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OliveOilMom
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21 Jan 2015, 11:50 pm

FreedomToCare's mental health in film thread and also new shows on Netflix that I'm watching inspired me to start this thread and ask ya'll's opinion of some of the reality tv shows that focus on mental issues, specifically "Hoarders" and "Obsessed". I watch these, along with "Hoarding Buried Alive" and sometimes "Intervention" etc. Yes I know it's basically televising a train wreck because most people watch it out of morbid curiosity and not out of any kind of altruistic notion of understanding why these things happen etc. They exploit the people on them, but those people willingly sign up for the show and while I don't think it helps anyone to watch it, I don't think it hurts anyone either.

Do you watch these kinds of show, why or why not? Would you ever be on a reality show like this? Again, why or why not?


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kraftiekortie
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22 Jan 2015, 12:35 am

I rarely watch "Hoarders."

If I were the friends of one of these people, I would certainly possess altruistic notions. Even though I don't know any of these people, I'm not watching the show with a similar intent/interest as the Romans watching the Christians getting eaten by the lions. I truly wish there was a way I could deter these people from hoarding in the future.

If these shows did not exist, I would not believe that there would be anybody who would create such a mess as these "hoarders" do. In that sense, the existence of these shows has taught me something.



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25 Jan 2015, 11:42 am

I feel anger and sad for the people on Hoarder shows. I feel sad because I know it's an illness and they are not doing it to be selfish or anything or to be lazy but I feel angry when there are kids involved because I find it to be child abuse when you deny them a safe environment and that one mother pissed me off when she made them eat road kills and weeds and would only buy them crappy second hand clothes and they barely had anything to do because they had nothing and the husband letting them all live that way. It wouldn't surprise me if CPS got involved after that show. I mean was she too cheap to use birth control or to get fixed? She said the more kids she had, the cheaper she got and I thought "Why did you have more, too cheap to not have anymore?" But for spouses who are married to these people, I just wonder how could they live this way? I know I wouldn't stay married if I was forced to live this way. But I don't feel any anger because they are adults and have the option to get out while kids don't really have that choice. You can pick your spouse but not your parents. But if it's someone living alone, I feel sadness but no anger. I think it's a choice when those people go on the show. I doubt they are forced. You can't force anyone to be in a show. I have been contacted once about a TV show (not about this or about any other mental illness) and I turned it down because I am private about my life and I have kids and I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea.


And my husband says I am cheap? When I watch these shows, it tells me I am not cheap and my husband doesn't know what he is talking about.


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OliveOilMom
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25 Jan 2015, 10:05 pm

I'm watching Hoarders right now on Netflix, and this one otherwise normal grown man has 200 rats in a pretty much empty house and they are supposed to be pets. When he was told they had to go, he cried like a baby on camera. First off, you can't relate correctly to 200 of anything that you have. If I had 200 huskies I couldn't take care of them all and I seriously doubt I'd know which was which. If a person can't see that having 200 rats isn't a good thing, then their problems are much bigger than housekeeping.

My grandparents were hoarders and I grew up in a godawful mess. I could rarely have friends over because of that. My mother wouldn't do anything about it and wasn't ever much of a housekeeper herself and because of how I grew up, I have no sympathy at all for people who get themselves in that situation. I know thats unfair of me and it's personal baggage that causes that but it's just how I am. Also that animal hoarding thing really ticks me off cause my mother was one of those people who put animals before people and did that to me a few times and it was so not right. You don't buy pet food and pet snacks and pet toys instead of buying your child something to eat and hygeine products!

I guess I always watch these shows in hopes that the people living in squalor will get a clue during the show and realize that they need to straighten up and fly right but they always just seem to feel that they are some kind of victim because the city may condemn their house or their landlord might kick them out if they don't get the water turned on and stop pooping in grocery bags and piling it up in the bathroom.


