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Moronerd
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21 Dec 2014, 8:36 pm

When I was diagnosed as being paranoid schizophrenic by at least two doctors, I was somewhat surprised. Even the first time it was mentioned by a doctor who'd been seeing me for some time, when psychosis wormed its way into the conversation I was somewhat blown away. I know I have disorganized thoughts, tend to jump to conclusions, and have certain beliefs about myself and others that are rather fixed. But I'm sure the same could be said of many people who aren't diagnosed or manage to function perfectly well. Also I'm compelled by crippling fears everyday. It used to be the worst I had to worry about was embarrassment. Now I have real concerns that there may be individuals out to destroy or kill me, or communally hound/stalk me to the point of self-destruction.

Could it have been the medication that made me that way? Being treated for embarrassment is one thing, but after spending about a year off the medication, I started getting these hunches that someone in particular was spying on me, and sharing the surveillance with other people, then it got to the point where I believe and still do, that someone in my family desires my death, and has taken steps toward arranging it.

Anyways, sometimes I just think I suffer from clinical stupidity or self-centeredness more than schizophrenia.

Do any other schizophrenics around here lack hallucinations of any kind? I've never had any kind of hallucination, auditory or visual, and yet the label of psychosis still sticks. This is another source of paranoia as I'm worried at times that the doctors are either using me or a party to a conspiracy to driving me under. I know this is rather a narcissistic view, but it doesn't help to acknowledge that. The way it manifests doesn't really flatter me, anyways.

Thanks for reading this far, I just needed to get a bit of pressure off my chest.

P.S. I've been taking my medication pretty steadily these days, so no need to worry on that account. It helps with the bouts of rage I used to suffer, so it's another reason to take them. Back before I was hospitalized and put back on meds, I suffered from bouts of anger, that I tried to endure through various methods with limited success. Anyway, I've babbled enough for now. Good night all.



jAlw
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23 Dec 2014, 3:46 pm

I actually think there part of - the docs that is - the delusions themselves. As everything in the brain is electrical, pain gets sent as electrical signals to the brain, the visions we see in reality are signals sent to the brain through sense gates. That's why people say '0GET HELP NOW!',when someone starts to - in their behaviour - exhibit signs of psychosis or schprhenia. Some people can live normal lives if they have the 'complete knowledge' so to say. Knowledge is needed to overcome it.



Pizzagal3000
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25 Dec 2014, 4:13 pm

I have also been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia during the worst nervous breakdown I have ever suffered through in the year 2010 that seemed to last an eternity.

I believe as humans we may have any number of "oddities" to us that may be a signal of an even bigger issue or the real cause of the troubling symptom at hand.

Unfortunately, tons of medical professionals misdiagnose or give out too simple of a diagnosis that doesn't include the whole scope of the "disorder(s)" the person has.

So yeah. I feel ya on that. Glad you have improved though. Keep following the advice of your doctors and stick with them. If you start getting led astray even a little bit, you run the risk of getting "lost." So "stick to your guns,"(keep doing what you are doing) please.


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jAlw
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27 Dec 2014, 1:00 pm

Pizzagal3000 wrote:
I have also been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia during the worst nervous breakdown I have ever suffered through in the year 2010 that seemed to last an eternity.

I believe as humans we may have any number of "oddities" to us that may be a signal of an even bigger issue or the real cause of the troubling symptom at hand.

Unfortunately, tons of medical professionals misdiagnose or give out too simple of a diagnosis that doesn't include the whole scope of the "disorder(s)" the person has.

So yeah. I feel ya on that. Glad you have improved though. Keep following the advice of your doctors and stick with them. If you start getting led astray even a little bit, you run the risk of getting "lost." So "stick to your guns,"(keep doing what you are doing) please.


Sorry to hijack the thread but what was that like in 2010 with the paranoid stuff you had? You said it was the worst thing, can you describe some of the symptoms if it isn't too painful.



