Flirting - why?

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rdos
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14 Dec 2014, 12:03 pm

AngelRho wrote:

But, there you go…of course they're afraid of initiating what might appear strange and creepy. They are aware on some level of how threatening it is. No, there's no actual REASON to be afraid, which is my point. But people tend to have an instinctive response to it as an invasive threat. It's very animalistic. Someone invades your emotional territory and you immediately put your guard up. The response varies with the individual… They might get seriously upset over an unwanted advance. They might get creeped out. That's a "flight" response--avoid the threat. Or the person might stand his or her ground, responding with a challenge i.e. flirting back. It creates tension either way, and ideally this tension will manifest itself as sexual arousal.

I'm sure you are right about it all from an NT point of view. However, I'm not talking about invasive NT-type verbal flirting (which probably is closely related to cat-calling). I'm talking about a whole different thing that is nonverbal and non-sexual.

I still claim that people avoid it because of the "creepiness" factor and because they have no idea of how it works, not because of the possible threat.

To back that up I can give you some stories where I have played this game with much younger, beautiful women that I had otherwise had no chance to get any attention from. The only realistic reason why they participated was that they did it because they acted naturally, and didn't evaluate what happened consciously. The threat-factor was non-existent as in several cases this repeated itself many times, and they certainly had the option to ignore the whole thing but they didn't. In fact, if it had triggered their fight-and-flight response they would have ignored the whole thing, but instead they participated in the game every time we met.

AngelRho wrote:

Either way, it's just a big, dumb mating ritual. It's a game. Not a zero-sum game, but a game in which hopefully all parties involved end up winning.

Sure, it is a game. A very rewarding game though.

MetalFist
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14 Dec 2014, 10:39 pm

Sometimes, i can't even tell if that person that flirting with me is serious or just doing it for the fun of it.

I got pseudo flirted by a girl in my college class before. After she done all that in class, i asked her after class if she liked me or something. Then of course, she fooled me. So i was left empty handed.

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auntblabby
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14 Dec 2014, 10:41 pm

MetalFist wrote:

it's best to leave headgame players like that to their own devices. let their karma catch up to them.

MetalFist
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14 Dec 2014, 10:48 pm

auntblabby wrote:

MetalFist wrote:

it's best to leave headgame players like that to their own devices. let their karma catch up to them.

This! That's my own mindset now.

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auntblabby
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14 Dec 2014, 10:53 pm

MetalFist wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

MetalFist wrote:

it's best to leave headgame players like that to their own devices. let their karma catch up to them.

This! That's my own mindset now.

YAY

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