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25 Jan 2015, 11:40 pm

I once heard about an episode with a woman in it who got so much stuff in her house and it kept on piling to a point where she could no longer get to her toilet so she started using diapers and she would toss them in the bathroom instead of in the trash. So she had two years of piled up used diapers ad I wonder how did all those diapers fit in the bathroom from 364 days a year for two years. Her home must have reeked of urine and poo. I remember the debate about this was if this was laziness or not and people were saying on the thread this was an illness because no sane person would do this. I thought it was so disgusting when I read about it.


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League_Girl
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26 Jan 2015, 5:30 am

League_Girl wrote:
I feel anger and sad for the people on Hoarder shows. I feel sad because I know it's an illness and they are not doing it to be selfish or anything or to be lazy but I feel angry when there are kids involved because I find it to be child abuse when you deny them a safe environment and that one mother pissed me off when she made them eat road kills and weeds and would only buy them crappy second hand clothes and they barely had anything to do because they had nothing and the husband letting them all live that way. It wouldn't surprise me if CPS got involved after that show. I mean was she too cheap to use birth control or to get fixed? She said the more kids she had, the cheaper she got and I thought "Why did you have more, too cheap to not have anymore?" But for spouses who are married to these people, I just wonder how could they live this way? I know I wouldn't stay married if I was forced to live this way. But I don't feel any anger because they are adults and have the option to get out while kids don't really have that choice. You can pick your spouse but not your parents. But if it's someone living alone, I feel sadness but no anger. I think it's a choice when those people go on the show. I doubt they are forced. You can't force anyone to be in a show. I have been contacted once about a TV show (not about this or about any other mental illness) and I turned it down because I am private about my life and I have kids and I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea.


And my husband says I am cheap? When I watch these shows, it tells me I am not cheap and my husband doesn't know what he is talking about.



I was also talking about Extreme Cheapskates, yeah that has to be an illness as well because what sane person would choose to live that way?


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OliveOilMom
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26 Jan 2015, 5:46 am

League_Girl wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I feel anger and sad for the people on Hoarder shows. I feel sad because I know it's an illness and they are not doing it to be selfish or anything or to be lazy but I feel angry when there are kids involved because I find it to be child abuse when you deny them a safe environment and that one mother pissed me off when she made them eat road kills and weeds and would only buy them crappy second hand clothes and they barely had anything to do because they had nothing and the husband letting them all live that way. It wouldn't surprise me if CPS got involved after that show. I mean was she too cheap to use birth control or to get fixed? She said the more kids she had, the cheaper she got and I thought "Why did you have more, too cheap to not have anymore?" But for spouses who are married to these people, I just wonder how could they live this way? I know I wouldn't stay married if I was forced to live this way. But I don't feel any anger because they are adults and have the option to get out while kids don't really have that choice. You can pick your spouse but not your parents. But if it's someone living alone, I feel sadness but no anger. I think it's a choice when those people go on the show. I doubt they are forced. You can't force anyone to be in a show. I have been contacted once about a TV show (not about this or about any other mental illness) and I turned it down because I am private about my life and I have kids and I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea.


And my husband says I am cheap? When I watch these shows, it tells me I am not cheap and my husband doesn't know what he is talking about.



I was also talking about Extreme Cheapskates, yeah that has to be an illness as well because what sane person would choose to live that way?



I've never seen that show. My MIL was always really cheap. She grew up during the Depression, really poor, and even though she's got money to burn and literally a few million in the bank and invested, she would save aluminum foil and buy everything at yard sales and just do some insane things to save money. My husband and I struggle with money but I've never gone as far overboard as she does. Some people say "Thats how she got so rich" but it's not. College degrees, good jobs, great salaries and smart investments are how she got that way. Of course while she bought extremely cheap for everyone else including her husband, she bought only the best for herself. That's certainly understandable to spend a little more on yourself than on others but she could pinch a penny till Lincoln screamed.

I've never seen the show about the coupon people either, and I've thought about trying to use more coupons but they just don't have any for the brands I normally get. I mostly buy generic stuff and thats cheaper than brand names even with coupons and double coupons. I do wish I could save money with coupons. I also hear people complain about folks with food stamps, saying that we buy steak and better food that those who don't have food stamps, but I stretch those food stamps as far as I can. Yes, I sometimes buy good cuts of meat but when it's marked down so low I can afford it, I will certainly buy it especially when it's as cheap as hamburger. I'm not going to refuse to buy it simply to deprive myself of something on general principle.

