Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

NeueZiel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,330
Location: Kapustin Yar

23 Nov 2014, 5:29 pm

Trying to reach out to others because I suffer from this, its one of my biggest ailments. If I like a person I become SUPER obsessive, hyper-clingy and my day is dictated by how the other person behaves toward me. I can become suicidal or euphoric at the drop of a hat. I'm very needy, emotionally, I've been told. When I say suicidal I mean either cutting my wrists or doing stuff like trying to walk into traffic.

Most recently I am going through this with my ex and it has been very painful. I've lost nearly 10 pounds this week. I feel like the purpose of my day is just to hear her on skype or the phone. She's my only source of happiness anymore and I live in constant fear of certain things I cannot control involving her.



23 Nov 2014, 11:16 pm

I've been pretty clingy in my 1st two relationships & it was so bad with the 1st one that the relationship fell apart because of it. It caused me to have a mental breakdown & I fell into a psychotic depression. One of the diagnoses I received was codependency because I had the behavior within the relationship. I was pretty clingy in my 1nd relationship in the begging but it got better after I started taking an anxiety medication. After the relationship ended I was sort of stalking her posts till I started a med for OCD. I'm in my 3rd relationship now & I'm not super obsessed or clingy thou I am some.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

23 Nov 2014, 11:33 pm

Guest wrote:
I've been pretty clingy in my 1st two relationships & it was so bad with the 1st one that the relationship fell apart because of it. It caused me to have a mental breakdown & I fell into a psychotic depression. One of the diagnoses I received was codependency because I had the behavior within the relationship. I was pretty clingy in my 1nd relationship in the begging but it got better after I started taking an anxiety medication. After the relationship ended I was sort of stalking her posts till I started a med for OCD. I'm in my 3rd relationship now & I'm not super obsessed or clingy thou I am some.
I made this post assuming I was logged in unaware guest are allowed to post on upgrade. i made a typeO & meant to say I was pretty clingy in my 2nd relationship in the beginning.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


BeggingTurtle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,374
Location: New England

24 Nov 2014, 9:45 pm

Meds do not solve clingy/OCD problems for me. As I grow older, I feel as though I have become more affectionate towards people that I took for granted.

My sister is leaving for college. She's going a state away, not too far to visit, but I love her very much.

I am losing contact with a close autistic friend. I want to spend a lot of time with him, but he's distracted by work.

Soon I'll leave for college. What will happen to my brother?


_________________
Shedding your shell can be hard.
Diagnosed Level 1 autism, Tourettes + ADHD + OCD age 9, recovering Borderline personality disorder (age 16)


Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

04 Dec 2014, 12:03 am

yes.

(deep sigh)

i have made a word for the object of my obsessions. sodacaen. (soda can without the dipthongized 'o')



catboy777
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 60

12 Dec 2014, 9:10 am

Yes I can be super clingy and obessive with people at times. I ruined a relationship because I got so clingy with my ex girl friend that I ended up being sent to a mental hospital and I couldn't even see her again. You I thought the relationship was going rather smoothly but she was a person on the Autism rainbow and didn't want to publically announce we were in a relationship. Anyway I was even so jealous of the other people she hung out with. I used to so obessed with her that I followed her every where. Sigh.



Amberlena
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2013
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 250
Location: a place

13 Dec 2014, 2:51 pm

That's exactly how I am too :'( my ex broke up with me over a month ago but I still think about him every moment of the day and I often cry myself to sleep. Sometimes during the day when I'm thinking about him I just randomly burst out crying and I can't control it...



Graelwyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,601
Location: Hants, Uk

14 Dec 2014, 12:54 am

Yes.
It is frustrating. I cannot seem to find a middle ground when it comes to certain people. It is all or nothing. Detached or attached. I have also had people obsessions, which is one of the first things that stood out to me when I first read Tony Attwood's book, before I even had any awareness I might have Asperger's. This tendency to become clingy and obsessive has led to long periods where I remain in solitude to avoid the potential pain and complications.


_________________
I am diagnosed as a human being.


em_tsuj
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,786

28 Dec 2014, 11:03 pm

I can be. I am all or nothing with people. Either I obsess over them or I have no feelings for them at all.



MonochromeMatryoshka
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2015
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 43

04 Jan 2015, 3:37 am

Same as em_tsuj here. I usually am super-clingy, hate with my whole heart, or don't care at all for people. There's no in between.



noodler
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 203

04 Jan 2015, 11:42 am

My ex left me in 2005 and I still think of her every day. At first, the pain was so great that I became self destructive. I didn't have the guts to kill myself, so I tried to break all of my fingers. At first, I was furious that she left me in the middle of the night with nothing but a note explaining why. But after all of these years I understand that my mental illness was driving her mad. I haven't had a single romantic relationship since, and I think this is best for me. I agonized over the way her family treated her, but yet she did not feel it the way I did.

When we were together, I lost contact with all of my friends and spent all of my time with her or by myself. I couldn't stop thinking about her. At one time, I wished I could just leave my body and ascend into the clouds so that everything would work out like a normal relationship. But I couldn't retain that clarity and it ruined the relationship.



fatinah
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2015
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 11

05 Jan 2015, 6:01 pm

i am also super clingy when it come to people that i adore and love. sometimes it make me feel burdened of myself because always nagging to see her when something really bad happen to me. even worst, i start questioning myself and eventually hating myself for it.

for information, i am eldest sister in my family and a source of inspiration for younger ones. so, i become independent toward people that need me. but for some of friends that give good responses; such as talk to me and taking care of me, i always nag to them. some of them even leave me because of that..

how you overcome this? i dont want to be burden to anyone but, i cant help.. :( :(



noodler
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 203

15 Jan 2015, 6:11 am

fatinah wrote:
i am also super clingy when it come to people that i adore and love. sometimes it make me feel burdened of myself because always nagging to see her when something really bad happen to me. even worst, i start questioning myself and eventually hating myself for it.

for information, i am eldest sister in my family and a source of inspiration for younger ones. so, i become independent toward people that need me. but for some of friends that give good responses; such as talk to me and taking care of me, i always nag to them. some of them even leave me because of that..

how you overcome this? i dont want to be burden to anyone but, i cant help.. :( :(


I have a friend who I really like being around, but several years ago he really distanced himself from me. It was after I told him how lonely I was and wished we could hang out more b/c I didn't have any other friends. I think it scared him. I only saw him a couple times a year after that. So, I just decided that I had to accept that I couldn't count on him. I stopped emailing him. After some time, he started emailing me. I'd respond, but not try to get him to hang out with me. Before long, he was wanting to hang out again. So, I pretty much just respond to him when he emails me and let him be the one to suggest getting together. Last year, we hung out at least ten times. And we communicate at least a few times a week through email.

I also have tried to watch myself as to what I talk to him about. I try not to talk about myself or depressing things. I think that pushed him away too.

I don't know if this is anything like what you're experiencing, but you're not alone in having trouble maintaining friendships.