I gave up on girls when I was 13.

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Warning: this post is long, and pretty naively optimistic, but I hope it helps a little! <3

Giving up on girls is like giving up on cats because a kitten scratched you. At thirteen the girls your age are terrifying. But, you wanna know the good news? Most of them grow up.^^ Everybody grows up...er, everybody changes and gains experience as they grow older. If a lot of people are being mean to you, calling you ugly, stupid, ect. It doesn't mean they're right. It means they have more growing to do, and that you should find better people to surround yourself with.

But, anyway, your question. You want to know how to accept that you're an unlovable loser, right? Own it. I know it seems like an odd thing to say, but part of acceptance is taking a good look at who you are as a person. Everyone has weaknesses, sure, but everyone has strengths too. I know it's hard to focus on the positives when you're depressed but that doesn't mean they've magically disappeared.

This is gunna seem a little creeperish...and I apologize, but I've seen your discussions in other parts of the forum. You're not stupid. Maybe you say the wrong things in a conversation, I know I'm fantastic at doing that, but it looks to me like the posts you make here are really well thought out. You care enough to help other members with their troubles. You cared about your cat. People can be gorgeous on the inside. I know I'd rather be with a homely guy who cared, who helped people, who loved his cat, then a model who was too preoccupied with himself and what people could do for him.

There's a positive side to pretty much everything. I'm not going to repeat the advice the others have given you, or their reassurances, but it is valid. I know that self-esteem is kind of like a snowball rolling down a hill. That first push sends it down, and it grows, and it grows, and it grows. It might feel like an avalanche. It might feel like you're being buried alive, that you'll never get out, that you're not worth digging out. The longer you stay there, buried under all the negative things people have said about you, the more it feels like they were right all along. No one is going to come and dig you out. No one is going to magically save you. But you know what? You can dig yourself out. You can own the negatives. They're still a part of you, and you can decide how you perceive them.

Wow, sorry, I got a little poetic there. Haha, anyway, to help illustrate I'll give a quick example. I used to hate my teeth. They're a weird lopsided where they sort of do this slant thing and the left half are lower than the right half. I used to be self-conscious of them, I'd smile because I thought something was funny and then I'd get embarrassed, but then I decided that nothing was gunna keep me from smiling. Now I own my lopsided smile. It's mine, it's slightly mischievous and as lovably imperfect as the rest of me, I smile all the time now.

Accepting isn't resigning yourself to an awful and lonely sort of life. If you want to accept who you are, you need to own it. Once you own it, you might just realize that what you thought you would have to accept maybe isn't that bad after all. Positive thoughts can change everything.<3 Give it a try.

PS: When I'm staring at a guy's lips whether or not they're gay is the last thing on my mind. If it's even there. xD Don't worry about it too much. Girls don't go around with a magical lip reader device, or whatever else we're supposed to use to determine whether people are homosexual or not. Though a device would be very handy.

Yes, evolution tells us that physical form is very important when selecting for a mate or determining the alpha male. Pre-programmed and unfair (survival of the fittest) that's just how it is. No amount of lying to ourself or others can change the primitive parts of our wiring.

Depending on age there is always time to grow into a more masculine form. You would be surprised how being an adult can change a person physically. If someone can't change their facial features or structure then loosing weight, keeping fit and a new hairstyle, new glasses, wardrobe is what might be needed (you would be impressed how much glasses and hair style can change a person!). If there is still no luck with that one could try seeking out someone at their physical level with the same amount of confidence (someone for everyone).

Thats all the practical advice I can think of right now.

one of my friends gave up on girls when he was in high school, and to this day, at age 45, he is a virgin, never had a girlfriend

I hear you, man. I really, really do. I've been there, in many ways, I still am. Listen, I'm not gonna insult you by giving you some bs pep talk. We are unfit men, meaning we're the lowest of the low on the social pecking order. Our lot in life is not an easy one.

Personally, I'm still holding out hope there's someone out there... and yeah, deep inside I kinda now it's irrational optimism. But I have to believe it. Otherwise, what's the point, right?

Now as for your personal, obviously I can't help you with ALL of your problems. I mean, I can't even help myself? But I might be able to offer some new insight on you could deal with one of them: namely your virginity.

Now, you and I both know that by the time men turn 23, they're already expected to have at least some sexual experience under their belt. Here's the thing, generally speaking, women are very susceptible to peer pressure and one of the most important criteria they use when evaluating potential mates is how other women respond to them.

This is a fancy and overly long way of saying you're getting to an age where your virginity can actually become a hinderance in your search for a mate (in addition to everything else you mentioned, like being ugly, short, etc.). Now back in the old days, before feminism arrived and f****d everything up, it was customary for boys, when they got to their mid to late teens, to visit... professionals who took their virginity and tought them the basics about pleasuring other women.

Now, I realize this is illegal in most states, and in the likelihood that you live in one of those states, I certainly won't advise it. But there are at least a couple states where it still is legal, Nevada comes to mind. I realize this is not an ideal arrangement, but given your situation, I do think it's the best course of action available.

If nothing else, you'll get rid of the specter of your virginity, that I'm sure by this point has been haunting for years, much like it did me. Again, this is not an ideal arrangement, and you will feel a bit... empty afterward. But the feeling of relief for finally being rid of your virginity easily makes up for it. And you get to give modern feminist society a big, symbolic middle finger. That alone is worth it.

I'm sorry I couldn't offer any more help. Cheers.

OP - You may wanna consider seeking advice from folks who have been successful in finding a long-term romantic relationship.

Is an older dude who had to *pay* for sex at an older age really someone you wanna take relationship advice from? A role model to emulate?

I was a bit slower---only began to get the message that I had no business trying to date at about fifteen or sixteen. Not that my parents had given me permission, so I inferred it from the comments of those who did date, especially girls.