Would you date a girl who doesn't wear dresses?

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LillaA
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07 Mar 2015, 8:04 am

I grew up in a very conservative home where we wore skirts and dresses for religious reasons. As an adult, I'm not part of that society anymore and have no desire to associate with it, so I rarely rarely ever wear any sort of skirt or dress since it makes me feel like I look like a religious crazy person. (Not saying religious skirt wearers are all crazy, but my family was, so that's my association.) So, I'm a 230 pound woman who only owns 2 skirts which are both waaaaay too small for me (I think they're size 10 and 12 - I could wear them on one leg, but no way around my stomach/butt!), and my man has never once had any issue with me not wearing skirts. It's really not that big of a deal to most guys, as evidenced by this thread.

And...I've always been a bigger build - I was a Size 10-12 with "birthing hips" bigger than that size when I was a teenager and unhealthfully skinny, so I've never been and never could be the 98 pound "perfect 10" blonde chick. I've never been whistled at in the street (or really dressed in a way to attract that - I had low self-confidence and it showed in my clothing choices), but my man is one that all the girls chased. So, it's not that I got stuck with the "leftovers" since I was bigger and didn't wear skirts; I got the cream of the crop. We chatted together at work, then outside of work, then became best friends, then became lovers. All the while, he had women throwing themselves at him that were a Size 0, or were popular, or always had their hair and makeup in place, or this-that-and-the-other...but he chose me. Cause he saw inside of me. He's Aspie, and I've seen some evidence that Aspies are generally a bit less appearance-focused, but regardless of the reasons, he loved who I was regardless of what size I wore or whether I was wearing pants or skirts. (And the pants I wore to work were hideous...the only ones I could find at the second-hand store that fit, but they would've looked more appropriate on a 60-year-old lady than a 19-year-old.)

Besides...as far as physical traits are concerned...doesn't no-clothes matter more than any clothes? :oops:


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KimD
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07 Mar 2015, 3:27 pm

LillaA wrote:
I grew up in a very conservative home where we wore skirts and dresses for religious reasons. As an adult, I'm not part of that society anymore and have no desire to associate with it, so I rarely rarely ever wear any sort of skirt or dress since it makes me feel like I look like a religious crazy person.
__________________________________________________________________

Besides...as far as physical traits are concerned...doesn't no-clothes matter more than any clothes? :oops:


Love the bit about no clothes! :lol:

Having to dress up was one of the reasons I didn't want to go to church when I was young, too. Having to wear dresses which made it hard to run and climb with the other kids on the playground, and those &%^ Mary Jane shoes that left me skidding all about the building definitely left a negative impression of church on me, even at an early age. When I figured out that Jesus/God shouldn't actually care what you look like when you go to worship, I wasn't satisfied when my parents justified their stance by basically admitting that we had to "keep up appearances."

Even now, I'm relieved that I don't have to wear fru-fru or stiff, tailored suits to work. I'm short with broad shoulders, a stumpy torso and no hips, so a lot of business attire is really unflattering, and more importantly, uncomfortable. Bleh! :roll:



Ichinin
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07 Mar 2015, 3:34 pm

This is really not a big problem. So, yes.



Anachron
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10 Mar 2015, 7:36 pm

When you decide to buy a home, would you base your decision on the curtains?



yellowtamarin
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11 Mar 2015, 5:03 am

Anachron wrote:
When you decide to buy a home, would you base your decision on the curtains?

No, people usually say "nevermind, I can change that once I own it". 8O

:lol:



LillaA
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11 Mar 2015, 5:14 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Anachron wrote:
When you decide to buy a home, would you base your decision on the curtains?

No, people usually say "nevermind, I can change that once I own it". 8O

:lol:

You'd honestly be surprised how many people *don't* say that with certains. :x I think this is definitely one of the areas that ASD people excel. My dad worked in the real estate field for awhile and you would not believe how many people would decide in favor of or against a house based on things that wouldn't even be there once they bought it - furniture, curtains, etc. - or things that can be changed for about $100 (like paint) so are really inconsequential when looking at a $300,000+ house.

Anachron's point is right that anyone rationale wouldn't base their decision on curtains, nor are their decisions based on clothes (whether one looks well-kept or not can matter, but not whether that's with pants or skirts), so not disputing his point...just having a mini-rage about all the people who are buying houses without the common sense to do so. :P


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Lazar_Kaganovich
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11 Mar 2015, 12:35 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I'm a girl and dresses don't look right on me. They cling to my stomach and butt. I feel ugly because I can't wear dresses, skirts, short shorts and high heels.

My question is, would you date a girl who doesn't like to wear dresses? I try not to let fear of never finding a boyfriend because I can dress perfect (tight dresses and heels). I wear makeup, I shower, I wear Victoria's Secret perfume (along with other brands), I wear women's clothes, I read manga, I love anime, I play a large variety of video games and feel like I am a total package minus my ability to wear dresses.



Yes I would. I would buy her a dress that fits(along with a pair of high heels) and try to persuade her to wear it. It sounds like you lack confidence in your body and that's something you really need to work on. You DON'T have to have a specific figure to wear dresses, skirts, and heels!! !



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12 Mar 2015, 8:05 am

Quote:
Yes I would. I would buy her a dress that fits(along with a pair of high heels) and try to persuade her to wear it.


So you would date her, but pressure her to change for you.
Imagine a woman saying, "I would date a man who doesn't like sports. I would buy him a football jersey and take him to football games."
That doesn't make any sense, does it?



xxZeromancerlovexx
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12 Mar 2015, 1:26 pm

YippySkippy wrote:
Quote:
Yes I would. I would buy her a dress that fits(along with a pair of high heels) and try to persuade her to wear it.


