Afraid of being alone forever?

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The name of this thread. That was the topic of conversation between my and gf yesterday. She asked why I couldn't get a better girl than her. She said I only with her because I thought I couldn't do better than her and I was afraid of being alone forever.

I didn't deny it. She didn't like that. She said I'd be better off leaving her to find a prettier girl. For a while I thought about it. I didn't tell her of course. She's very plain looking. I can get used to it but I was worried my friends and family would mock me for being with her. They might think I only went with plane jane becuase I was desperate.

Or worse, due to her lazy eye sometimes looking off to the side and the way she talks very softly they might think she has some kind of cognitive impairment. My family would really shun me if they thought that. It's not that I value her worth by her appearance, it's more like I value my worth by what people think of me. Maybe I can get to speak more clearly if I can improve her self-esteem.

She has zero self-esteem. I suspect this may be chiefly due to her extremely controlling family though her exes might have something to do with it as well. She has suffers from depression and when her first bf dumped her she attempted suicide. Oddly enough he was an aspie too.

She has trouble saying no. She thinks it's normal to wait on me whilst I sit on the couch. On several of our dates she offered to pay for both of us. I wonder if I can make her less self-sacrificing and increase her sense of self-worth.

Using myself as an example, the way I improved my self-esteem was to improve myself. I know some people say you the secret of happiness is to accept yourself as you are but I only felt better after I made radical changes to my appearance and lifestyle. Instead of accepting the things about me I didn't like I eliminated them.

I thought I could do the same for her. She obsesses about dieting but when I tried to coach her in this I had her sobbing. I must use more subtle methods of encouragement. She usually offers me about two thirds of her meals so I eat them, even when I already feel really full. Her hair lacked volume so I bought her a high-end blow drier, which she seemed to like. I'm wondering if there's surgery to tighten up the muscles in her right eye.

I want to stay with her because I find it hard to imagine I could be that comfortable around another girl. Though our commutation isn't always great because she's more of a visual thinker. Still, it's fun having her around every weekend. She likes sick comedies such as the Dictator and doesn't mind if I play Sonic the Hedgehog while making out. She got mad when she found out I have more shoes than her. She wants to move in soon which has me worried since it seems like a really big commitment.

She wants to find a job. I think that's a great idea and it would to much to improve her self-esteem but I'm not quite sure how to help with this since none of my jobs ever came through conventional channels.

How did you come up with GoofyGoobers anyway? That name is so Yankee! You seem delightful. I think you'll find someone suitable soon.

RetroGamer: you're too honest LOL. But you seems to enjoy her company. Why not increase your respective self-esteems by continuing with her. Who cares what your family thinks?

How can you be alone forever when we have a limited lifespan?

Why do you want to get married? Is it because that is "normal?"

Pizza is considered normal--but that's not why I like it

I bet Goober would love to see her little Goobers running around.

you're likely get use to it. I crave cuddling to sleep. i admit the nights that one girl was here I kept waking up through out the night. I think its just being use to sleeping alone for 20 plus years. building it down next to the grocery store out in my area.

kraftiekortie

her name is likely from a show called sponge bob square pants, in the show theres a kids restaurant they go to called goofygoobers



why not date them then?

It'd sure be nice to actually have someone waiting for me whenever I close the laptop

My username is a reference to the first Spongebob movie. Spongebob and Patrick in the movie loved this Chuck E Cheese type place with a singing peanut. They also loved this goofy goober song that's pretty silly.

Because they live across the Atlantic Ocean.

I get that. It's nice. It's a good way to get through a movie too. It's just that it will be easier to get used to a few months from now when it's winter. It's too hot now.

Yeah, maybe my family won't care that much. I should attempt to improve her self-esteem instead. Maybe if I show her that I think she's worthwhile she'll think it too. I'll cancel my plans to slip a tapeworm egg into her food JK.

