I gave up on girls when I was 13.

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white_as_snow
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02 Dec 2014, 5:08 pm

And still into this day, I have gived up. Im 23 years old know.

I just have so many weakness. Red lips, small body, small penis, stupied, extremy ugly, short, never kissed and virgin and many more things.

But I cant accept it. I feel very lonly and very sad.

What should I do to accept that iam a loser that no girl in the world wants?

Im sorry for my bad english, im from Sweden.



alex
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02 Dec 2014, 5:13 pm

Well, I think your issue has nothing to do with your looks or your lack of experience. What I mean by this is that your self-esteem needs to improve. If you have the belief that you're inferior in some way, that's what's holding you back.

Your belief is wrong. There's plenty of ugly / poor people with attractive girlfriends so getting a date with a girl is certainly something you could easily do once you took care of the self-esteem problems.


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white_as_snow
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02 Dec 2014, 5:30 pm

alex wrote:
Well, I think your issue has nothing to do with your looks or your lack of experience. What I mean by this is that your self-esteem needs to improve. If you have the belief that you're inferior in some way, that's what's holding you back.

Your belief is wrong. There's plenty of ugly / poor people with attractive girlfriends so getting a date with a girl is certainly something you could easily do once you took care of the self-esteem problems.


Nothing to do with my look and experience? Im extremly ugly and I have a hard time beliving that women dont care about experience. Its not exactly normal to be 23 years old and virgin.

Is it really "bad" self-esteem if im actully right?

If it is wrong, why have so many people told me that im a ugly loser?

Indeed there is many ugly/poor people that have a relationship. But there is so many negative things about me so its silly. Why should I even try when I know what the result will be like?



slenkar
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02 Dec 2014, 5:44 pm

Would you like to post a picture on here?, you might not even be ugly.

My own sister told me I was a loser from age 11 to 21, luckily I didnt listen, I knew she had issues.
The lower class girls at school told me I was a loser, this was difficult to take too.
My older brother criticised me my whole childhood, my 'friends' from school criticised every facet of my introverted personality.



alex
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02 Dec 2014, 5:54 pm

white_as_snow wrote:
Nothing to do with my look and experience? Im extremly ugly and I have a hard time beliving that women dont care about experience.


Quote:

Its not exactly normal to be 23 years old and virgin.

How would they know? If you don't tell them, how would they figure that out? It's not rocket science. If you don't know how to do it, look it up.

Quote:
Is it really "bad" self-esteem if im actully right?
Lol, if you think you're attractive, you're right. If you think the opposite you're also right because that's your personal opinion of yourself. everyone's opinion is subjective so the only opinion that matters is your own. So just change your opinion of yourself.


Quote:
If it is wrong, why have so many people told me that im a ugly loser?
Probably because they pick up on how you view yourself.

Quote:
Indeed there is many ugly/poor people that have a relationship. But there is so many negative things about me so its silly. Why should I even try when I know what the result will be like?
If you truly can see into the future, that alone makes you intriguing most likely. Otherwise, I don't see why you would know what the result is going to be like when the result will be different with different people. If you don't approach enough people you won't find the one that's going to be into the idea of dating you.


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Cafeaulait
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02 Dec 2014, 11:13 pm

alex wrote:
Well, I think your issue has nothing to do with your looks or your lack of experience. What I mean by this is that your self-esteem needs to improve. If you have the belief that you're inferior in some way, that's what's holding you back.

Your belief is wrong. There's plenty of ugly / poor people with attractive girlfriends so getting a date with a girl is certainly something you could easily do once you took care of the self-esteem problems.


I very much agree with this. I dated a guy most of my female friends would not condsider goodlooking. Some would probably even call him ugly. However, he became beautiful and desirable to me because he was funny and confident, could comfort me and was sensitive and attentive.



CynicalWaffle
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03 Dec 2014, 9:44 am

It's a catch-22 because to be confident you need to have been liked anyway.

When you're not liked, you can't gain confidence. Or at least the type of confidence that women like, anyway (social confidence as Boo once put it).

