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SteelMaiden
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12 Dec 2014, 10:51 am

I am "ostensibly autistic" according to a friend. I've been diagnosed high functioning due to my high IQ, but I am not really that high functioning. I get called "f***ing spastic", "sh*tface", "ret*d" by youths in my area, they seem to be able to detect that I'm very different but they know nothing of the truth.

I had a psychiatrist try to diagnose with with emotionally unstable personality disorder and ignored my autism diagnosis after one session when I had a meltdown for various reasons. My current (very good) psychiatrist says that I am absolutely not EUPD and that my autism diagnosis makes a lot of sense.

My current professionals understand well that I am autistic, but my mum thinks autism is an illness that needs to be cured, and that I can overcome my autism by "putting in some effort".

It's the general public out there that don't understand that when I start screaming or exhibiting challenging behaviour, that I am not "f***ed up" / "weird" / need to be kept away from their children etc, I am autistic and I am born that way so deal with it.

It's hard enough dealing with cuts, bruises and broken household items from meltdowns. Let alone other people telling me to "stop acting like a brat".


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Paukipaul
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12 Dec 2014, 11:10 am

jetbuilder wrote:
I've only had one person flat out reject the idea the I'm on the spectrum. His reaction was quite an intense denial that I may be autistic. "Oh, f*** that!...." He apologized for his initial reaction, but hasn't really acknowledged my diagnosis.




I had the same experiece with a friend.

He basically told me I was stealing the "real autists" time slots when I was diagnosed. He is in total denial, and - well, I am tired of arguing with him. i simply don't talk over it.



shimmermtl
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13 Dec 2014, 9:31 am

It happened to me, just last night, at an office Christmas party. I was outside, having a cigarette; feeling very grateful to be away from the crowd and senseless, mind-numbing noise inside. A couple of my colleagues joined me and asked what was wrong. I mentioned having difficulty with crowds and the conversation soon moved to my admission of being a high-functioning autistic (self-diagnosed). One of my colleagues immediately said, "Oh no, you're not autistic." I immediately became enraged, and it was all I could do not to blast her (already at the limit of my self-control due to the Christmas party).

She said it with such authority - like she knows me better than I do? I mean; really?? - NT's only know a stereotyped version of an autistic person.

I completely get your need to rant. :twisted:



androbot01
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13 Dec 2014, 10:29 am

Several people to whom I have disclosed have told me that they don't think I have autism. I can't imagine people reacting that way to the disclosure of any other illness. "You don't have Parkinson's." - No one would think of saying such a thing.
I saw a psychiatrist in August for a check-up and he indicated that diagnosis of autism is based on observed behaviour and anecdote. There is no definitive test for it. So to him my ability to mask my autism meant that I wasn't as autistic as I once was. How bizarre is that? I still experience the world as I always have. My acting skills don't change that. It's almost like my experience is irrelevant, it's others judgement of me that counts. I don't like my experience of the world to be defined by other people's perception of me.



eleventhirtytwo
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13 Dec 2014, 3:06 pm

It annoyed me when I was having trouble in university (as a result of external stressors), and one of my lecturers acted as if I was putting it all on along with my disabilities. Same lecturer is behind me being moved to a part-time course, because it would be "less stress" even though part time courses don't get the same financial support and I come from a low income family... To clarify, I wasn't a bad student. There were modules were I was the top ranking student, getting percentages in the 80's and 90's (only 70% is required for a first degree).

While I do have a business, it wasn't yet prepared for trying to bring in the income I need, and my cashflow was ruined for most of the year because of a customer in Australia who decided to see what he could get away with in terms of using me...

I now find myself with no money, not enough time for my degree, stuck at home with a very demanding family (who I love) and trying to work myself back into the clear while HMRC takes the occasional pot shot at me for being a small business without an accountant.

At one stage I had a bit of a mental breakdown as a result... Back to my optimistic self though, and planning to try and find employment elsewhere and putting my own business on ice for a while. Which is a shame, as I had been planning to try and do some journalism and had got a very nice video camera for that purpose earlier in the year. I might now have to sell it to pay my bills, although I can't bring myself to do it as it would feel like selling my dream/hope. It's full broadcast quality =)

To add insult to injury, when I finally stood up to said Australian client they had the cheek to suggest I refund them when they still owe me nearly £1000.


