Does this count as a date?

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Smart, cultured, strong of character--great traits for a lady!

Maybe pursue her as a friend, without "friend-zoning" her? Perhaps, one day, her perfume might set your wheels in motion.

I guess...if you don't feel physically to her...that you shouldn't pursue her with avidity just yet.

Maybe, when you're in her company, feelings might emerge.

I know how it feels to "make love" to somebody whom I don't find attractive--it's an ordeal!

In actuality, she sounds like a swell person worthy of getting to know.

Agh, not perfume! That would set of my olfactory issues.

I've never noticed her wearing perfume and I don't think she will because her sensory issues are more severe than mine anyway.

As for attraction, I feel like a cad for saying this but let's say she has the wrong body type.

I'd feel like an überjerk if I told her but I think she already knows. I think she tries but unlike me she can't go on crash diets because they would make her unable to play ice hockey. Unlike me she can't take phentermine because it might be considered a performance enhancing substance (according to Google).

Also she doesn't like video games

If I were to pursue this, just how much common interest do you need in a relationship?

I guess we could just go to the symphony on weekends and I have hunch she'd like theater.
/speculation

Symphony? Theatre? A heck of a lot better than banging around a mosh pit!

I wouldn't mind it if my wife wanted to go to the Symphony once in a while.

Is she an Aspie too? You mentioned "sensory issues worse than yours."

Like I said, if you don't feel physically attracted to her, I wouldn't pursue that avenue until you "feel" it. It's good, though, that you feel like a "virtuous" relationship would work (which could lead to physical attraction later). Definitely don't think about "going steady" LOL

I don't think ice hockey is bad, either, by the way. At least she's on the healthy side.

There's somebody here who is a music composer--yet was a star first-baseman and power hitter for her softball team in her youth.

I don't remember if you're into sports at all. I used to enjoy watching rugby and Australian Rules Football when I was a kid--they used to come on early in the morning--even before the cartoons.

Yeah, she seems to be really classy. She appeals to the side of me that likes culture more than my geek side. But if I can bring her down to something less high brow maybe she'd like one of my old favourites, a show from the Theater Organ Society.

Yes, she's an Aspie.

Yes in some ways she's very healthy. She can do stuff all day and never runs out of energy or even seems to get tired. I'd just be more attracted to her if she could get her BMI down from 40. It would be rude of me to say that to her although based on what I saw her eating that might take care of itself.

No, I've never had any interest in sports. They had that stuff on TV in America? And if it was when you were a kid that would have been before they had cable, right?

Yep.....this was before cable. My first exposure to cable was in 1975-1976. Then I didn't have it until 1990.

Nope...don't mention her weight.

Hey, I'm not stupid.

You're a smart guy. There are "smart" guys who feel compelled to mention weight. She probably dresses pretty well.

I know the feeling well. I once dated a woman whose BMI pushed 50. My wife and I are about 30.

Has it gone up to 45 Celsius yet in Adelaide?

Yes, she does.

I got from BMI 38 to 24 and yet she may not care.

No, it was only in the 30s today.

Wow a BMI of 40 and she is average looking? She must have an incredible face and hair.

I was trying to be kind. I meant average in the euphemistic sense.

It is only called a date if the girl finds you attractive.

if she doesn't, she would call it just outing.

I don't know whether or not she finds me attractive.

I still think it's more dateline that I asked the only girl in our group and not any of my other colleague.

Have you told her about your losing over 100 lbs?

Please let me emphasize: I don't find people of a certain weight necessarily unattractive. I have been attracted to some pretty hefty people in my time. It's really how one "carries oneself." It's also the overall attitude.

If a person, whether looking like a fashion model, or obese as heck, should constantly exhibit negativity, I would be turned off, and tuned out.

I'm not sure. I may have mentioned it to someone else in front of her. Also she may have overheard the supervisor saying that I'd lost of a lot of weight since my driver's license photo was taken. This one time I discussed weight loss techniques with her, (regarding my weight, not hers). She had a few tips which made me think she has some interest in weight loss. Really I was fishing to see if she had any interest in the subject. Also after the first week she refused to eat the catered food because she said it made her gain weight.

All this makes me think she may be trying to lose weight on her own but I think in some ways it would be harder for her than me. Her more active lifestyle means it's not practical for her to go on crash diets like I do every few months. I think if she took phentermine the ice hockey league may consider it a performance enhancing substance.

Hmmm. Maybe. I've seen some fat girls with cute faces but she's more average in the face (yes, I mean average in the literal sense this time).

She generally has a positive and well adjusted attitude. I've never heard her complain about anything but things related to her auditory and gustatory sensory issues.