Moronerd
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27 Dec 2014, 6:39 pm

jAlw wrote:
I actually think there part of - the docs that is - the delusions themselves. As everything in the brain is electrical, pain gets sent as electrical signals to the brain, the visions we see in reality are signals sent to the brain through sense gates. That's why people say '0GET HELP NOW!',when someone starts to - in their behaviour - exhibit signs of psychosis or schprhenia. Some people can live normal lives if they have the 'complete knowledge' so to say. Knowledge is needed to overcome it.


The problem with 'complete knowledge' is that I'm never able to separate what may be true from what is true. I don't really understand how one would go about getting complete knowledge. I suspect it would involve spying or getting into someone else's business, which isn't something I'm willing to do. I think what may be needed in my case to get working/functioning again is to go about things, despite the fears that nag me.

Pizzagal3000: Thanks for the encouragement, and sharing. I know we can get better if we put in effort. Getting out of our individual ditches takes a lot though, especially when I've grown accustomed to leaving employers in the lurch based on fearful hunches, and depression/self-loathing can be a comfortable feeling. But I need to do something everyday toward fixing that, easier said than done.



Lockig92
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06 Jan 2015, 8:51 pm

I'm another person who's been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I'm now enjoying the unrepentant freedom of my un-medicated madness. No, not really. I do believe that I had an incredibly bad "nervous breakdown" of sorts, where I lost a grip on reality, but I have a ginormous chip on my shoulder about the flexibility afforded to psychiatrists where it concerns diagnosing patients with psychosis. In my mind, it only represents the circular nature of psychiatry, whereby every human concern, attribute, and distinct personality trait is liable to become a symptom. This in itself is confusing. If people are to know they are ill, they deserve some clear cut answers at the very least. Not, oh that's a symptom, oh no it's not, that's your illness, oh maybe it isn't.

It is also self serving in the sense that the psychiatrist is absolved of all guilt or unable to be reprimanded as 1) Psychiatric patients are easy to blame for the doctors poor diagnostic skills and 2) Nobody ever seems to question the almighty judgement of the doctors or the adversarial system (unless of course you are me, in which case you run a risk of being brutally and forcibly medicated whilst inpatient, and whilst I simultaneously was staging a protest against having my body and mind violated etc etc). I didn't win by the way.

For a diagnosis of schizophrenia to be made (and I think here in the UK the paranoid sub-type has been done away with) there needs to be "positive" and "negative" symptoms present. Positive symptoms are characterised by delusions, and hallucinations. Without hallucinations, I'd very much doubt a diagnosis of schizophrenia could be made with any accuracy. Perhaps psychosis might be an accurate diagnosis for you, but a good doctor always puts complaints and suspicions from the patient in a relevant context (takes into consideration their "life triggers" and their personality which could just be their natural disposition) and then assesses whether their thoughts/feelings are entirely impossible, irrational, or otherwise bizarre.

The degree to which the hallucinations or delusions affect the persons life and tip the balance of risk to low or high, are also relevant. After all, problems really only need to be addressed if they are real problems. I.e. if I believed I was going to be murdered by my Mother and revealed to the psychiatrist that I was planning on killing her before she killed me - that would really send their risk aversion into orbit, and understandably so.

Oh, and to further answer your question, yes the medication can cause psychosis. If it was an anti-psychotic you were taking (I'm presuming it was) then psychosis is listed as a possible side effect. Also, not tapering off the medication slowly enough can cause withdrawal effects that mimic psychosis.

I would ask for a second opinion on your condition with a more thorough and understanding psychiatrist. (Not to mention finding one who knows the difference between paranoia and paranoid schizophrenia).



Lockig92
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06 Jan 2015, 9:23 pm

Sorry, where I said in brackets "personality which could just be their natural disposition" - I should have written "individual quirks or eccentricities which are likely to be part of their disposition, and not a so called illness".

It's late and I'm tired.