Differing intelligences

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Hi,

I'm in need of a bit of advice.

I fell in love with my current girlfriend over a year ago at a "special interest" seminar (I don't want to say what it is for anonymity's sake).

We both have had difficult life situations in the past. We instantly bonded mainly over emotional content.

We have been dating for six months now, though we have been friends for over a year and a half.

One issue I have identified is that our intelligences differ substantially. She is highly accomplished in her musical abilities (we are both musicians), but reads less than one book per year (or even less), cannot spell simple words due to some learning issues (this is less frustrating than the fact that I really like vocabulary and words, and she doesn't), generally is not aware of historical events or eras, scientific phenomena, composers, authors, artists, current singers or music, philosophy, etc.

She isn't curious about intellectual topics, whereas I generally am insatiably curious. She has high levels of interest in other topics like social work, counseling, or how humans process emotions, tragedy, etc., which I find fascinating, but sometimes I think it's a limited area to talk about all the time. It is perhaps worth noting that I have attended a top-tier university, and while I wasn't the brightest person in that entire school, I did make it there and I do thrive on new information. I say this fact to emphasize the overall type of person I am -- brainy, not a genius, but definitely intellectually curious, fairly knowledgeable about a broad range of topics, and deeply knowledgeable about certain special topics. In addition, both of my parents are well-educated -- combined they know 10 languages, are incredibly well-read and are knowledgeable in other ways, too. This is the environment I am used to and am comfortable with. It goes beyond cultural snobbery...they really did care about being informed in order to make good choices and have a connection to the past.

As the honeymoon phase is wearing off, I am starting to feel frustrated. How will we have conversations about topics other than past traumas or ways of processing emotions? I find those topics great, but I also am really interested in intellectual things, and she isn't.

Maybe I'm just experiencing the second-guessing that comes after those intense love-promoting brain chemicals wear down a bit. But it does worry me.

Can I rely on friends for intellectual stimulation, or will this problem continue to grow larger?
I really do love this person, and my goal in life is to try to accept her for who she is. It's a highly emotionally satisfying relationship in a lot of ways. I do, however, realize that if my needs aren't being met, I might lash out. I want to avoid that. I'm not sure if there is a solution here. Maybe I am just overthinking it.

Opposites attract..

Maybe you just need to get your intellectual fix outside of your relationship? Books, conversations & interactions with others about your interests, internet forums/emails/chats etc. Your romantic partner shouldn't be expected to fulfill e v e r y need you have in your life, IMO.

While it's not a romantic relationship, I'm a fair bit like yourself & my closest friend a lot more like your girlfriend. I'm a bit more of an engineering/finance type, while my friend is a lot more artistic & about feelings and such. We're quite opposite in many ways, yet have several mutual interests. We talk about mutual interests mainly. I try to limit my talk about stuff that bores him. I get my creative fix & good friend vibes when I'm around him, and get my intellectual stimulation on my own time. We've been close friends for over 3 years now & have maintained a decent balance even though we're fairly opposite in several ways - educational backgrounds and interests, I read, he doesn't read much, I crunch numbers, he's artsy & a bit musical etc.

Focus on the things you're both interested in already, or new mutual interests, when you're together.. and exercise your brain a little more when you're flying solo, or off to a meeting/class/seminar or online etc. Hopefully there's a little flexibility for both of you.. maybe you could make a bit of an effort to listen to her interests a bit more when she'd like to discuss them, and in turn she could make an effort to engage in a bit more intellectually stimulating conversation with you from time to time - or at least actively listen to you when you'd like to share something with her. These are the sorts of conversations you should have with her to see how the two of you can find a better balance.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I'm alot like your girlfriend OP with not being intelligent & my 2nd ex was intelligent & didn't respect the fact I wasn't. I felt like she didn't respect my opinion when it came to making the decisions in our relationship due to being more intelligent & felt like she kind of talked down to me when I didn't understand things. My advice is to ask yourself if you can handle making sure you don't do those things with your girlfriend & end the relationship if you don't think you can.

Like others have said, you can't always get all of your needs met from one person, alone. I'm a complex person myself, and have never found any person that met all of my needs.

That being said, your partner should be able to at least fulfill some, or most of them. If you are not getting any of your needs met, it is definitely time to move on to someone else.

As far as the intelligence thing goes, I have found that over time, it becomes increasingly frustrating trying to deal with people that are on a totally different level than you are.

For the people with lower intelligence:
They have a hard time understanding you, and many times they feel that they are treated like an "inferior" person around you.

For the people with higher intelligence:
It gets frustrating have to explain (in detail, usually) what you are talking about, trying to get people to understand your point of view. You also feel like you can't have a meaningful conversation with the other person.

If this is a problem for you now it will only become moreso. She's not going to get any smarter.
If you are feeling that lashing out might happen I think it might be time to move on.