Mainly the shows I'm talking about are just the hoarding, addiction and shows about specific mental illnesses, things that are overt like that.


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BuyerBeware
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26 Jan 2015, 8:16 am

I don't know if I'd qualify for a spot on Extreme Cheapskates or Hoarders or not.

At one point in time, I had 10 cats. They all got neutered, and I at least tried to keep it all clean. We're down to three now.

I buy food in bulk (like, a lot of bulk-- flats of canned goods, 25-pound sacks of beans, 50-pound sacks of flour, bushels of produce for canning). It's cheaper, and there are six or seven of us (depending on the season), and I'm the family food pantry when someone ends up unemployed.

I buy most of my clothing and the kids' clothing secondhand, or trade for hand-me-downs. It's clean, 97% stain-free, and in good repair. It's also a hell of a lot cheaper, low-sweatshop, easy on the fact that I'm good for about 2 hours in a mall or big-box store before my nerves are shot and we're in meltdown country, and keeps money in the community and/or goods and services inside my social network (ie it benefits someone other than just me).

The kids don't seem to mind, and I WILL buy new things if the kids have a legitimate reason and/or it's necessary. I note that, until my generation, secondhand clothes was called "how you dress a kid" unless you were very, very wealthy indeed.

As far as reality TV goes, please remember that it's heavily edited. It represents the selected, most sensational (or camera-ready) bits of reality, not real actual reality itself. EVERYTHING you see on TV is skewed. NO EXCEPTIONS.

I have a friend who is an obsessive/compulsive hoarder. She's obsessively ridden by guilt, and compelled by this to take in every damn homeless animal she finds (and keep them, unless she can find a PERFECT home-- hint, I won't take her animals on a permanent basis, because I don't want to deal with her standards). She's obsessively terrified of LOOKING poor, and it compels her to hoard "nice things." Totchkes, housewares, clothing-- she's got two bedrooms, a landing, a stairwell, and a basement full of them. You can't walk around in her house. You have to move things to sit down. She doesn't let people come in.

I wish she'd see someone to work on the obsessive fears. They tell me (and it seems to be true) that, if you can lessen the obsessive fears, the compulsions get easier to resist. I have to give her credit, though-- she does realize that there is a problem, and she is working on whittling the mess down. It's going to take the rest of her life to do it two garbage bags at a time (about all her anxiety can handle), but it's still an effort (and at least it keeps it from getting any worse).


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26 Jan 2015, 12:15 pm

I have seen a show on animal hoarding and to me that has to be some form of animal abuse because I had seen how it would affect those animals. I don't care how many pets someone has but just as long as they are well fed and cared for then I have no problem with it but from my own experience, being in homes by people who had lot of cats, the room would reek of urine and other odor. One of my neighbors had to rip the whole entire carpet out of one of their bedrooms because the previous home owners had a bunch of cats and kept them in that room. I never new these people had cats, I knew they had a dog but I had never saw their cats and I was surprised they would have a bunch of them and keep them locked in that room. I am sure their cat hoarding wasn't as bad like I see in the TV show. Reality TV people always find the worst cases for entertainment. Plus I hear it's illegal to own so many animals.


About couponing, I have seen extreme couponing, never watched the show but I have seen parts of it online) and I find it amazing how they find all these coupons and know where to find them and manage to use them all and save over 100$.

I sometimes wonder if people ever fake anything to be on TV and stage anything or exaggerate their lives to be on it. They make it look worse than it really is for them. I know some stuff was staged in the show Obsession when they starred Stanley Thorton in it and that caused him controversy and I hear his "mommy" got sick from all the stress from the judgments from people and the stress of it affected her so she died months later, she already had a health problem to begin with and the stress really killed her because of it. I think it was heart problems she had. She was also disabled like he was. But that's why I won't go on TV and air my life out there because of all the editing and the exaggerating. Reality TV isn't really reality.


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