I wish it were as simple as, "if you think you're attractive, you are." It's really not. It's like that guy in Drillbit Taylor said, "you can't polish a turd." I'm not saying the OP is a turd (I don't even know the fella!) but it's true because I lived the nightmare for 26 years. It doesn't matter how funny/confident/whatever you are if you don't look good. Maybe to a very scant few it does, but those people are ironically not worth sifting through billions of duds to find.



izzeme
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03 Dec 2014, 10:26 am

your attitude is the biggest problem.
the rest ar hurdles, sure, but not impossible to overcome.

red lips
can be an asset really, many women like a bit of femininity in men

small body
just like many women, towering over the majority isn't a large advantage either

small penis/virgin/never kissed
not visible on the outside, they won't know untill you tell them.
the alternative is that they notice, but at that point they have already accepted them, and "teaching" a boy is something which girls like to do

ugly
an opinion, nothing more.


dont get me wrong, i felt the same for 26 years (except for the short bit; i'm actually giant, which has simular problems), but i managed to get a GF, which fixed all of these



Xanthic~Rain
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03 Dec 2014, 11:47 am

I know exactly what its like being rejected by girls my whole life just for being myself...it's an awful feeling. You can't turn on confidence like a faucet, the only thing you can do is work on improving yourself. It's a long, gradual process, and it may get discouraging sometimes cuz there will be setbacks--but the more you work on being a better person each day, the better you'll feel about yourself, and that will eventually show on the outside. My point is, I managed to find my soulmate, and I didn't have anyone to help me, I had to do it all on my own, and it took a looooong time... but if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.


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eric76
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03 Dec 2014, 11:54 am

izzeme wrote:
small body
just like many women, towering over the majority isn't a large advantage either


Given a choice, I would always take a woman the same height as me.

Not that that happens.



Uprising
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03 Dec 2014, 4:48 pm

alex wrote:
There's plenty of ugly / poor people with attractive girlfriends

Plenty as in 1/10?



kraftiekortie
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03 Dec 2014, 8:00 pm

More than you think...trust me.

I wish the guy would send his picture--I bet the girls would go all over him!

As for a "small penis": it's not the meat, it's the motion. If you know what to do, you could really offer lots of pleasure to a lady. You could use your "small penis" to her advantage--owing to its flexibility within the Gates of Venus.



alex
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03 Dec 2014, 8:09 pm

Uprising wrote:
alex wrote:
There's plenty of ugly / poor people with attractive girlfriends

Plenty as in 1/10?


As in the definition of plenty: "a large or sufficient amount or quantity; more than enough."


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sly279
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05 Dec 2014, 12:12 am

CynicalWaffle wrote:
It's a catch-22 because to be confident you need to have been liked anyway.

When you're not liked, you can't gain confidence. Or at least the type of confidence that women like, anyway (social confidence as Boo once put it).

I wish it were as simple as, "if you think you're attractive, you are." It's really not. It's like that guy in Drillbit Taylor said, "you can't polish a turd." I'm not saying the OP is a turd (I don't even know the fella!) but it's true because I lived the nightmare for 26 years. It doesn't matter how funny/confident/whatever you are if you don't look good. Maybe to a very scant few it does, but those people are ironically not worth sifting through billions of duds to find.


most people seem to mix up the cause and effect. they assume cause=poor self esteem. effect=people pick up on this and say you are lame/ugly/lack confidence etc.
but in reality its most often cause=people say you suck. effect=low self esteem. I can say I certianly did not start out life or live most my life with poor self esteem. in fact despite being dirt poor I would say I had a good child hood, and even though women and most people didn't like me and a bunch bullied me in 1-8th grade I was happy with the group of friends I had.

however the last 3 years of constantly being told how horrible I am have cause my low self esteem. its not my low self esteem that I have had the last year that cause those people in my past to say those things. regards to women there are a few things that happen growing up that might affect it that and I wasn't too interested in them until I was 20s.

probably way more single ugly men then ugly men with gfs. I've meet a lot of single guys including ones who are 80s and still alone.

doesn't sound like the op has really given up. if we gave up we wouldn't care about finding a woman. if we keep wanting one and looking/dreaming then we haven't given up. I'd probably be little happier if I could just accept and give up.



kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2014, 6:45 pm

Your body will never allow you to give up.



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06 Dec 2014, 12:16 pm

It surely will. It’s a matter of time :lol:

Many people, if not most, aren’t even allowed to date at 13. If they gave up at that age, they’d never try!

izzeme wrote:
small penis/virgin/never kissed
not visible on the outside, they won't know untill you tell them.
the alternative is that they notice, but at that point they have already accepted them, and "teaching" a boy is something which girls like to do


I have a hard time believing virginity and having never been kissed are always invisible, especially in someone with low self-esteem. I’m sure most women can tell it from a mile away.


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