The Never-Had-A-Bf/Gf Red Flag

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That's right! It's unfair, it's a double standard, but whining about it clearly does not work. If you are male and you assert your victim status or play the victim olympics game, people(read WOMEN) are going to think you're a loser. Women expect a lot more from men than we men expect from them. A big part of the problem is that women are insecure and they look for things in men that they themselves lack.

The thing to do if you're a guy and you are a virgin is to lie about it. If you manage to sleep with the girl, then afterwards you can admit that she's your first. I also think that men admitting weakness and expressing legitimate grievances really bothers women because they think they're entitled to a monopoly on sympathy and attention. My ex-gf was totally like this.

That's a bit of an unfair generalisation, don't you think. I was talking about a trend that I noticed on WP, not trying to incite misogyny.

And no, I'm not going to lie about something like that, I don't really care what other people think nor have I ever really played the "victim card". Complaining about being single is not really the same thing as playing "victim", it just means that you're unhappy about being single. Calling yourself a "victim" because of it, on the other hand, is more and indication of entitlement.

^Doesn't matter.

If a man whines about anything, women will consider him a loser. Even if he has a right to whine. Complaining falls under whining, unfortunately.

And Lazar, I hate to say, is totally right. That's why so many relationships are lopsided. Women do seem to want what they lack from men. I've noticed this myself, and it's a reason why there are many men who will only have their hand as their companion.

It's not misogyny to point this out. It would be misogyny if he said "I hate women for doing that." You have to explicitly mention that you hate women in order for it to be misogyny. It sounded more like frustration at how society is, rather than woman-hate.

Well Jono, this trend is hardly unique to WP. In fact, I've observed for the last 10-15 years or so that it is quite pervasive both on internet forums and IRL(in my country, that is. IDK about yours). Keep in mind that WP is crawling with neurotypicals masquerading as Aspies, especially in the Love & Dating forum, because they enjoy trolling us to feel intelligent.

To point out that certain social standards are favorable to women and unfavorable to men is hardly misogyny(the hatred of women). It's just stating the facts. If it's politically incorrect to point that out, too bad.




Fair enough. And you are absolutely right that calling oneself a "victim" is an indication of entitlement. And for the last 25 years of my life I've encountered so many women calling themselves victims and acting like victims that it's clear that a lot of American women really do have a sense of entitlement. Because really and truly, entitlement is purely a social construct that has no basis in the framework of the external reality in which we live. Saying that someone has a sense of entitlement usually implies that said person presumes to have certain social privileges which society does not allow them to have.

[MODERATOR WARNING]

Knock-it-off with the sweeping negative generalizations of the opposite sex.

Thanks.

[MODERATOR WARNING]

Where's the sweeping negative generalization?

I already pointed out that Laza_Kaganovich made a sweeping generalisation in his first response to me and he responded with another sweeping generalisation.

So the author is a social being, probably attractive, dating experience, 27, no relationship. How isn't it a red flag? Unless all these people she's dating and screwing around with are genuinely just not the right person for her.. it just screams "I don't know what I want so I use everyone I meet." 27 is an advanced age to be that experienced, single, and not sure what they want.

I'm not one to judge though, I'd be a hypocrite - I'm going on 25 and my dating experience is very limited, but it's my own fault. I don't put myself out there and I don't make any moves to date anyone, ever. (Yay social anxiety!) but, I have a good grasp on what I want from a partner, and I don't have the desire to use someone to try to figure it out, or use someone to fill a void in my life. And to me, it seems like the author, and many others in her situation, probably do. It'd be hard to trust that person and I would want to move slow, but I couldn't see it going anywhere.

He said nothing wrong, one problem is on this forum, that some users are too sensitives about some gender-related true generalization. As he said, pointing that certain social standards are favorable to women and unfavorable to men is NOT misogyny(the hatred of women) nor vice versa is misandry.

Yes, he's right, women expect from men more than that what men expect from women.

And yes, he's right, women AND men are less likely to show much sympathy toward a guy complaining vs than toward a girl complaining about the same thing - just compare the threads there, I have pointed out in brian's thread how users reacted to him vs how they reacted to a female user who was complaining about the same thing.

I'm not debating this.

We can either tone dpwn the negative generalizations, or this topic is going in the trash.

Find someone with BPD and lie about your virginity. Girls (or boys, for those who are into that) with BPD spread their legs more easily, particularly if it's "that other" time of the month.

In any case, acting like a victim isn't going to help. Don't listen to any of that bullsh-t on how you "just have to be yourself" and then a girl will magically fall from the sky and land on your d-ck when you least expect it.

Last edited by Kurgan on 29 Jan 2015, 9:20 am, edited 2 times in total.

^ Kurgan, we have a mod watching with some kind of heavy machine gun eager to use it anytime ....so tone it down.

But I am still not seeing why saying women expect more from men is seen as negative, generalization maybe, but why negative? Weird.

Ha! That made me laugh!

Are you talking about Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorder? If you're talking about the former, then that behavior is certainly well documented in bipolar people. Now I know very little about men with Borderline as it is wayyyyyyyyyyy more common in women but impulsive behavior and sexual promiscuity are extremely common. But in the case of Borderline, you have to keep in mind that plenty of women with these mental illnesses have A-LOT of sexual experience and if you have none, that is going to be off putting to them. And not necessarily because of an assumption that there's something really repulsive about you that prevents you from getting laid, but because they will have to be a lot more patient with you and give you instructions on what to do in order for them to be satisfied. If you're looking to lose your virginity that does not involve bartering for sex, find someone else who is almost in the same boat.

That's really predatory and ableist.. and all around terrible advice