She wants me to rent a bigger house, which seems like a lot of commitment. Commitment is scary. Although if she moves in to escape her abusive family I could use that as leverage with the subsidized housing commission. Also she said she wants me to give her two kids. That scared the crap out of me Maybe I can get her two cats instead.

Didn't you just meet ten days ago? Seems a bit early to even really know her, let alone stressing about commitment and making babies. Relax and have fun

Oh, gosh. I'd recommend being together at least a year before moving in together, and at least a few years before bringing children into the world. That is scary, I would be scared too. I don't know if I would want to be someone's escape route out of an abusive situation. I don't think that's a very healthy beginning. I'd be very cautious.

I think there are lots of ways to help people out of abusive situations without having them move in and start a family with you. If she's already talking about children, be extra careful with sex, please. I was a teen parent because I thought I was 'going to escape my abusive family' and 'have love and a real family with my new man' at the time and geez that really screwed up my entire life and I'm still paying for it emotionally. Be careful. x

Hello, goofygoobers! I am new here and happened to see your post. I want to let you know that you are definately not alone. I have been single my entire life so far and, trust me, I am beyond tired of it. I have tried countless times to ask girls out on dates, and it always ended up with the dreaded "no." I never understood why I have trouble getting to have, even, a first date, but enough about that. I saw your pictures on your post. You are definately not unattractive. I think that you are very pretty, actually. It's any guy's loss who doesn't think that you are pretty. Don't give up! Someone will want to be with you, love you, and will take care of you for your entire life! I would be honored to enjoy getting to know you on here! Please feel free to message me anytime! Have a wonderful day and night, all the time!! !

I know I'll be alone forever. I could hardly be less popular.

It's not a rare problem either, I predict within two decades we'll have robotic lovers.

It's easier to make robotic lovers than it is to reverse the breakdown of society which has been ongoing for several generations now. A lot of people are reaching the point where they have to admit they're just a slave to the economic system and will never get to experience happiness.

On the plus side, the billionaires of the world have more billions than ever. I don't know if anybody really loves them, but at least they're not alone.

That's what I'd rather do. I felt confused so I talked about it with a friend. We came to the conclusion that she's a nice girl but I'd like to know her for a longer time before I make any bigger commitments. He said that he felt closer to his girlfriend before she moved in. I believe him because nowadays most of their conversations revolve around groceries (sounds about right, buying for yourself is easy, buying for someone else is hard).

I suggested to her that I could have a vasectomy but she said then I wouldn't be a real man.

I went to see her last night and she didn't look that bad. She just looked very ordinary. It's just that when I worry about something I exaggerated it in my mind so in my mind she became the Beast of Burma. She's not that bad, I mainly need to boost her confidence.That would be good.Fortunately she says the ideal age for her to have children is 32. I have seven years to weasel out of fatherhood. I think the ideal age for her to have children is seven years after menopause.I know right That's about fifty times too much responsibility for me. I won't be mature enough for fatherhood until I'm about two hundred years old.If you have any suggestions, please tell me. If anyone else has any suggestions, please tell me.

Oh and goofygoobers, sorry for going off topic on your thread. There are a lot of single guys here so perhaps if you revealed which city or state you lived in one of them would ask you out. Not me though, I don't live in America.

hello googygooobers, I see that a lot of people here have been given you greats advices, I think that before seeking for someone you have to love yourself, the desire to be with someone can lead you to someone that will take advantage of all that love , please take care. I speak from experience, I had 6 boyfriends, I left the relationships with wounds to the soul, now I am so afraid to give another opportunity to love, I always been alone and I thought to find someone to fit in somewhere, great mistake, but it true than now I am more strong, sure of myself and happy than I've ever been, because despite being all alone, I have no friends or skills to make them and I do not feel really attached to my family, but, do you know what? it is not terrible, here there are a lot of people who understand you and don't judge you, it is much more than what I had at your age, please don't be depressed, I learned that even though things are not perfect, you can always find things in this life worthwhile, like you.
"no hay camino se hace camino al andar"