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2cat007
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25 Nov 2014, 2:42 am

Okay so I know that this post isn't autism themed, but I don't know where else to ask for advice so I thought asking in this thread would be the best place.

I just recently found out my mom has been battling depression ever since she was a little girl. (I just found 2 or 3 hours ago.) It isn't serious from what she saids, she saids she has good and bad days. But I know deep down she feels sad regularly. Does anyone have any advice on how to help her? I know having her talk to someone is something to do, but right now she can't really see one right now. (It's for personal reasons) But next year she can so I'm see if she wants to. I just don't know how I can help her. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks!



Sweetleaf
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26 Nov 2014, 4:16 am

For one just be supportive and be there for her without judging her for it, let her know you care. There doesn't necessarily have to be anything said having a supportive friend/family member can do a lot for a depressed person at least in my experience of having ongoing major depression....feeling alone just adds to it. Unfortunately I don't have anyone in my life I can really talk to about much of it aside from the therapist I have now, not so much people don't care but like I am 25, my brother is 20...he doesn't want to hear about my mental problems(hes a 20 year old dude trying to get his life going and so I don't wanna bother him with it too much that is for sure) and he is in no position to know how to actually 'help' aside from just spending time with me which does help. My dad is homeless so obviously he's got a lot of crap to deal with so seems like as for friends/family I am kind of alone with it.

Also if your mom may be able to go to therapy next year, I'd say encourage that...don't be pushy about it but certianly be encouraging since therapy can be helpful. Also there are medications but they don't work for everyone and some people are uncomfortable taking them but it is one thing that helps some people.


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2cat007
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26 Nov 2014, 11:34 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
For one just be supportive and be there for her without judging her for it, let her know you care. There doesn't necessarily have to be anything said having a supportive friend/family member can do a lot for a depressed person at least in my experience of having ongoing major depression....feeling alone just adds to it. Unfortunately I don't have anyone in my life I can really talk to about much of it aside from the therapist I have now, not so much people don't care but like I am 25, my brother is 20...he doesn't want to hear about my mental problems(hes a 20 year old dude trying to get his life going and so I don't wanna bother him with it too much that is for sure) and he is in no position to know how to actually 'help' aside from just spending time with me which does help. My dad is homeless so obviously he's got a lot of crap to deal with so seems like as for friends/family I am kind of alone with it.

Also if your mom may be able to go to therapy next year, I'd say encourage that...don't be pushy about it but certianly be encouraging since therapy can be helpful. Also there are medications but they don't work for everyone and some people are uncomfortable taking them but it is one thing that helps some people.

Thank you! If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here.



maddycakes__
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01 Dec 2014, 7:27 am

Just let her know that you are there for her and that she can talk to you about it if she likes. Also, checking up on her could be useful, not like every hour or anything silly like that but just asking her how she is once a day or whatever probably like you normally would I guess! Asking her to do things with you in your/her free time could be useful too e.g. watching a funny film with her, going on a day trip somewhere, just fun, simple things to help her enjoy herself.

It is really sweet that you are wanting to help her.

(I have depression.)


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2cat007
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02 Dec 2014, 10:30 pm

maddycakes__ wrote:
Just let her know that you are there for her and that she can talk to you about it if she likes. Also, checking up on her could be useful, not like every hour or anything silly like that but just asking her how she is once a day or whatever probably like you normally would I guess! Asking her to do things with you in your/her free time could be useful too e.g. watching a funny film with her, going on a day trip somewhere, just fun, simple things to help her enjoy herself.

It is really sweet that you are wanting to help her.

(I have depression.)


Thanks!



Kiprobalhato
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03 Dec 2014, 12:11 am

maddycakes__ wrote:
Just let her know that you are there for her and that she can talk to you about it if she likes. Also, checking up on her could be useful, not like every hour or anything silly like that but just asking her how she is once a day or whatever probably like you normally would I guess! Asking her to do things with you in your/her free time could be useful too e.g. watching a funny film with her, going on a day trip somewhere, just fun, simple things to help her enjoy herself.


i concur with this, 100%. in my opinion, simply being there for someone, through all the highs and lows is among the best things you can do in a relationship (yet she's your mother, so you're likely doing this most of the time. i'm sure you're a wonderful daughter to do this, i think so at least.) be supportive however you can, don't forget to leave out your honesty. do check up on her, make her her favorite meals, you could take her for day walks, or as has been said, watch a funny film together! i'd be careful not to pick anything that could bring back bad memories however.

i would think space is important. all people of varying emotional states need it-give her her some, but let her know you'll be there for her when she needs it.

*hug* this is a wonderful thing you're doing for her, hopefully it goes well for both of you :)


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2cat007
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03 Dec 2014, 1:18 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
maddycakes__ wrote:
Just let her know that you are there for her and that she can talk to you about it if she likes. Also, checking up on her could be useful, not like every hour or anything silly like that but just asking her how she is once a day or whatever probably like you normally would I guess! Asking her to do things with you in your/her free time could be useful too e.g. watching a funny film with her, going on a day trip somewhere, just fun, simple things to help her enjoy herself.


i concur with this, 100%. in my opinion, simply being there for someone, through all the highs and lows is among the best things you can do in a relationship (yet she's your mother, so you're likely doing this most of the time. i'm sure you're a wonderful daughter to do this, i think so at least.) be supportive however you can, don't forget to leave out your honesty. do check up on her, make her her favorite meals, you could take her for day walks, or as has been said, watch a funny film together! i'd be careful not to pick anything that could bring back bad memories however.

i would think space is important. all people of varying emotional states need it-give her her some, but let her know you'll be there for her when she needs it.

*hug* this is a wonderful thing you're doing for her, hopefully it goes well for both of you :)


Thank you! *hug back* I just want to be there to help her since she's my best friend.



Kiprobalhato
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04 Dec 2014, 12:07 am

thanks for the hugs! don't forget to give some to your mom if she's like them as well. :)

you haven't mentioned any yet, but i'd like to ask you, any siblings or close cousins?


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2cat007
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04 Dec 2014, 1:44 am

Yes, I have two older brothers and one younger sister. How about you? I also have some cousins, but they don't live near me.



Kiprobalhato
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05 Dec 2014, 8:05 pm

well, i do have one younger sister who lives with me now (we share a room). and around 30-ish first cousins.
but the reason i asked you, do your brothers and sister know that she feels this way? i don't see why they couldn't be able to help her also.


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2cat007
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05 Dec 2014, 9:17 pm

Dang 30 cousins?! O_O I'm not sure if my older brother know, I don't talk to them that much and they don't live near us anymore. But I do know my little sister doesn't know, because that wouldn't help her anxiety.