No wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend!!

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I don't think it's easier for aspie men to get a date because men are expected to take the initiative in relationships.I've not had a date yet.

No, I don't think it's easier for aspie men to get dates than aspie women. Quite the opposite! Men do most of the asking, so women get asked out much more. End of story. But as for all the aspie women being married, I'd say we latch onto a good intelligent man when we find one. I would venture a guess and say that for every happilly married aspie woman posting here, there is at least an equal number of undiagnosed aspie women out there living in trailers with their wifebeater husbands. I came very close to being one of those. Men wonder what's wrong with women who put up with that kind of crap and I'll tell you: it's women who don't think they can function well enough to take care of themselves, so they will marry the first man who will take care of them. Anyway, I could go on with my theories, but that's off topic.

As for how can an aspie man get a date? I'd say look for a cute shy quiet girl. Talk to her about interesting topics to see if you share interests. If not, move on. If you do, and you are MORE interested in her, THEN ask her out. That's how my dh and I got started. His only girlfriend before me was someone he met online and only saw irl once. It was very hard for him to work up the nerve to ask me out. And if you can't possibly do this in real life, then start out online. Then work up to IM'ing or emailing a girl you meet in real life.

Thanks for the advice Wendy,I hate to think of women being abused and feeling that they have to put up with it because they won't get anyone else.
I think aspie women could do with having aspie men because they would be likely to treat them better and know what it's like to have AS.Where you referring to aspie girls when you said a cute,shy,quiet girl?

Yes, I was. My dh insists he is NT, but he does have a heck of a lot in common w/ all the aspies I know. Not to mention he married me, and I was told many times that I intimidated men when I was in college. Just because I'm smart and speak my mind.

I agree, note this is a woman who initially stated this.

I too am against sexism, both male and female. And I've seen enough sexism on this board from both genders to make me wanna throw up. Yeah, men have to make the initiative, so it's ALOT harder for us aspie men to get a date than for a woman. I think women have different issues that effect them, being Aspergian. Women, reguardless if theyr NT or Aspergian, are constantly hit on and treated like a piece of meat (although apparently many of them like it), they'r bombarded with alot of social pressure to look a certain way, and when they don't meet those expectations theyr made to feel as if they are worthless. This is truely sad, factor in Aspergian communication differences and it does make things alot harder for them.
Still though, while I do feel for my Aspergian sisters out there, it is my Aspergian brothers who have the worse plight, for it is us who will have to endure cripplingly lonely lives.

Some of us are just as bad online as in person. I try to just look cute and shy, and hope a woman is aggressive enough to approach me. Too bad I scare them away even when they are.

Last edited by calandale on 12 Mar 2007, 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, I understand Calendale. Communication is not a strength among aspies and communication is what all people need to find each other. It's so hard. I'm not so great communicating online, but I'm even worse in person. The best place to meet someone is somewhere where you feel comfortable. I take a pottery class every Monday evening. THere is a painting class at the same time. It's mostly old retired people, but there are plenty of young women and men there as well. If I were single, that is a place I would feel comfortable talking to a guy. We would automatically have a shared interest in art, for instance.

Every now and then though, someone does come to me. And when they are overcoming all the barriers of shyness to approach, well I know that they are truly interested; even more so when they manage to break through my inate resistance. I've been moved a couple of times like this as well - once or twice it even worked out (sort of). On the other hand, if one little thing goes wrong at these early stages - if one of my signals is misinterpreted, for example - it tends to ruin everything.