Why don't people want to be friends first?

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rdos
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28 Jan 2015, 10:24 am

ahuffman1984 wrote:
I am currently in the beginnings of a relationship with a female friend that I have known for about 4 years, but it was rather obvious throughout that we liked each other.


That's another thing altogether. That's not a traditional friendship, rather an attachment that you couldn't explore due to being in another (monogamous) relationship.



rdos
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28 Jan 2015, 10:27 am

Jono wrote:
People can marry simply for the companionship, it's not only about having children.


Sure, but then they need to have discussed and accepted this before getting married.



ahuffman1984
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28 Jan 2015, 10:30 am

rdos wrote:
Jono wrote:
People can marry simply for the companionship, it's not only about having children.


Sure, but then they need to have discussed and accepted this before getting married.


Absolutely, this is the exact reason that my current gf and I are on the way out after 6.5 years. She decided she did not want kids period and I do. That just won't work long term imo.



nomoretears
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28 Jan 2015, 10:33 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
So what if somebody wants to "get into your pants?"

That's the whole idea, really.

However, if a person finds that "special someone," it is fairly frequent that this person has the patience to wait months or years before any consummation. They look at that person as their friend, as well as their (future) lover. I don't see the problem with that.

It's called being civilized, while still wanting to "get into each others pants."


For me, if I want a friendship, i want a friendship. If I want the sexual tension, i date. I don't befriend men I'd be remotely sexually interested in.