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schleppenheimer
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14 Oct 2014, 8:28 am

I was just reading another thread, and I am fascinated by the concept of extroverted Aspies that was mentioned in this other thread.

We dropped my son off at a college in Indiana that is very Aspie-friendly (it's Earlham College). This is a school that doesn't really have a program for kids on the spectrum, but over time I think a lot of people with Aspergers and their parents have discovered that this school is a great setting ... so there's a good percentage of Aspie's who attend there. My son is a relatively quiet (though friendly) Aspie/HFA kid. There were two young men there who are what I guess would be termed "extroverted aspies." These guys were AMAZING. I have never witnessed their "type" before. Sure, they were quirky and had unusual social ways, but they were so appealing and interesting and social. I just loved watching them maneuver around this college, making friends, interacting with the college personnel, and just doing great. I don't know what their issues are, or if they even have issues, but they were great. I left, hoping that a little of their apparent self-confidence could rub off on my son. [Truth is, my son isn't automatically friends with these kids, but he's doing just fine anyways at this college -- I highly recommend it!]

So, are you an extroverted aspie? How does that work?

[and just saying, I like introverted aspies just as much as extroverted aspies ... the only difference that I observed is that there seems to be more self-confidence with the extroverted aspies...]



LabPet
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14 Oct 2014, 1:57 pm

I am curious about extroverted Aspies too. I am introverted, as are probably most of us. As I understand, for the minority of outgoing Aspies, they are only selectively extroverted. That is, their extroversion may be situational. Not wanting to typecast though! For me, if I am comfortable with someone, then I am far more open, and I can sense when/if someone is not accepting of me. And I am shy around strangers.

Anyhow, interesting topic. And all the best with your son's academic program.


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ZenDen
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14 Oct 2014, 2:13 pm

Can anyone who understands this subject tell us if
extroverted aspies have long lasting success with
making and keeping friends?

Depending on contact with others to re-energize
your "internal batteries" but, because of AS, being
unable to do so would be tragic.



Campin_Cat
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14 Oct 2014, 6:49 pm

Well, I'm an extroverted Aspie but I don't know what to tell ya regarding "how does that work" 'cause I don't know, really, how I got this way. I guess the easiest answer is that I come from a family that's very extroverted. I think it's more than that though 'cause I can remember being shy as a child but still extroverted to an extent 'cause my mother said "don't be like that (shy / quiet), people will think something's wrong with ya". I DO remember, however, teaching myself certain things so I could be more "normal" / accepted / whatever. I remember in Junior High, there was this teacher.... Have you ever seen a black person who when they smile they look, like, angelic, or something----they glow? (I guess white people can appear this way too, it just seems to show-up better on black people, I guess.) Well, this teacher was a black lady who used to stand outside her door in the morning greeting everyone as they came into school. She was so beautiful because she had such a beautiful smile and personality, and that "angelic thing" goin'-on, and one day I just said to myself: "I'm gonna be like that". So, that was 7th grade----I guess it started then.

As for making and keeping friends: I've never been one to have ALOT of friends----just because it's too much trouble to, like, keep track of everybody and everything to do with them----but, I had 3 best friends for many, many years (1, for like 30 years; the other 2, 20+ years, each). They all left me though when I became unable to work. If it'd been left up to ME, we'd still be friends. I am godmother to one of their daughters, and I'm in contact with HER, but not on a regular basis.

Someone said something about it being "situational". I don't think that's how I am----I'm always outgoing!!





skibum
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14 Oct 2014, 7:49 pm

I am an outgoing Aspie who does very well socially, for an Aspie. I can make friends easily and can get by and be very outgoing at times and even fool many who would think I am NT. I am not, however, an extrovert. I am very much an introvert. I am not shy at all and I can go up to any stranger and meet and talk to that person anytime, anywhere, but I do not get recharged by being with people. When I am done, and it does not take very long, I am done and I have to have solitude and quiet for a good bit of time to recharge and restore. So people might mistaken me as an extrovert from outward appearance but I am very much an introvert.


