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1. She doesn't laugh at your jokes. Laughing is a form of flirting.
Sorry. I only laugh if something is funny, or if I'm nervous.
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2. She is clearly uncomfortable with physical contact.
I'm not always very comfortable with physical contact. Really, I'm not comfortable with physical contact until we've been together a while.
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3. When you are talking to her, she keeps backing away.
That can also happen if one of us has bad breath or if you no concept of personal space or if your concept of personal space is not the same as mine. I know that if I like you, Murphy's Law says you must approach me after I've had a garlic onion bagel and a black coffee, but why do you insist on following that law, then Jaywalk across three streets?
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4. She doesn't like hugging you.
I'm OK with hugs if I initiate them. I mostly initiate them when a person looks like they could use one, and I always ask first, because some people just don't like being hugged.
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5. You don't know who her friends are.
Some of us don't have a lot of friends. Most of mine don't live near enough for regular get-togethers. The ones I have are friends, but more like acquaintances as far as I'm concerned. I moved here for work.
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6. She is too busy to hang out with you.
Or she's actually too busy to hang out with you.
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7. Shes really vague about planning to hangout.
I'm socially awkward, and you're the guy. The old rules that nobody follows anymore say it's your job to invite me out on a specific date and set the time. Because I'm so socially awkward, I'd be thrilled if a guy did this, even though I'm not very old-fashioned.
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8. She touches her hair in short jerky motions.
Now I have to be coordinated when I touch my hair? Can I hire a choreographer for this? Because otherwise, it's just going to be a big mess. Isn't it enough that I coordinated my shoes with my purse? That should really count for something.
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9. She likes someone else.
Yes. If I am currently with someone, I'm not looking for new applicants. But that might just be me. Men and women both juggle. OK, I guess I am a little old-fashioned after all.
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10. She does not go out of her way to talk to you.
No, because when I actually like you, I can barely string two words together. My friends and acquaintances think this is funny, especially when I start turning colors.
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11. She acts more serious than silly around you.
Wait, do you want a woman, or a clown? If you're really looking to date Krusty, I'd really like to know. I'm not looking to date someone who's looking to date Krusty.
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12. She doesn't seem to care that much about your life.
I thought I was good when I asked you how you were? Isn't that what that question is supposed to establish?
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13. You're always the one to initiate conversation
Again, I'm socially awkward and tongue-tied around you if I like you. I have a tough enough time holding up my end of a conversation with my best friend since high school, and we have a lot of shared memories.
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14. She ignores you or doesn't notice you.
If that was me, sorry. I was probably focusing on something I had to do. Another thought though, maybe you should wear something brighter next time. You know, like male birds do.
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15. She talks about other guys that she does like.
Some girls do that to see if you'll get jealous. Unless you get off on headgames, you're probably better off without them.
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16. She says that you're a good friend or emphasizes friendship in a conversation.
I guess that's a sign she thinks someone needs convincing. She might be trying to convince herself though.
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17. She says I deserve you and someday you're gonna find a girl thats really good for you.
She could have some major self-esteem issues, like, bigger than anyone I know. You're probably better off.
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18. She only calls you when she needs something like some money or a ride etc...
Stay away from those.
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19. She turns you down claiming shes not looking for a boyfriend or doesnt have time for one.
"Not looking for a boyfriend" usually is nice-girl code for "not interested." The other though, could go either way. She really might not have time for a boyfriend. Follow up clue: does she regularly hang out with her friends?
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20. She never wants to talk on the phone, only texting.
I prefer text.
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21. She doesn't keep the conversations going.
Again, awkward and tongue-tied.
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22. She takes hours to respond to texts, sometimes she doesn't text at all.
Are you sure you're texting her during her waking hours when she's not in church or at work?
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23. She looks uncomfortable when you flirt with her.
I do, in part because I have no idea how to flirt back, which makes me uncomfortable. I also apparently accidentally flirt.
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24. When you look at her, she doesn't smile or stare back. She looks at you like wtf do you want?
How long have you been looking at her? Do you know this woman from Alice, or are you just staring at some stranger in a purple dress? Oh, by the way, did I mention that my facial expressions often don't match what I'm feeling, and have caused a lot of grief in my life due to being misinterpreted?
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25. She barely likes any your statuses or photos on Facebook.
I had an account on Facebook a long time ago. Technically, I still have one. I just never log on anymore.
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26. When you hang out with her, she never focuses all of her attention on you.
To be fair, you should try to say something interesting and not pick a distracting environment. Then again, if you do that, I'll probably just um or uh or not say anything at all and try not to look directly at you.
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27. She never invites you anywhere to events or parties.
I never go to any.
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28. She is not over her ex. When you're with her, she talks about her ex all the time.
Stay away from those too.
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29. When she talks about her future, she never mentions you as a part of her future.
I've been planning my future for a long time, a lot longer than we've known each other, whoever you are. I was planning to invest in a small vacation house in a desirable location and rent it out to vacationers when I was nine for instance.
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30. She acts like she really likes you then she vanishes for a few days then she comes back and pretends she likes you again, then she dissapears again. She may have a boyfriend or husband and shes not really interested in you, just using you for sex or something
She may be, or she may have a messy work schedule, and a messy family life, or maybe she's just plain awkward. Seriously, I do that to my friends a lot. A few seem kind of bothered by it, but most of them just know that's how I am, and a few are like me.
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31. She never wants to kiss you.
Have you offered her some gum first and chewed some yourself? I'm paranoid about kissing someone with either of us having bad breath, and I'm not the only one.
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32. If you think she isn't in to you, then she's probably not.
Possibly true. Possibly, you're bad at reading her.
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33. You openly talk about your obsession with farting.
Some people are into that. I'm not one of them, but if that's what makes you both happy, I'm not going to pass judgement.
Here's another clue-
She sends you this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JHT-PI ... 7MiB6FDGta
20 Feb 2015, 2:32 pm
