PLEASE help, I need advice/whatever

Post Reply New Topic

So let me begin.

In July 2010 at the age of 12 I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Growing up I guess I did have "classic" Asperger syndrome symptoms. I was socially awkward but making friends wasn't a huge problem for me (social anxiety developed quickly though in middle school, but that had more to do with my hellish environment). I developed some repetitive movements and still do fiddle; may have had some rituals; definitely had some difficulties communicating but they weren't as bad as it usually said it is (again, middle school has much more to do with this). So I had some symptoms of Asperger syndrome (I was seemingly never hit with the coordination part though; I'm terribad at simple tasks though).

However, since I turned 14 I've been having a lot of symptoms that are much more like schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, etc. I love to jump around and get lost in fantasies; sometimes I completely delude myself that I'm living in the real world; I often imagine myself in positions I am not in; I often "adjust" the world to my kind of thinking; I have pretty bad mood swings; I'm susceptible to mental breakdowns and schizoaffective episodes; I often draw and write rather childish fantasies and delusions; I am an incredibly paranoid person as well. Overall, I straddle the line between Asperger syndrome and a schizotypal disorder.

So, I absolutely have no idea what I have. It seems I defy all classification with mental health, although officially I have Asperger syndrome. I'm not on any kind of medication (which is potentially dangerous), and I'm still in high school, which is an incredibly volatile and toxic environment for me and has caused issues before.

I need some advice. I'm scared of things balooning out of control. My family has absolutely no idea what's going on inside my brain and only believe it to be a case of Asperger syndrome. I might have some kind of MCDD. Regardless, having both characteristics of AS and Schizotype disorders has made my life a complete living hell.

Being "different" , - outcast in school. Is shamefully the way in which alot of the modern world is at the moment.

Soooo: Humans (parents) invent conditions for people that are being excluded.
Thankfully you say you have freinds: and I am guessing it is hard to stay "normal" around them.

In my personal experience...DO NOT loose your freinds (but if you do - oh well, you may find others)

Once your a school leaver this will be your hardest part in life: I reccomend to accept job placement as is, and to try and get it as soon as possible...fight the rat race and find a position: Don't become a couch potato.

Remmember that life can include overcoming obstacles (although alot of the population in the modern world no longer have too) - Try too look at overcoming the obstacles as the challenge that is fun in life.