I hate Aspergers

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The cons outweigh the pros. I can't fit in properly with anyone, I'm not good at anything, I'm poorly coordinated and even if I did do something that normally would entice women to me, They'd always go to the guys with better looks, more friends, and better social skills. I always wonder what I did in a previous life to have to deal with this pain. Its just killing me to be socially inept. I hate watching others around me move forward yet I'm still like 13 or 14 years old.


Anyone else feel the same?

There are times when I feel similar to you.

How's everything going, otherwise?

Well mostly bad

but I am willing to try music lessons. I worry though I won't fit in again!! !! ! Its the SAME thing like with work the odds are the gorgeous girls in those groups will go to the guy that has more friends regardless of whether or not I can do music well and not only will that hurt my self image and self esteem, but it'll also make me feel worthless. I have tried things like this in the past nothing worked. I shower everyday, and groom properly and stuff, nothing. They all want guys who are not socially inept, and won't drop things or constantly forget things all the time. I really want to do this to at least open myself up a bit as nothing else I try works.

I can't afford therapy and meds make me sick. So I am trapped. I can't get out of this locked door. Aspergers truly, and always will, suck ,and worst of all I have to deal with this conflab thing for life. GREAT......

Sorry for being so negative but life has been dealing me a very bad hand, and I just don't feel good about it. Pretty much to most I don't exist.

Music lessons would be good.

Always remember: some of the best composers were really inept creatures. Some of them didn't bathe too often, either--so you're probably at an advantage as compared to them.

Just continue progressing: the results will come. As you get older, women get more into the person than into superficial things. The older you are, the better you'll do, I bet.

I think I'll try it out then.

The second part is in fact true, I think I will have a better chance at getting a girlfriend when I get older because girls in general mature and become more aware of their surroundings. I just don't want to have to wait to find someone till my youth is gone and I'm in my 30s or 40s, having never really experienced a full youth.

So, you think that NTs are “better” than we?

First of, for biological reasons, NT women tend to look for NT men to relationship and procreation. This choose process is irrational, and we can't blame them for this. They don't even stop to think about it all.

To really find someone that will harmonize with you, look for someone that don't irrationally follows the society dictates. Some NTs can be in the border between NTpism and Aspies and are good fellows for the two groups. So, you don't need to find necessarily an aspie girl, but, If you find na aspie girl she Will be happy to stay with you.

Good luck my friend!

Not very good odds there, who gave me this??? Why me? Why couldn't it have been someone else who got this crippling disorder and not me? I don't get it.

You have better odds than you think, my friend.

Once NT's reach a certain age, many realize all this NT crap is crap.

I'm getting the picture you're considering music lessons mostly to get some action.
I'm not sure if that's ideal.

And two aspies meeting - or even connecting - really, really does not magically mean they'll live happily ever after. That's a pretty horrible and sweeping generalization to make.

Anyway, believe it or not, some girls really like the uncoordinated, awkward guys.
I don't think that's what makes them stay with you, no, but it's somehow endearing to some.

Oftentimes, I feel the same. I'd gladly trade all the pros for a few friends. The only positive I really care for is that it gives me unique perspectives and attitudes to use in creative pursuits, but as much as we praise them I don't think anyone really wants to be a tortured artist.

Still, my work's the only thing I have.

I can relate to you
Nothing is wrong with you as long as you don't harm others and if someone would choose someone else over you for somthing like looks or social skills then don't even think about them

Every guy in history of man that was deemed "uncool" has struggled getting hot girls. That does tend to change as we get older. The cool guys become losers and the hot girls get sick of their loser boyfriends, and then become available for the rest of us. Remember, out of all the girls that any guy meets, only one lasts. You don't gotta find the most girls or the hottest girls, just got to find that one. Almost always, the best relationships are built off of common interests, and these can't be faked, or the relationship won't work. What are you into? I bet there are some people into the same thing that would love to chat with you about it. It isn't going to be easy, but you can do it.

Yep...that pretty much what happens, Scottie.

I think Duck's going to be all right, eventually.

Think so too ...

I would probably stop honing in exclusively on the girls you find gorgeous, first of all. It's not likely you'd have much in common with them anyway given that they're going after the sort of men you've described, and that's not a foundation for a good relationship.

That nerdy, quiet girl in the corner is likely going through some of the same struggles you are. Maybe you could try talking to her instead - not every friendship needs to be romantic and based on an arbitrary attractiveness quota. As for the rest, a disorder is a disorder is a disorder onto infinity. You can't help that your brain's wired that way. I've learned to embrace my strengths rather than bemoan something I can't do much about.

I always used to hate on my Asperger's - blaming it for everything I couldn't do, wondering why I couldn't be 'normal' like everybody else...

'Til I discovered that 'normal' or being normal was overrated anyway, because NT's have their own set of problems which, fortunately, I don't have!

Things like always feeling the need to be liked, included in other people's lives and getting depressed when they are not and besides, there aren't any excuses for acting weird when you are normal.

Since embracing myself holistically, as an Aspie's sufferer and not trying to fight it, it gave up fighting me. If I stim, pace in circles, am rude or blunt and uncoordinated...so what? that's who I am - like it or lump it.

I cannot help it and I cannot control it (or very limited control) so why even bother about it? It's like telling somebody who has a broken leg to try and run - the expectations you have about yourself are totally unrealistic.

So, concentrate on your strengths and those things you are good at and put all those things you are not so good at down to having Asperger's Disorder.

It may be a 'cop out', but if it helps you sleep better at night knowing that resistance is futile, the exercise is well worth the effort.

Good luck and all the best with it.