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Vomelche
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18 Dec 2014, 10:22 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
What do you mean "making innuendo and then winking at you"? What would be an example? Sounds way too forward to be genuine flirting, but more like mucking around and trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe you reacted by blushing or looking uncomfortable so that's why she sees you as an "innocent boy".

Don't pursue her. She is patronising you and relationships don't (or at least shouldn't!) start on uneven footing like that. Go to the improv thing tonight if you were going to anyway, but not if you were going just because she is.


True. This is more like immature or tease flirting. Not that there is anything really wrong with it though, and she still finds you a little attractive.



Vomelche
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18 Dec 2014, 10:26 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Not yet. I'm trying to work out if it would be too fast or if I'm too slow. So far she's only written to me with bizzare animal facts (her idea). I'm not sure if she's uninterested in me or waiting for me take initiative.

She must've seen something in me since she contacted me first.

"I'm enjoying our chat. Would you be interested in meeting up to chat about some other stuff as well? :)"

Just dooo eeeeet :P


Yup, I'd say its the perfect time.



RetroGamer87
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18 Dec 2014, 10:58 am

The perfect time? I already asked her out yesterday. She said maybe (when she's back on dry land of course).


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yellowtamarin
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18 Dec 2014, 7:04 pm

Maybe?? What the hell are people doing chatting to other people on dating sites if they don't even know if they want to meet up? :roll:



Vomelche
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20 Dec 2014, 1:24 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
The perfect time? I already asked her out yesterday. She said maybe (when she's back on dry land of course).


I've had one person say maybe at first. A week later we went on a first date. Some people need time to sort things out before meeting someone new.



RetroGamer87
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21 Dec 2014, 12:33 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Maybe?? What the hell are people doing chatting to other people on dating sites if they don't even know if they want to meet up? :roll:
Yeah, I've gotten that a fair few times. From girls who complained about social anxiety to girls who complained "why do these guys join a dating site if they don't want to talk to me?" and then didn't want to meet up.

Even though in some ways this girl seems to be in to me (she made contact with me) she did seem to be a bit reluctant (she made some bizarre excuse about not being able to carry on a conversation without Google :roll: I I guess she doesn't have a smartphone). She actually does like looking stuff up and talking about it. I could suggest that without internet access we could talk about us but actually that doesn't always go well for me (ends up feeling like a job interview) so maybe I should bring my netbook :)

That might sound unromantic but she may not be the romantic type. She said she's never had a serious relationship and she seems to be less the romantic type and more the geek girl type (not that there's anything wrong with geek girls). I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised since when I was writing a new profile and it asked what type of girl I was seeking I wrote "geek girls or girls who like geek guys". I'm not sure if her being reluctant to meet up away from internet access was her way of saying she may not be into me or if she's so geeky she actually meant it (not that there's anything wrong with geek girls).

Maybe she meant it literally but I can't help but think of how many girls, when asked out by a guy they're not into will make up some excuse rather than say they're not into the guy. Is this bad because it's dishonest or good because it least the guy gets let down gently? When most people set up a first date they often seem to use a lot of metaphor anyway. Often I'll try to say one thing and the girl will think I mean another thing.
Vomelche wrote:
I've had one person say maybe at first. A week later we went on a first date. Some people need time to sort things out before meeting someone new.

In her defense I think she has a valid reason for waiting a few weeks. I don't think she'll be able to date me until she gets back to dry land first. And if she doesn't want to decide until she gets back to shore I guess that's her prerogative.


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SadButRad
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22 Dec 2014, 5:32 am

alot of the time people are just friendly. But if you make a move and they pull away then you know what their real game is!



RetroGamer87
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22 Dec 2014, 4:45 pm

Maybe. She's gone silent. I'm not sure if that's because she's just waiting to get back to shore to confirm or deny our meeting or if it's because she's lost interest. Maybe I should remind her that I exist but if there's one lesson I learned growing up it's that asking the same question over and over again won't get you a positive answer and I already asked her once.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Dec 2014, 4:56 pm

Do you know her "special interest?"

If you do, I would email her something useful which pertains to the "special interest."

This would open up the lines of communication more than even asking her out. I used to fall into the trap of constantly asking girls out, pleading with them almost. They almost invariably disappeared as a result.

Send her this material would place your "friendship" on more of a substantive basis as well, IMHO. It would show you have the ability to go beyond "the person" (meaning her).



RetroGamer87
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22 Dec 2014, 6:39 pm

That could work. Most of our conversations have already been about her special interest anyway.


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