So you would date her, but pressure her to change for you.
Imagine a woman saying, "I would date a man who doesn't like sports. I would buy him a football jersey and take him to football games."
That doesn't make any sense, does it?


I don't think he meant it that way. I'm in no way shape or form trying to change for men. I like the look of dresses skirts and heels.


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15 Mar 2015, 8:22 am

Lazar: you're not likely going to have another date after you try to dress a woman up. The mere idea that you think you could find something that fits her when you barely know her, that you understand what her tastes might be when it comes to something she doesn't want in the first place, and that she wouldn't be sorely tempted to knock you into the next century is a major red flag! She ain't Barbie, and Julia Roberts' "Pretty Woman" was a prostitute!



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15 Mar 2015, 8:36 am

I was once wildly turned on by a woman who only wore torn-up jeans and tee-shirts.

I wouldn't like it if a woman wore dirty clothes, though. I wouldn't try to "dress up her," though.



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15 Mar 2015, 9:03 am

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I'm a girl and dresses don't look right on me. They cling to my stomach and butt. I feel ugly because I can't wear dresses, skirts, short shorts and high heels.

My question is, would you date a girl who doesn't like to wear dresses? I try not to let fear of never finding a boyfriend because I can dress perfect (tight dresses and heels). I wear makeup, I shower, I wear Victoria's Secret perfume (along with other brands), I wear women's clothes, I read manga, I love anime, I play a large variety of video games and feel like I am a total package minus my ability to wear dresses.



Yes I would. I would buy her a dress that fits(along with a pair of high heels) and try to persuade her to wear it. It sounds like you lack confidence in your body and that's something you really need to work on. You DON'T have to have a specific figure to wear dresses, skirts, and heels!! !


Where written is the stupid rule that a girl can only be and look confident while wearing dresses/skirts and heels?

If you wanna make a girl feel confident tell her she looks lovely in whatever she's comfortable wearing and leave it at that.



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15 Mar 2015, 9:36 am

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I'm a girl and dresses don't look right on me. They cling to my stomach and butt. I feel ugly because I can't wear dresses, skirts, short shorts and high heels.

My question is, would you date a girl who doesn't like to wear dresses?
Well I am married but if I were not this would be no problem for me.
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I wear makeup, ...... I wear Victoria's Secret perfume (along with other brands)
That would be a deal breaker for me, as one of gifts that Asperger's has bestowed on me is a hyper reactived sensory system and most perfumes aftershaves and a few flowers contain scent elements that are overwhelming to me. On the plus side I can detect gas leaks before everyone else I have ever met and with a few exceptions like getting too close to lilacs the scent of spring blossoms seems to be a greater favorable experience for me. But then I cannot go into the soap and laundry aisle in the grocery store unless I hold my breath the entire time I am there. I have to know where the "safe soap products" are. Hold my breath, go get what I want and then escape before my next breath. Most people don't notice unless it is a very long aisle and I have to run in and out :lol: :roll: . We aspies can seem weird sometimes. I also have to deodorize some items I check out of the library because of hand lotions that have left lots of perfume residue.




I try not to let fear of never finding a boyfriend because I can dress perfect (tight dresses and heels). I wear makeup, I shower, I wear Victoria's Secret perfume (along with other brands), I wear women's clothes, I read manga, I love anime, I play a large variety of video games and feel like I am a total package minus my ability to wear dresses.[/quote]


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15 Mar 2015, 10:30 pm

No cloths at all would be awesome!


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15 Mar 2015, 11:12 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
No cloths at all would be awesome!
You are absolutely correct. Besides being an Aspie, I am a naturist. I sometimes go for days without wearing clothes (unless you count the shoes for my very tender feet) I walk for hours in my woods with nothing on. It is probably part of my Aspiness, but my hyper responsive nervous system gives me absolutely wonderful feelings as the breeze bathes the entirety of my body. Curiously enough with all my skin bare my body temperature is able to self regulate for a surprising range of air temperatures. Whole body exposure to cool air causes my metabolism to ramp up to keep me warm, and if it is too hot perspiration can evaporate from the entirety of my body to cool me. I can do heavy labor or slowly amble through my woods and meditate in comfort with pleasant stimulations, It is a great way to meditate and reliably brings a sense of peace and well being. Fall and Spring are the best as there is more variety to the environment and a lot fewer bugs, especially ticks.


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15 Mar 2015, 11:29 pm

outlander wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
No cloths at all would be awesome!
You are absolutely correct. Besides being an Aspie, I am a naturist. I sometimes go for days without wearing clothes (unless you count the shoes for my very tender feet) I walk for hours in my woods with nothing on. It is probably part of my Aspiness, but my hyper responsive nervous system gives me absolutely wonderful feelings as the breeze bathes the entirety of my body. Curiously enough with all my skin bare my body temperature is able to self regulate for a surprising range of air temperatures. Whole body exposure to cool air causes my metabolism to ramp up to keep me warm, and if it is too hot perspiration can evaporate from the entirety of my body to cool me. I can do heavy labor or slowly amble through my woods and meditate in comfort with pleasant stimulations, It is a great way to meditate and reliably brings a sense of peace and well being. Fall and Spring are the best as there is more variety to the environment and a lot fewer bugs, especially ticks.

Your woods? Is this public woodland near your place, or do you have woodland on your own property? If the latter, I'm very envious :) I'd run around naked in my own woods too! (Or bush, as we call it here, which sounds like no less of an innuendo :P)