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Frankie420
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11 Dec 2014, 7:55 pm

Do friends/family members deny you having autism? Or say your too smart to have it? Einstien had a high iq but had HFA, how come autism is on the rise but so many individuals dont fully understand it, im also tired of people making autism jokes, "like an autistic guy" "nonstop spinning like a ret*d autistic", people are ignorant, what do you think?


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slenkar
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11 Dec 2014, 8:15 pm

A lot of people deny A.D.D exists
Aspergers too.
Maybe time will change things



Longstoneman
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11 Dec 2014, 8:22 pm

The jokes are prejudiced, in the same way telling a racist or sexist joke would be.

As for people denying I have it, yes! A lot of people say that what I feel is something felt by everyone at some stage. That may well be the case, but I feel like it ALL the time.



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11 Dec 2014, 8:41 pm

People are ignorant about AS and ASD. So was I before I started really reading about it from people who have it(not the cold, stereotypical diagnostic stuff and things written by those who don't have it) and learning about it.

My mom wasn't very convinced when I first talked to her about it but now she seems to be more open to it. She herself has a LOT of traits and we were talking recently about it and she said that she identified with some of what I was telling her. I don't know if she has done anymore research. Both she and my sister agree with me that my father has it and so does he. He is taking much better care of himself now and the guy he lives with is now coaching him on social cues and things.

Anyway, I am sorry your family isn't supporting you or learning about this in an open way. I know that was very hurtful to me at first. This is a very serious and life-shaking thing to learn about.



Jezebel
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12 Dec 2014, 12:06 am

Oh definitely. When I first brought the topic up with my mother (she then proceeded to tell my brother), I was basically told that it was impossible for an autistic person to be in the family. That's how I took it, anyway. :roll:

It's probably important to note in Einstein's case, it's impossible to determine any such diagnosis or his IQ. Both of those are two things people like to claim to know about for sure, but neither of those can ever be determined because he was never tested.


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LokiofSassgard
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12 Dec 2014, 12:08 am

I've had a couple people tell me that I didn't seem autistic. I don't think they meant to deny it though. People don't see it because I'm on the mild end of the spectrum. I've worked a lot on my social skills, even when they can be quite awkward and such.


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badgerface
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12 Dec 2014, 4:27 am

I had a former work colleague I got on quite well with, never socialised with, but several years after working together still chatted casually via FaceBook, WhatsApp etc about silly things and joking about people we used to work with etc.

He casually asked once why I wouldn't be doing anything to celebrate my Birthday that year, why I wasn't at least going out for a few drinks; I replied that I hated that sort of thing, tried to move on but he kept asking. I responded with a Wikipedia link to the description of Asperger's. He laughed it off, saying that it (and other medical conditions like ADHD) were all made up and just an excuse to justify moody and bad behaviour.

I managed to change the subject to Movies, and then I found out he didn't like Lord of the Rings. So, he was deleted and blocked 8O


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886
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12 Dec 2014, 5:26 am

It depends on one's knowledge of autism. Most people who know nothing of autism only understand autism as someone they went to high school with who was the kid who never spoke and moved his hands around a lot. So if you appear high functioning, you're assumed to not have autism. That's unfortunately the general perception of autism and most of us who experience autism on a daily basis know that just isn't true. If I told people I work with I'm autistic (they don't know) they'd be completely lost.

I guess denying it is another thing if people close to you claim you're normal and it's all in your head, I'm not sure which direction you were going at with this post.


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r2d2
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12 Dec 2014, 5:33 am

The absolute worst comment I have heard and some people here have reported that there are mental health "professionals" who have said it - "You can't be on the autism spectrum because you care about others and because you're too nice." There seems to be a very common myth that people on the Spectrum are incapable of caring or feeling for anyone else except themselves. Now I will concede that considering that the word autism means self+ism= selfism that there is a self-centered self-absorbed side to autism - but not the way many - perhaps most people think it. It's like they think autistics are just mild sociopaths. Nothing could be farther from the truth.


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886
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12 Dec 2014, 5:44 am

r2d2 wrote:
The absolute worst comment I have heard and some people here have reported that there are mental health "professionals" who have said it - "You can't be on the autism spectrum because you care about others and because you're too nice." There seems to be a very common myth that people on the Spectrum are incapable of caring or feeling for anyone else except themselves. Now I will concede that considering that the word autism means self+ism= selfism that there is a self-centered self-absorbed side to autism - but not the way many - perhaps most people think it. It's like they think autistics are just mild sociopaths. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

There are so many mental health professionals who have a very poor understanding of autism it's just ridiculous. There's probably a good reason that autism specialists and mental health professionals are usually 2 separate entities..

A lot of autistic people I've known care too much and are too nice.. and just get overloaded with empathetic feelings towards others. It's just a matter of expressing said feelings and exercising empathy where most struggle.


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Princess Adora
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12 Dec 2014, 6:14 am

Well since I Only recently found out about this I haven't told hardly anyone about it except for a very small handful and I have yet to experience someone being in full denial about it,however I did tell my mum when I found out but i don't think she even knows what I'm talking about even though my older brother has autism but she did tell me that her boyfriend says I act normal so maybe that's a bit of ignorance about how autistic people are suppose to act.



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12 Dec 2014, 6:29 am

Yes that happens to me, people keep telling me that I'm not and that its not possible that I am.



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12 Dec 2014, 7:20 am

Frankie420 wrote:
... Einstien had a high iq but had HFA...
Evidence, please? Something other than, "It's obvious that he had an ASD", "Everyone knows", "I read it somewhere", or "Prove that he didn't".

Frankie420 wrote:
... what do you think?
I think that autism denial and bigoted comments against people with ASDs are as bad as claiming that a famous dead person had an ASD when they were never officially diagnosed with an ASD in their lifetime.


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Greenhat
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12 Dec 2014, 7:29 am

People at my IEP meetings sometimes insisted that my grades were too good for me to have AS or need accomodations.



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12 Dec 2014, 7:50 am

I've only had one person flat out reject the idea the I'm on the spectrum. His reaction was quite an intense denial that I may be autistic. "Oh, f*** that!...." He apologized for his initial reaction, but hasn't really acknowledged my diagnosis.

Everyone else I told about my suspicions (before I got my Dx) were were, for the most part, positive. Several people had to do some reading before they started to agree with me. Others said either they aren't surprised, or they had suspected it for a while.


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gamerdad
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12 Dec 2014, 8:58 am

r2d2 wrote:
The absolute worst comment I have heard and some people here have reported that there are mental health "professionals" who have said it - "You can't be on the autism spectrum because you care about others and because you're too nice." There seems to be a very common myth that people on the Spectrum are incapable of caring or feeling for anyone else except themselves. Now I will concede that considering that the word autism means self+ism= selfism that there is a self-centered self-absorbed side to autism - but not the way many - perhaps most people think it. It's like they think autistics are just mild sociopaths. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

I had a therapist tell me something very similar. I was telling him about an issue I had with my wife, and he replied, "someone who's really on the spectrum wouldn't even worry about how she felt."

In response to OP, the more often thing that I seem to run into is people trying to minimize it. They don't really know enough about autism to outright deny it, so they make comments like "obviously it's really mild for you" or "you must be really high functioning".

The frustrating thing is, these are all comments that are really hard to argue with for me, because they're all thoughts I've struggled with myself from time to time. But where I've spent months of introspection and in professional counseling wrestling with that self doubt to finally come to a place where I've comfortable disclosing this to other people, they're just spouting off an ignorance, and it's incredibly aggravating to have to engage them on that level.