breakup reason - can anybody help me with this...plz

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starbobboy
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28 Jan 2015, 10:05 pm

Hi all,

Just wanted to ask you all aspies out there something...
My ex-aspie boyfriend doesn't want to get back with me because he thinks he is going to cheat on me.
We broke up 2 months ago and then I wanted to get back. He didn't want to and the reason being is that he thinks he is going to cheat on me because of my breast size. Mines are size A and those are quite small (unfortunately). He has been obsessed with big boobs and that I know but he never said about my boobs to me (aspies out there please let me know if this is not an aspie trait. I don't want to believe that it is. .. While he is obsessed with big boobs, I have never been thinking that was extreme to the point that was the only reason he didn't want to get back with me.)

When we first broke up, I know it was my fault. But, I can't quite understand how he can just say I have small boobs and he needs big boobs and that is why he doesn't want to get back with me. I don't know if I should just take it as it literally means or he just is excusing my boobs and that he doesn't love me any more. At this point, it is really not worth thinking about this.. I know.. but I just wanted to know which one is the true reason. It is quite shocking to hear from someone you love telling you the reason of separation being the size of my boobs...

Any advice would be appreciated...
-despondent NT-



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28 Jan 2015, 10:11 pm

It all seems to boil down to both of you saying, "It's not you, it's me", and the arguing over who has the greater justification to the claim.

My advice is to just let the break-up happen, instead of trying to ignore the fact that you two are just not "made for each other".


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aspiemike
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28 Jan 2015, 11:18 pm

Almost the same thing to say as above.

It sounds as if he knows what he wants from the physical aspect of a relationship (and was brutally blunt about it). Emotionally and mentally, it doesn't sound like he has a clue about what he wants. I'd call this a maturity issue, and not so much an Aspie thing.


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ProfessorJohn
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29 Jan 2015, 12:55 am

Unless you are willing to get a boob job this relationship probably won't work, and even if you did, he would probably find something else to complain about. If he really loved you your bust size wouldn't matter at all.



Fnord
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29 Jan 2015, 7:22 am

Tell the jerk 'good-bye'.

You deserve better.


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886
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29 Jan 2015, 7:43 am

Love for many people is very superficial and a lot of people are only going to fall in love with what they see, men like him are dangerous and if you're seeking a good monogamous relationship, you're wasting your time. If that's why he's breaking up with you, is he really right for you? If having a good rack is more important than you as a person is it worth trying?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Jan 2015, 4:57 pm

Being obsessed with big boobs is now another Aspie symptom.



Shodan
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29 Jan 2015, 5:44 pm

Smaller boobs are just fine. As above, his issue sounds like one of maturity if he is even using that as a reason.
Don't get back together, in time you will find a nice guy who doesn't make up such rediculous excuses...



Thanatos86
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29 Jan 2015, 6:53 pm

He's an idiot. Move on



Echolalia
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29 Jan 2015, 6:54 pm

starbobboy wrote:
but I just wanted to know which one is the true reason. It is quite shocking to hear from someone you love telling you the reason of separation being the size of my boobs...

Any advice would be appreciated...
-despondent NT-


None of us can know the true reason. But we can surmise this....he seems pretty immature no matter which way you look at it. Either he really is just seeking a set of breasts, in which case why would you want to be with him? Or he's not man enough to be honest with you, in which case why would you want to be with him?

I know its hard to disentangle from someone you've had a hormone fuelled attachment to, especially when the reasons for the end seem frivolous and stupid. But it will pass eventually, and it will pass sooner if you stop asking 'why'.


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qFox
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29 Jan 2015, 6:54 pm

If that is what he said then just move on and look for someone who respects you and is loyal, he is not worth wasting energy on.



voleregard
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29 Jan 2015, 7:46 pm

Bottom line is this: If he fell out of love with you because of your breast size, then he never really loved you in the first place.


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886
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30 Jan 2015, 6:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Being obsessed with big boobs is now another Aspie symptom.

And sponge bob might be autistic, and my husband's ignoring me, so he must be, too.


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Fnord
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30 Jan 2015, 7:12 am

886 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Being obsessed with big boobs is now another Aspie symptom.
And sponge bob might be autistic, and my husband's ignoring me, so he must be, too.
Oh, when will it end?

:roll:


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KayteeKay
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31 Jan 2015, 1:10 pm

Why he broke up w/you is irrelevant. All that matters is that he did. Let. It. Go.



starbobboy
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04 Feb 2015, 6:42 pm

I know I have to let it go, and I have to accept that he doesn't love me, and that it is not feasible to get back as he is the kind of person who makes a decision, then never goes back.

While others said otherwise, I have been in love with him ever since the first time I met him. He is really special and he meant the world to me. The first breakup, which was caused by me, was one thing that I regret the most and that if I could go back, I will do what I can to make it not happen. But, it happened and it happened. And then he didn't want to get back with me. For the past two months, I have been in depression for so much, I rarely did anything other than sleeping after work. This is getting severe and I lost a motivation..Now, I am seeing a psychologist in hope of getting out of depression. Every moment of the day, I daydream that I can get back with him at some point, which hinders my getting over him. I don't know what to do. It was just that as all of you have some objects you are very much into, one of his objects happened to be female breasts and I wasn't sure if he was making an excuse using his obsession to get himself out of me wanting him back or he literally can't be with someone (me) with small breasts which had been fine all along. I was just confused. Regardless, he was the most honest and caring person I have known in my life and it is just painful to think that he is not with me anymore.
He is seeing other girls now...I just don't know what to do...