What to do with this guy who is attracted to me?

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AspieOtaku
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17 Nov 2014, 7:32 am

Pretend to be interested in him lead him on then reject him and let him know that you were never interested in a loser or a nobody it will be priceless and hell be heartbroken and destroyed inside.


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Kezzstar
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17 Nov 2014, 2:45 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
Pretend to be interested in him lead him on then reject him and let him know that you were never interested in a loser or a nobody it will be priceless and hell be heartbroken and destroyed inside.


And if you REALLY want to sink the boot in, go for his best friend.

(My ex did this to me, thankfully my best friend told him to get stuffed!)


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RightGalaxy
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18 Nov 2014, 9:16 am

Guys like this are real A holes. If you tell him you're gay, he'll say he can change you. If you tell him you have a boyfriend, he'll say "What's that got to do with me?" If you say you're not interested, he'll say, "Well, you say that now." He just wants to live life to the fullest while he's here and then go back to Italy and marry his fiance. If he does what he wants here, she won't find out. Think about it. While would an A hole like him want to conquest a little dweeble. He wants a conquest with a hot girl like you. A general is not happy conquesting a town that surrendered on first notice. It's the fight that gives the general the big rush. Once he lands you, he get a big rush.
He's a "me-me".



RightGalaxy
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18 Nov 2014, 9:23 am

Kezzstar wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
Pretend to be interested in him lead him on then reject him and let him know that you were never interested in a loser or a nobody it will be priceless and hell be heartbroken and destroyed inside.


And if you REALLY want to sink the boot in, go for his best friend.

(My ex did this to me, thankfully my best friend told him to get stuffed!)


Don't play games with a person like this or people like this. You'll get raped. Just avoid!!
It's easy for people on this website to tell you to do this and to do that because it's not them who are in the situation. Be polite, tell the truth BUT stay away!! Guys are different. Say, you went for his best friend. This is what could and probably will happen: One will drug you and they'll both have you. This guy is confident. You can't play games with people like this. They know all the games. You have to expect stuff like this once you join a class. People join classes to meet others or to just have a good time without strings attached.



RightGalaxy
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18 Nov 2014, 9:27 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Pretend to be interested in him lead him on then reject him and let him know that you were never interested in a loser or a nobody it will be priceless and hell be heartbroken and destroyed inside.



BAD, VERY BAD ADVICE to give another female!! ! You will get this poor person raped or killed!!
Don't play games like this with people. You think you can control people with manipulative games?! You can't. They'll slap you down really hard!! ! When someone is a bad egg, they should be avoided. Run away fast and keep running. Don't try some weird game of "control" with them.



RightGalaxy
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18 Nov 2014, 9:32 am

violetpinks wrote:
Italian and Brazilian men definitely have a culture of "loudly and openly" admiring women that they find attractive. While I do think that it's something they find harmless, it can make others not familiar with their culture very uncomfortable. The problem is when he doesn't stop when you have clearly asked him not to pursue you so intently. Being forthright and to the point can help folks know that they are clearly attractive to someone, but is that attraction the right kind of attraction? Many times, it's a "booty call' type of attraction (intention of having a quick sexual affair and that's it). That is not a healthy way of attaining a relationship unless that is your thing you prefer to do. The guy may be Italian and he may be just acting as his culture taught him, but he is in a different country and he should know as well as anyone, that there are always different sets of standards, etiquette, and behavior expectations. If he continues to pursue you even after you have clearly and tactfully rebuffed his aggressive efforts, then I would be careful and start thinking of an alternate route to take to avoid him altogether. If that doesn't work, then let security know and do not travel alone if he shows no signs of quitting. Be careful and best of luck. I have had a similar experience and the man did not like when I told him that I was not looking for a relationship (I was trying to be nice and not say that I was not attracted to him). He was at least 50 years old and I was only 18 at the time and he would come into my place of employment and endlessly talk to me to the point where I told him I was busy. He started sending me flowers and even a pair of diamond earrings! He was very proud of the fact that he was an optometrist and took it upon himself to make that known to me even though I thought he was making a complete fool of himself. I didn't want to insult him because I am not the kind of person who likes to do that, but it got to the point where I had to call for an escort home when he started following me home! That is when I think it was dangerous. I actually had to quit my job, move in with my parents and change my number. He was arrested for stalking someone else the last time I heard and it still makes me shiver to think that he could have done something to me. Sometimes, you can't be too careful. Guys can deal with this too and the same advice to them as well.


