Do I have schizotypal disorder or even schizophrenia?

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I think that without religion I would be even worse. I might end as a perverted criminal for example. I suppose that without belief in Hell I could not be interested in chastity so much. I might be sexually addicted due to it and my general level of functioning could be not better than now.

Actually, a morality based on reason is easier to apply than a morality based on some primitive, inconsistent, ancient book. In fact, religious leaders like Creflo Dollar, Ted Haggard and Menachem Mendel Schneerson are among the most evil people to ever walk this planet. And I'm sure I don't need to tell you about how common child abuse is within the Catholic church.

Here's some more videos for you below...

Many things in Catholic religion are problematic to my mind because I would not want to damn any creature for eternity or annihilate it. I disagree with materialism. I have "chldish" mentality which "hates" pain, effort, for which studying or job should be fun, which may be unable to more responsible "things" like marriage, parenthood etc. I am slow, "sluggish", "uninterested" in normal life. I am interested in superntural phenomena and curiosities. I dislike risk (for example associated with being a fireman or miner). Comfort is "very important" for my mind. I like riding a bike. I may be "handicapped" occupationally despite my scholastic gift. School learning was often easy for me, might not need an effort from me. But I am "slow" in making presentations or projects on the studies and "hate" them! It appears to be alarming prognosis to my future life because occupational life may be even more complicated than presentations or projects on the studies. In addition, I have social ineptitude, poor technical skills and poor endurance and strength (not so masculine traits). I may have serious problems with skills needed in job.

There's no such thing as eternal damnation. It's just something powerful people tell their sheeple to scare them into blind obedience.



So do I.



We all do.

Here's one of my favorite quotes, from University of Texas at Austin philosophy professor Louis Mackey :

There are two kinds of sufferers in this world: those who suffer from a lack of life and those who suffer from an overabundance of life. I've always found myself in the second category. When you come to think of it, almost all human behavior and activity is not essentially any different from animal behavior. The most advanced technologies and craftsmanship bring us, at best, up to the super-chimpanzee level. Actually, the gap between, say, Plato or Nietzsche and the average human is greater than the gap between that chimpanzee and the average human. The realm of the real spirit, the true artist, the saint, the philosopher, is rarely achieved.

Why so few? Why is world history and evolution not stories of progress but rather this endless and futile addition of zeroes. No greater values have developed. Hell, the Greeks 3,000 years ago were just as advanced as we are. So what are these barriers that keep people from reaching anywhere near their real potential? The answer to that can be found in another question, and that's this: Which is the most universal human characteristic - fear or laziness?



You're Autistic, I assume? Many of us are "sluggish" and "uninterested" in normal life. That doesn't mean there isn't a way to make life interesting for us.



"Supernatural" events are just misunderstood natural events.



Again, all this is pretty common for people with Autism, although I personally do like to take a calculated risk every now and then.



Autism again...

There are ways to make things easier, but you may need to consult a psychologist to help you with that.



Quit your religion. Move on from there.

Your religion is keeping you down. It limits your capacity for reason and it prevents you from becoming a better person.

If you really do need a religion, consider Eastern religions like Tao, Hindu and Buddhism. Unlike Christianity, they put a great emphasis on self-improvement and help you become a better, more stable and happier person.

I am afraid that in the job I would be named like "contemptible ret*d", "worthless one", "the person who brings shame to a company" etc. I think that my family does not appreciate my problems. I feel that my occupational skills are very low. I prefer comfort than erning much money, job should be at first fun for my mentality. I have not technical talents, programming is rather boring for me. I do not like complex tasks. My mentality wants safe and simple job, which would be a pleasure. But it rather would not be so well-paid...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypy

Unusual experiences: The disposition to have unusual perceptual and other cognitive experiences, such as hallucinations, magical or superstitious belief and interpretation of events (see also delusions).
Cognitive disorganization: A tendency for thoughts to become derailed, disorganised or tangential (see also formal thought disorder).
Introverted anhedonia: A tendency to introverted, emotionally flat and asocial behaviour, associated with a deficiency in the ability to feel pleasure from social and physical stimulation.
Impulsive nonconformity: The disposition to unstable mood and behaviour particularly with regard to rules and social conventions.

