How do I tell my boyfriend about ADHD?

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Joe90
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29 Jan 2015, 4:35 am

I know I have ADHD, but I asked my boyfriend if he knows what it is and he said no (he comes from an all-NT family; NT children, NT siblings, etc, so I suppose he's never had to deal with this sort of stuff, lucky!)

I'm erratic, childlike, forgetful, scatty, excitable, hyper, and I can't sit still or focus on things like TV or books. I also just want to keep talking about anything I can think of all the time, although I try to stop myself. I know that all of those quirks of mine put together=annoying.

And he isn't like that at all. He's calm, organised, tidy, and could sit in front of the TV for hours and focus on stuff, and he likes things neat and tidy. He has pointed out these quirks of mine, like saying "sit still", "will you stop talking", "think before you do things", "focus on this (TV programme/book, ect)".

He is not being mean or anything. I think he just needs to understand a bit better about ADHD and how we lack attention which can make us quirky. How do I get him to understand more about ADHD in adults? There's not a lot about in on the internet. Could I write him a little letter explaining about it? How do I do this?


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Raini
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29 Jan 2015, 12:27 pm

Maybe he said no because he didn't realize you were talking about ADHD. That seems really strange, given that you specifically asked him, but there have been plenty of times where I've been asked if I know someone or something, and say no.
He might of thought you were talking about technology? I mean, with the things like 1080p, 4k, CPU and other things, he might of assumed that you had heard about some snazzy newfangled thingy. Or like, TGIF (TGIT if you watch a certain channel), LOL, ROFL. But maybe that's just me.

I think it would be pretty strange for him not to have heard of it. I mean, at least where I live it's fairly common; there was usually at least one kid that had it when I was in school, and in high school no one felt the need to hide that they had ADHD, and on tv they talk about it often enough. I don't think it's really a big deal, so you shouldn't worry :D

If he says things because he doesn't understand, or know, you have to tell him or he never will, right?

Maybe just say, you know, something along the lines of "We need to have a super super serious talk" or something.
However you think it would be best received of course.

Hope I helped <3



Joe90
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29 Jan 2015, 12:43 pm

Actually I asked him if he knew about ADHD/ADD when he was talking about how hyperactive and inattentive I am. Then I told him what it stands for (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), and he still said he hadn't heard of it, which I was quite surprised about.


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trollcatman
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29 Jan 2015, 3:19 pm

Perhaps you could let him read the wikipedia article?
If he hasn't heard of it, at least he has no preconceptions or stereotypes.



Joe90
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29 Jan 2015, 3:51 pm

trollcatman wrote:
Perhaps you could let him read the wikipedia article?
If he hasn't heard of it, at least he has no preconceptions or stereotypes.


Very true. :lol:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Jan 2015, 5:00 pm

Just go on with your life with him, forget about the labels.



TheAP
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29 Jan 2015, 5:06 pm

There are the books Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction by Hallowell and Ratey. They are written for adults with ADHD, but paint quite a good picture, I think, of life with ADHD.