Need help "internalizing" my Aspergers

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ProfessorJohn
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Joined: 26 Jun 2014
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Location: The Room at the end of 2001

10 Jan 2015, 5:26 pm

I was diagnosed as having Asperger's back in April and it sure does explain a lot of things, including much of my growing up. I am having trouble "internalizing" it, and wonder if people have useful technique. Let me give you an example of what I mean by "internalizing"-I am also a recovering alcoholic and drug addict (been sober 21 years!) and quickly after getting sober I was able to look back and realize things like "Of course I drank too much and got drunk too often, I have alcoholism and that is what alcoholics do."

However, I can't seem to do that with Asperger's. I have always been embarrassed about my dating history, lack of relationships, and lack of sexual experiences even though a couple of therapists said I fall in the pretty typical range. I wish I could look back, not get depressed over it, and think/say "Of course I didn't have many dates or sexual experiences, I am an Aspie and those things don't happen much to Aspies." I can't seem to remember that, instead I blame myself, tell myself I must have been unattractive, a loser, etc.

It seems I can understand Alcoholism and the effect it had on me very easily, but I can't seem to do that with Aspergers-HELP! I also wish I could stop comparing myself to NTs in terms of dating, sex, and such as I am not like them. I was born with a disorder that pretty much assured I wouldn't be good in those things-or at least like NTs, but I can't always remember I am not like them. I have been married now for 15 years, though.