I bolded what appear to fit me. I do not have hallucinations, delusions, impairing schizophrenic thought disorders, lack of ability to feel pleasure from being together with others or physical stimulation, my mood is rather not unstable. But I am "kooky" despite it since childhood.

Today I was at a visit with a psychiatrist and it was written that I have F84.5, F42.2 and F21. So it is geometrical sequence (F84, F42, F21). I read about a person (a woman) who wrote that she had F84.5, F42 and F21 among her diagnoses and her symptoms were "pretty strange" since childhood.

My mentality looks really bad despite my comfortable life. I have "rapid thinking", "do not know what to write so much". I have great "existential dread". It may be strange for me that some people do not believe in afterlife or even have not hope for it. For me lack of afterlife would look very sad and absurdal, senseless. "Real life begins after death!" It might be sad for me that some people are mortalists who do not believe in their unconditional immortality. I may feel internally happy despite my mental illness. I may look as a young boy because of my mentality, not as an adult despite my good results in school. I have "no social life". I do not want to not finish the studies. I do not look as "classic" autistic or schizophrenic.

My mentality appears to be extremely egocentric. It "thinks" that I am the biggest kook ever. It can "think" that I am the only one person which exist at all, which is extremely crackpot idea. I had "off-the-wall" sexuality since childhood, very stupid behaviors before my 7th birtday (one of them might cause tragedy - death of an infant). There are many people who are more or less similar to me, but not VERY similar. I may think about me as a blend of autist (I have a PDD diagnosis), "schizo" (I have many "kookinesses"), twerp (I may be called "moron" or "idiot" even by significantly younger sister; I had significant hypotrophy at birth and I am "wimpy" physical) and neurotypical (I do not have serious sensory issues and prosopagnosia; hallucinations and delusions, catatonic behaviors; I am not intellectually disabled; I have diagnoses of a PDD and a F2x diagnosis and get psychotropic drug and was "odd" since childhood). I have many coincidences from about 10 months. They may be supernatural phenomena, but for many they may look as symptoms of mental illness. They are often about Aspijkas. It is fascinating phenomenon to my mentality - why I have so much "mysterious" coincidences, mostly about people who have problems similar to mine?

It seems like this death cult you're in messed you up significantly.

Again, watch the video below and ask yourself how much it relates to your religious beliefs. And then, ask yourself whether your religion makes you a better person or whether it's holding you back.

In my opinion, your religion is probably the one factor in your life that's holding you back the most!



Oh, and non-conformity is actually a GOOD thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Some videos on that :

For a diagnosis of either you must not only look at symptoms, but things that could potentially rule out the diagnosis of either.

I am "absorbed" in interest in my mental condition. I suppose that I do NOT belong to so-called "autistic spectrum" (for me my condition is clearly different from "typical" Asperger's). But I think that people like me should be called as "autistic". Not classifying such an individual like me as having PDD would be undestatement for me and it may be harmful. My condition looks for me more as a schizophrenia spectrum condition than typical Asperger's. Somethng alled here as "defiit syndrome of schizophrenia" described here: http://www.clinicalneuropsychiatry.org/pdf/06_nylander.pdf appears to be similar to my condition (symptoms in it include: restricted affet, diminished emotional range, poverty of speeh, curbing of interest, lack of sense of purpose and diminished social drive. My condition might be something which can be called "pervasive developmental disorder from schizophrenia spectrum".

I have very bizarre ideas. Such as "grandiose" - thinking that I am the most important being... My mentality names itself as "ret*d", "kook" etc. I am "afraid" of people who are not my lose family members. I am "afraid of life".

I have some sort of problems with formulating sentences. My mentality may be not so interested in socialisation, it does not bother about it. It is also not interested in job searching. It "wants" to be "absorbed" by "manias" (eompassing interests). I may feel as a hild, not as an adult ho is capable of job searhing and ocupational work, being in marriage and having children. I may be very irresponsible. Maybe next week will be more interesting to me (there probably still be heat wave in many parts of Poland which rather limits outdoor activities). My "mind" is happy because of long heat wave in my country.

