Nothing in common

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Joined: 27 Dec 2014
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 412

21 Jan 2015, 2:02 pm

Contrary to the tone of my posts, I actually *don't* dislike women. But the real problem is that I have just about nothing in common with the vast majority of women and perhaps for this reason I don't get along well with them. And I'm not just talking about romantic relationships I'm talking about friends and even acquaintances.

Anyone else have the is problem with the opposite sex?

KayteeKay
Snowy Owl

Joined: 3 Jan 2015
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 146

25 Jan 2015, 10:06 am

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:

7 billion people on the planet, slightly more than 50% of whom are female AND you dislike ALL of them? Ever single one you've met??

The problem might not be The Woen of the World.

LillaA
Blue Jay

Joined: 13 Dec 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 83

25 Jan 2015, 1:20 pm

Understandable. As a woman, I find I have very little in common with most women. I don't care about hair, makeup, or hot guys on TV enough to talk about all of them combined for more than about 30 seconds, and if you want to go shopping, you'd better not be counting on me for company. I know, this is an over-simplified definition of the average woman, but it seems to be the people I run into most of the time.

The best I can tell you is that there are some women who go deeper than that and can actually be intellectual companions whom you have things in common with. Trouble is, they're rare. That's why I can count on one hand the good female friends I've had through my life, and most of those were only halfway people I had stuff in common with. So, it's a long ride to find one that's able to be a companion for you in your life, interests, hobbies, philosophies, etc.

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Lazar_Kaganovich
Velociraptor

Joined: 27 Dec 2014
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 412

25 Jan 2015, 9:52 pm

KayteeKay wrote:

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:

7 billion people on the planet, slightly more than 50% of whom are female AND you dislike ALL of them? Ever single one you've met??

The problem might not be The Woen of the World.

Apparently you don't understand quantifiers.....Or maybe your reading comprehension is bad. But yes, the problem is definitely not the Woen of the World. Whoever they are!

Since I have to spell it out for you I will state that I don't get along well with > 50% of women I encounter into but less than 100% of them. Hope that helps.

GreatAlli
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 22 Jan 2015
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 41
Location: Canada

25 Jan 2015, 11:11 pm

Well, kind of. I actually have much more in common with your average male than your average female but seem to be ever incapable of maintaining a friendship or even acquaintanceship with a guy. I fully disagree that women capable of having intelligent conversation on the regular are "rare" as somebody mentioned earlier. It's just that they tend to bond over the shallow stuff and the intelligent conversation is sporadic in between all of that. I don't see how your average pair/group of women bonding over shopping is any different or "less intelligent" than your average pair/group of men bonding over something like sports/video games?

Anyways, I think the reason I'm able to find common ground with women whereas I'm not with men even though there are definitely common interests is that women are able to and more likely to be willing to compensate for my lack of social skills. Yeah, that really probably does not apply in your case considering it's the opposite issue but maybe it's something similar beyond not having anything in common?

Lazar_Kaganovich
Velociraptor

Joined: 27 Dec 2014
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 412

26 Jan 2015, 12:30 am

GreatAlli wrote:

It seems to me that A LOT of aspies really struggle to understand and relate to the opposite sex. Though many aspie women have told me they relate better to men than women. It really does lend credence to the much disputed claim that autistic people have hyper-masculine brains(or at least in certain parts).

Men and women in general really don't have much in common. And when I speak of having little in common I am not talking about shared interests as much as I am talking about thinking alike and seeing the world/responding mentally to things in the same way. I have no trouble talking to women about my interests provided that they share them but the way my mind works, and especially the way I converse with people, is just so alien to them.

goldfish21
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26 Jan 2015, 5:05 am

I get along with women just fine at work, but that's about the extent of my experience with them. I've never had a female friend in my life outside of acquaintances at work or school. Fortunately for me it doesn't matter that I don't tend to click with girls as friends by nature, because I'm gay, and it suits me just fine to hangout with guys. :lol: But yeah, I don't really have a lot in common with girls. I don't really care for shopping or other more feminine things. I don't hang out with effeminate guys, either. The only girls in my life at all are my friend's wife, cousins, sister, and my god daughter - I suppose that 7 year old girl could count as my female friend, kinda.

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Cafeaulait
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26 Jan 2015, 6:33 am

LillaA wrote:

They are really not that rare. I know plenty of deep, philosophical and widely orentiented women in my environment. In fact, I am one of those women myself. And yes I DO like to talk about more superficial stuff like hair and friends and clothing, make-up an celebrities occasionally, but who cares? I also have a very analytical, philosophical side. I just don't show it all the time. My boyfriend loves my versatility. There are a lot more sides to a person than it often seems.
Way too many women in the world to make such generalizations.

Lazar_Kaganovich
Velociraptor

Joined: 27 Dec 2014
Age: 43
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26 Jan 2015, 12:47 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

LillaA wrote:

Oh I agree. You can't make huge generalizations about what women are interested in nor can you do so about men. But you really CAN when it comes to how men and women think and how the world looks to them.

Tim_Tex
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27 Jan 2015, 10:24 am

There are virtually none with the same interests in my area.

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btbnnyr
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29 Jan 2015, 5:25 pm

I have a lot in common with men.
I like men more than women in general.
I like how men are in groups of men, their male-male friend relationships seem more natural to me than female-female friend relationships.

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KayteeKay
Snowy Owl

Joined: 3 Jan 2015
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 146

29 Jan 2015, 10:33 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

There are virtually none with the same interests in my area.

How many people live in your area? If the number is upwards of, say, 50k, well, that says as much about you as it does about the 25k in your vicinity.

Lazar_Kaganovich
Velociraptor

Joined: 27 Dec 2014
Age: 43
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Posts: 412

29 Jan 2015, 10:36 pm

KayteeKay wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

There are virtually none with the same interests in my area.

How many people live in your area? If the number is upwards of, say, 50k, well, that says as much about you as it does about the 25k in your vicinity.

Um, all it says about *you* is that you live in an area where people with the same interests are few and far between and/or not easy to find.

Cafeaulait
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30 Jan 2015, 1:19 am

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

LillaA wrote:

Perhaps, but I do not see why this is relevant.

Lazar_Kaganovich
Velociraptor

Joined: 27 Dec 2014
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30 Jan 2015, 5:27 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

LillaA wrote:

Perhaps, but I do not see why this is relevant.

Oh really? Because of the fact that as I have stated before ITT, the fact is that because of the way that I think and in particular my worldview and conversational style are so alien to most women that I can't relate to them very well. Even if I have common interests. Now do you see my point?

Tim_Tex
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30 Jan 2015, 3:25 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:

KayteeKay wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

There are virtually none with the same interests in my area.

How many people live in your area? If the number is upwards of, say, 50k, well, that says as much about you as it does about the 25k in your vicinity.

Um, all it says about *you* is that you live in an area where people with the same interests are few and far between and/or not easy to find.

Right on the money, Lazar.

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