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elkclan
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13 Dec 2014, 3:37 pm

Some people are just 'like that'. My mother doesn't believe in any illness that she's never had. She once tried to hold a mental health intervention for me when I had the flu. She's clinically depressed, she thinks any illness is depression. She doesn't believe that mono exists, for example.

I think there's also a big confusion around Aspergers v Autism - when I was growing up I thought autism was non-verbal or barely verbal. You can't expect people to be experts. It's annoying, but unless they're in a position of power over you, best to just shrug it off if you can.



r84shi37
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13 Dec 2014, 7:10 pm

I know where you're coming from. My mother firmly believes I have AS and my father firmly believes I don't have AS. I'm on the fence... suspicious sure, but perhaps I do not. I don't discuss it with either of them. One time I told my friend of my suspicions and he said that since I'm so different from his cousin who has AS, there's no way I have AS. That was a little annoying since it was so presumptuous, but it quickly taught me to keep it all to myself.

At the end of the day though, I don't really care much either way of what others think. I also don't care if people use ret*d or even autistic as an insult... even I do on occasion :? . I just don't think it matters that much and I sort of think everyone would be happier if people took their emotions less seriously. Emotions cloud judgement.


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StarTrekker
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14 Dec 2014, 3:30 am

Of all the people I've told about my AS (both pre and post diagnosis) only one person thought I didn't have it. One of my friends knew I was different and didn't fit in, but thought it was a combination of introversion, high sensitivitiy, and a history of emotional trauma. He said he didn't think I had AS because I didn't shrink away when he held my hands. As long as it's specific, there are many kinds of human touch I greatly enjoy. I just didn't bring it up with him again.


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r2d2
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14 Dec 2014, 3:47 am

I think it might be good to remember that in some cases a person who says that is trying to be nice. Because many people would think it an insult to suggest someone is autistic. Some might think that they are being kind and reassuring - like they're saying - "You're just as normal as anybody else. In a world where it is considered good to be normal and bad to bee abnormal- they may think they're being supporting.


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Edna3362
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14 Dec 2014, 4:32 am

Most people here thinks that I'm just an odd ball who needs to get over it. A very few ended up spotting me, and sometimes, I'm rather glad they do. But I guess my hiding skills are getting rusty. Most of them NEVER do the things of the following:

If one ended up knowing my diagnosis, they'll treat me like a child, they go too easy on me. They'll kept patronizing me for it. If not being treated like a child, I'll be treated like a crap.

And if they're skeptical about it, they either go passive-aggressive at me, saying certain things within my earshot. Especially the term "special treatment" because, like I said, some people go too easy on me. Or they question me about it, which it fails because they don't understand my explanations, ends up assuming I'm just a trying hard anti-conformist who wanted attention.


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Jensen
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14 Dec 2014, 5:23 am

Yeah...sometimes.....and sometimes I doubt it myself. I scored good on IQ and that should be why I compensate well, so I don´t come of as AS/autistic. My neighbour and good friend never gets tired of telling me how different, I am, but I suspect, that it is his way of finding out about himself. He is rather ADHD´ish (he knows that) and has quite a few autistic behaviors (he doesn´t know that).

Yes, everyone feels the same once in a while and I don´t know, what I feel "all of the time", because I´ve never been anyone else but me.
The fact is, that I am often surprised by "NT" thinking - of social reasoning and "they" seem to be surprised by me.

My family would probably have said: A-HAAA! and my mom would have been very interested, as she struggled all the time to find out, what she was herself. The family would have said "A-HAA! to that too.
My dad would probably have chosen to do like the ostrich. Him and all his stims, his organizing in rows, his tactile sensitivity and his withdrawal.


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Andrejake
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14 Dec 2014, 8:18 am

I haven't talked about it with too many people and only two persons denied it. Although it can be irritating when someone do this i understood after a while that sometimes they weren't trying to say that i was lying and just had a bad stereotype for what an autistic person would be like.



franknfurter
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14 Dec 2014, 9:50 am

Apart from my immediate family no one else in my family really cares that much, which suites me fine.

As for my immediate family, it took about a year to convince them that I had it and getting a diagnosis was necessary, but after that they accepted it well enough and said it explained an awful lot.

I have doubts about managing to get people to believe it in terms of friends though.