Only an appropriately-trained mental-health professional can render a diagnosis that is both valid and official. None of the members here are qualified professionals in clinical diagnosis. If there are, then they would have to examine you in person, and under strictly controlled conditions. All that anyone else can do here is guess and speculate.

You should have included an option for "I don't know" in your lop-sided poll.

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with schizotypal disorder, but I have doubts about this diagnosis. I (at least practically) do not have inusual sensory experiences, I do not think that other people are talking about me... Maybe I have the ondition which is not described yet? My close family does not appear to have schizophrenia spectrum disorders for me. I have also doubts about my Asperger's diagnosis (official - from specialistic centre). "Typical" Aspie has obviously different traits and symptomatology than me in my opinion. Maybe my mental issues are associated with serious asymmetric hypotrophy on birth, not genes associated with schizophrenia or conditions belonging to one spectrum with Kanner's syndrome?

If you are questioning then probably not. Chronic schizophrenics do not even realize they have a problem without medication. Episodic sufferers have no doubt that they have demons. I have rebuilt my life more times then i can comfortably remember. What i do know is that i have been in the icu on total life support 4 times in 30 years. That is a measure of the depths of despair i had fallen to. I don't want to die, i don't want sympathy. What i do want is for armchair psychiatrists to stop thinking that they have the slightest idea of how devastating it is to know that you are not in control of your inner most thoughts. That even the question is offensive to those who have to deal with the despair. I envy the chronics because they do not understand how life should be. Sorry this came out as a rant. It's just one of my bottons.

An example of coinidences observed by me. I notice coincidences about second half of September 2014, about four months later I received diagnosis of schizotypal disorder. Many of coincidences was about Aspijkas (female Aspies).

3.8.2015 or 4.8.2015 - I watched a film about a black cat on FC Barcelona's football pitch. Earlier I watched another film on YouTube after writing "blak cat coincidence" in Google. After watching a film about "gato negro" (it means "black cat" in Spanish) on FC Barcelona's pitch, I watched a film about 10 "attacks" of animals in football. I remembered a fragment about an unpleasant incident during a football match in Panama. At some moment players felt on the ground. Fans also have problems because of the attack. I noticed the word which was spoken like [vehas] and I could suppose that it would mean "wasps" ([vehas] was for me somewhat similar to "wasps"), so I could think that it was an attack of wasps. 8.8.2015 - I found in the Internet that Spanish word for "wasp" is "avispa", which has not so similar pronunciation to [vehas]. So I searched about Spanish name of a similar insect - the bee. "Bee" is "abeja" in Spanish, its pronunciation is similar to [vehas], so it was an attack of bees. 8.8.2015 - I watched end of Polish television quiz show named "Familiada" about 2:20 p.m. in TV. Last question in the final was about calling an example of beautiful/nice insect (Polish: ładny owad). First person said "pszczoła" (bee), second said "osa" (wasp). "Bee" has 12 - 19 points (I do not remember how much), "wasp" has 6 points. They were not the most popular answers ("butterfly" (Polish: motyl) was the most popular answer). I could think that it was associated with me, with my wathing of "memorable" fragment about attack of bees in Panama during a football match at the beginning of last week. It may look for some people like an idea of reference.

8.8.2015 -my grandmother places before the window whih is very close to the computer a table, on the side which was "visible" form the chair near the computer there was a periodic table in which iron (Fe, atomic number 26) was clearly seen. At about noon I watched the program about iron on Discovery Science. About 7 p.m. I watched films about funny moments from TV quiz games on YouTube. One of the situation was about the vitamin responsible for blood coagulation. The aswer of the person who was asped was "iron", but iron is not a vitamin, but a (metallic) chemical element. So I had coincidnece about iron. I watched Discovery Science and Familiada when my sister used the computer. I think that without "lack of access" to the computer the coincidences about bees/wasps and iron would not happen or would be much "weaker".