The one thing I know about Italians is this: They NEVER run around like this until they are engaged or about to be married real soon. They treat women like it's the Last Supper before their crucified by marriage vows.



RightGalaxy
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18 Nov 2014, 9:34 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Tell him that you love children, that you are not on birth control, and that you are looking for a man who can support a large family and a suitable wedding. Then describe the wedding that you want -- only a few hundred guests, ten bridesmaids, a 20-piece orchestra -- and how you want to honeymoon in the bridal suite at a five-star hotel in Monaco. Then sit down with him and a stack of Modern Bride magazines, and remark how 4-carat engagement rings are just too pretentious when a 2 carat ring is just as nice.

Oh, and mention that you hope he doesn't mind if Mom moves in and lives with the two of you for the first few years ... you know ... to take care of the twins ... they run in the family ... triplets, too ... :wink: :twisted:


You have just described the typical conservative Middle-Easten girl.


That will do!! !! :lol: That's GOOD advice!! !



RightGalaxy
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18 Nov 2014, 9:45 am

This is what I can't stand about girls. If you're not interested, then don't offer friendship. Why say you'll do this or that with a person YET you're NOT interested in them. NOT interested mean not interested. It doesn't mean half-way interested. Do you know what "show me around town" really means? It means show me around your genitals. Think about it? When a hooker asks a guy, "Hey, you want a date?" She's not talking about going to a McDonald's for french fries. Or if a hooker asks a guy,"Hey, sailor, new in town?" What do you think that means?? A LOT of guys from other countries think American women are free whores. Look, why is this a dilemma for you? Are you turned on by the guy?? It's at your own risk! Just look out for yourself.



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18 Nov 2014, 9:47 am

nerdygirl wrote:
Unfortunately, I think you have no choice but to be extremely direct. His pestering and some of the comments he has made make him seem even more sleazy. I think you should say, "I do not have any interest in having a relationship with you outside of class and politely ask you to cease contacting me." He needs to stop. Pronto. If he continues, you have a different problem on your hands.

You also need to unfriend him on Facebook.



VERY GOOD ADVICE!! !! !! !! !! :D



Cafeaulait
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18 Nov 2014, 4:37 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
This is what I can't stand about girls. If you're not interested, then don't offer friendship. Why say you'll do this or that with a person YET you're NOT interested in them. NOT interested mean not interested. It doesn't mean half-way interested. Do you know what "show me around town" really means? It means show me around your genitals. Think about it? When a hooker asks a guy, "Hey, you want a date?" She's not talking about going to a McDonald's for french fries. Or if a hooker asks a guy,"Hey, sailor, new in town?" What do you think that means?? A LOT of guys from other countries think American women are free whores. Look, why is this a dilemma for you? Are you turned on by the guy?? It's at your own risk! Just look out for yourself.


Well I know that now. I didn't now that guys were like that and that 'show me around town' meant 'show me your genitals'. I am not interested in this guy but I will keep seeing him in salsa class, therefore I find it hard to reject him flat out or suddenly defriend him on facebook. But I guess that is what I have to do. I am Dutch by the way, not American.



em_tsuj
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18 Nov 2014, 9:58 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
This is what I can't stand about girls. If you're not interested, then don't offer friendship...


Well I know that now. I didn't now that guys were like that and that 'show me around town' meant 'show me your genitals'. I am not interested in this guy but I will keep seeing him in salsa class, therefore I find it hard to reject him flat out or suddenly defriend him on facebook. But I guess that is what I have to do. I am Dutch by the way, not American.


RightGalaxy doesn't speak for all guys. Just because he can't maintain a platonic relationship with a female doesn't mean every guy is like that.

