oct 2014, 1:23 pm

BeggingTurtle wrote:
I know I shouldn't be doing it.

I take my pocket knife, and slowly saw into my wrist until it bleeds. Both wrists have marks on them now and I keep doing it every day. It's been this way since I broke up with my girlfriend. I want to to stop, but I need solutions for it first.


Have you tried putting a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it. Cutting yourself will cause scars that will never go away.


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