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Count_Esclarmonde
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14 Oct 2014, 8:11 pm

Very extroverted yet very socially awkward aspy here. I have managed to find friends who have gotten used to my eccentricities, so I was quite lucky in that regard.



Hoth
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15 Oct 2014, 2:21 am

I was diagnosed at 14, but I never really fit in with the autistic crowd. I am possibly one of the most extroverted people at my engineering college (not saying a whole lot there :P). I've joined, and am vice president of, a Fraternity on campus and have worked as an adviser for other students on how to be more socially involved.

I am unique in that I am VERY anti-tradition and anti-routine. I you have always done something one way, there is no better reason to do it a different way. I love being interrupted and I love going out of way to help people out. But at the same time, I appear so nonchalant that it seems like I dont care about anything. My eye contact has become spectacular over the years and I think i have overcome every verbal tick I have ever had.

I do have special interests, but I am the type of person where I can study something extensively for years, then just drop it instantly once I'm done with it. For example, I was an amazing guitar hero player back in high school, could beat any song on expert. Once i got to college, I dropped it completely for two years. Recently I found a controller and picked it up again and I am having a blast with it. But as soon as a graduate, i probably wont bring it with me

Was I misdiagnosed? I registered just to find someone else like me. I know I can not understand body language, irony, sarcasm, flirting, or anything that is "between the lines". I have a ton of friends, or people I am aquainted with, because an athletic 6 foot tall 250lb guy sticks out like a sore thumb at an engineering school, but I hate small talk, can immediately trust anyone (and am very gullible) and only have a few people that actually have gotten to the point where they trust me back.

One particular incident rings in my mind where i applied for the job and in the interview I mentioned that I was an aspie and the response I got from the interviewer was "Yea, I worked with autistic kids for 5 years, I could tell just by the way you moved your eyes." I dont know what to make of it.

I hope I can find someone else who is a bit like this



goldfish21
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15 Oct 2014, 3:11 am

I suppose you could call me that.

I'll talk with anyone about anything & am generally well received by others. During my time in business school I was elected to a position on the Student Association as Chair of Business and Health Sciences. In hindsight, yes I was quirky.. but I definitely didn't have a problem interacting with others/faculty/staff etc - I just didn't always do it with social grace lol.

Even during times in my life where I was quite anxious, I've still worked social jobs. Bartending, outside sales etc. But there was a period where I wanted nothing to do with a social/sales job at all and only wanted to do physical labour. Now I'm back to a service job working at a bar/restaurant and so far so good - especially since my symptoms are now minimal compared to what they were a couple of years ago.

I'm fairly outgoing in other areas of my life, too. I kite board, snowboard a bit still, mountain bike once in a blue moon & just generally like to get out and do active stuff, usually with at least one other person and often with many others. Unless I'm going for a run, then it's been solo for all but one run with a friend & the time I did the Tough Mudder in Whistler a couple years ago.

Overall I've always been much more outgoing than my twin brother. He's always been much shyer/quiet/introverted in comparison.

And while I'll visit one of a few different close friends whenever I get the chance to, I'm not really one to care for going out to socialize with others very often at all. I don't really go to bars/restaurants etc unless I'm visiting my friend while he's working. I don't avoid socializing due to anxiety or anything like I used to, I just don't really feel the need for much of it very often. I'd rather workout or go for a run or read a book or business news or something. I guess I get enough social interaction at work. As much as I'm more capable of socializing "normally" than ever, I do still like my solitude.

I do have quite a few friends & acquaintances from school and work over the years, but only a core few that I see on any sort of regular basis. Besides a few close friends and their families, I'm pretty indifferent about whether I see or hear from any other friends, really. I've also gone through periods of a few years where I'd hang out with one friend far more than any other, then it switches to another for a while, then another etc - but in each case it was because I was also working with them at whatever job I was doing at the time. But the close friends I keep in touch with aren't ones I've worked alongside, they're much better closer friends that I know I'll have in my life forever.


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