I asked a girl out a few weeks ago. We only interact in a specific situation. I enjoyed spending time with her and tried to see if we could spend time together outside of that situation. She turned me down. It hurt, but I am not going to get all mad about it. She doesn't owe me anything. Besides, being an as*hole because she turned me down will ruin any future good times we would have. Relationships with the opposite sex don't have to be all or nothing. Dancing with a guy or chatting on Facebook does not mean you owe him sex or a date. It also doesn't mean that you are leading him on.

One thing I will say about the guy in your salsa class is that he does not seem to respect the word "no", so he is probably not a safe person to spend time with alone outside of salsa class. He'll probably try to coerce you into having sex with him.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Nov 2014, 2:17 am

You find him hot that's why you never see him creepy and that's why you are not ghosting him.

You are sexually attracted to him but you are trying to convince yourself that you aren't attracted to him because you don't think he's a bf material :lol:.

So you like the playa-bad boy type after all, eh? ;p :trollface:



hale_bopp
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19 Nov 2014, 2:32 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
violetpinks wrote:
Italian and Brazilian men definitely have a culture of "loudly and openly" admiring women that they find attractive. While I do think that it's something they find harmless, it can make others not familiar with their culture very uncomfortable. The problem is when he doesn't stop when you have clearly asked him not to pursue you so intently. Being forthright and to the point can help folks know that they are clearly attractive to someone, but is that attraction the right kind of attraction? Many times, it's a "booty call' type of attraction (intention of having a quick sexual affair and that's it). That is not a healthy way of attaining a relationship unless that is your thing you prefer to do. The guy may be Italian and he may be just acting as his culture taught him, but he is in a different country and he should know as well as anyone, that there are always different sets of standards, etiquette, and behavior expectations. If he continues to pursue you even after you have clearly and tactfully rebuffed his aggressive efforts, then I would be careful and start thinking of an alternate route to take to avoid him altogether. If that doesn't work, then let security know and do not travel alone if he shows no signs of quitting. Be careful and best of luck. I have had a similar experience and the man did not like when I told him that I was not looking for a relationship (I was trying to be nice and not say that I was not attracted to him). He was at least 50 years old and I was only 18 at the time and he would come into my place of employment and endlessly talk to me to the point where I told him I was busy. He started sending me flowers and even a pair of diamond earrings! He was very proud of the fact that he was an optometrist and took it upon himself to make that known to me even though I thought he was making a complete fool of himself. I didn't want to insult him because I am not the kind of person who likes to do that, but it got to the point where I had to call for an escort home when he started following me home! That is when I think it was dangerous. I actually had to quit my job, move in with my parents and change my number. He was arrested for stalking someone else the last time I heard and it still makes me shiver to think that he could have done something to me. Sometimes, you can't be too careful. Guys can deal with this too and the same advice to them as well.


Seriously. What a stalkative piece of s**t. Yesterday morning he asked me if I could show him around town this weekend and I said: 'Nope, no time'. Half a day later he sends anoter whatsapp with: 'what a long wait'.
WTF is the behaviour? Some guys really need to chill out.


Nah, ignoring him doesn't seem to work. You are going to have to say something, change your number or leave the class.



hale_bopp
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19 Nov 2014, 2:33 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
This is what I can't stand about girls. If you're not interested, then don't offer friendship.


What a silly thing to say. Are you suggesting that you should be romantically interested in someone before you have them as a friend?



Cafeaulait
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19 Nov 2014, 3:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You find him hot that's why you never see him creepy and that's why you are not ghosting him.

You are sexually attracted to him but you are trying to convince yourself that you aren't attracted to him because you don't think he's a bf material :lol:.

So you like the playa-bad boy type after all, eh? ;p :trollface:


I don't find him hot because 'hot' is something that comes with personality. Purely looks wise, I don't find him good looking or handsome. His face is not the type of face that I would classify as beautiful and I am actually quite turned off by it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Nov 2014, 8:27 am

Wasn't there a guy there you fantasize about, is he the same guy?

If not, ask out that other guy, killing 2 birds in one stone: you might get a bf and the stalker would back off if he sees affectionate you with another guy.