Don't like being touched?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello, I'm Nick. I'm high-functioning and apparently attractive, but physical contact makes me very uncomfortable.
I recoil at being touched, and somehow this really offends girls. All I need is some warning before they try to hug me or grab my hand. :/ It makes relationships difficult and my past girlfriends ended up thinking I didn't like them.
Any tips for getting more comfortable with being touched? Anyone with the same problem?

I used to hate being touched, or anybody being too close to me. I felt that it was sort of a violation of my personal space. Now it doesn't bother me so much, after I got used to it.

Most women view this as you rejecting them, so it would help if you tell them up front that you aren't too comfortable with others (men or women) touching you, and that it will take you awhile to get used to it. If they are patient and understanding, this shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Yeah just straight up insert it into the conversation somehow that you've got a thing about people touching you. Most people will understand that as everyone has a 'thing' about something. People use touch as a love body language so unless you explain your reaction upfront they will just think you find them repulsive or something.

I dont like being touched by strangers either Im like a wild animal and will bite and scratch or even maul em if they try but if its someone I know and trust then Ill let them touch me and Ill be affectionate to that individual! (^_^)

Yeah I am the same although holding hands is fine with me, but if someone tries to touch me intimately, or stroke me etc then I recoil as though being tickled. Light touch is much worse than a heavy hand. I've tended to get drunk or do drugs before the first time I have sex with someone (which obviously I don't recommend) As I only realised that I have AS about 18 months ago at the age of 33 I never understood what this was about and it used to stress boyfriends out. I can eventually get comfortable with someone and even really enjoy being lightly touched, but then if something is wrong, close to meltdown etc then I can start to freak out at being touched again, which is hard for people to understand. Tbh it's probably why I spent so long with the last boyfriend though it clearly wasn't working in other areas, I had got to the point where intimacy wasn't a problem and it's going to be annoying having to start again with someone else, especially as people don't always understand :-/

I don't recoil, but I dont' respond either.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I tried telling one girl before, and it kind of worked, but she forgot after awhile and went back to touching me without warning. I don't understand how suddenly grabbing people could be anything but threatening.
I still have this problem with people I've known for years, but a few people know how to approach me.

Also, I don't make friends with guys because they are too physical. One time in school, two male acquaintances were repeatedly poking my leg with their feet. They wouldn't stop when I told them to, so I stood up, flipped one guy's desk with him in it, and kicked the other one directly in his testicles. The teacher was not in the room.
Does anybody else get defensive?

I wasn't a fan of being touched either until after I had a couple of massages. After a while your mind realizes that being touched isn't bad and can actually be relaxing.

And you should tell these girl before you date them that you don't like being touched. If they lose interest, they weren't that interested in you anyway. My girlfriend understands my Aspegers and works with it. In appreciation, I give her all the love I can give

Actually, its a little odd with me, if I may be so bold as to say that. Frankly, I love sexual intercourse. I love touching other people, and in the heat of the moment, an embrace is tolerable. I also enjoy giving massages, and have found that my back pains seem to resonate with others, as I intuitively know exactly where to push to make them melt into so much groaning jelly.

However, even though my back often aches so bad I lose sleep over it, whenever someone touches my back, whether in a hug, a pat on the back, or a massage, I feel anything from severe discomfort to intense fear. My girlfriend, even though I tell her time and time again not to, has a fascination with pinching me and placing her cold hands on my chest and legs, and then proceeds to apologize and attempt to hug me, seemingly ignorant of the issue at hand.

(Yes, I realize that she's not the best, but that's my issue to deal with, so please don't say anything, okay?)

the only way i'm ok with touching others...is if i instigate it. don't approach me, let me approach you.
and even then...i prefer hi-fives over hugs/anything else. the only person i hug and kiss is my Mum...and my dog. (and my grammy, but she hasn't been with us for years now)

I used to hate being touched by friends, but now I only hate it when it comes out of nowhere. For instance if a friend came up from behind me and tried to touch my shoulder or tried to hug me from behind, I'd tense up instantly. But if the friend was standing in front of me and touched/hugged me, then I'd be OK with it.

I don't like it at all when strangers try to touch me though.