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Why is my Aspie boyfriend acting this way? NEED help :(

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Cafeaulait
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18 Dec 2014, 8:13 am

886 wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
Vomelche wrote:
He sounds like a commitment phobe. It's up to you if you want to deal with this problem.


Do commitment phobes really exist or is it just a matter of not having met de right girl?
I dated a guy for a few months. We were monogamous but when I asked him wether we were in relationship he said that he didn't want one. He went through a period of depression a few months before he met me, had just broken up with his ex who stalked him and was under huge pressure to pass all of his exams. He said he was a commitment o phobe and that I had nothing to do with me. I don't believe that. Doesn't the right person always change even the most phobic person?


I think most people just use other people and think of every psychological loophole they can to justify using women for their own self esteem issues and sexual needs. Or some people just don't want to have the burden of having to cater to someone else's needs, aka, too selfish. I could be cynical. :|


Yes, I get what you mean. I am really really really afraid if being used for a guys self esteem. I want someone to take care of my needs, just as I take care of their needs. Just a sweet boyfriend who listens and likes me the way I am. I really hate it that so many people just use others for their own self esteem.



Dantac
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19 Dec 2014, 2:36 pm

SweetieBlonde22 wrote:
. Why has be done this? and why is he acting this way? Was I just used as a computer fling?


That's terrible to hear. It does seem he wants the comfort of 'having' a girlfriend but doesn't want to man up and be YOUR boyfriend (or husband).

You need to ask yourself if you truly think you have a future with someone like this. Words mean nothing, actions speak. What are his actions telling you?

I'm in Orlando. If you're in my town and need any info (places to shop, restaurants, etc) feel free to PM me.



NoGyroApproach
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20 Dec 2014, 12:57 pm

I am really sorry for your situation. I find that the most successful relationships (aspergers or neurotypical) start when both people can manage their own lives and have a good understanding of themselves before entering into a partnership. From your description of him, he does not sound very independent.

To be honest, it does not sound like you are a very independent person either.

Being that you both live with your parents and things are the way they are, maybe you two and your parents can all sit down together and talk this thing out. It sounds like right now there is a huge unknown about the present and future plans for your relationship.


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