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omid
Deinonychus
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02 Mar 2015, 12:53 pm

Seriously. Just figured out I might have multiple personalities.
Reason: Massive amnesia and changes in everything relating to my personality all the time. I change personalities every 3 (sometimes longer) days and can't remember shoot about what I was about with the other personality.
Example: I was convinced I have AS for some time (can't quite remember: amnesia) and my mother said I would behave like a picture book autist. Now I'm a completely different person and do not behave like AS at all. I was into spirituality and would talk very interesting spiritual stuff, which would impress anyone, all the time but all of the sudden I'm not into that either and my thoughts that I had written down don't make sense to me what so ever. (they make sense in themselves, but it's as if someone ELSE has written them). Another reason: one day I love cheese, the other day I can't eat cheese at all and can't even remember that I used to like cheese yesterday.
It's quite spooky. But the most spooky part is, I could have convinced any doc I have AS 2 weeks ago but now all the AS is gone! I had true picture book AS.
I need any thought you can imagine on this, but I suppose I'm just writing this and soon enough another personality will take over and I will either completely forget I have written this here or the text above wont make sense to me anymore, like the countless notes I find which could very well be written by someone else..... shooot....


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Aspie score: 131 of 200
NT score: 34 of 200
Possibly Aspie (diagnosed by an autism expert, doc moves abroad, forced to change docs and all say it's schizophrenia NOS or schizo-affective disorde or personality disorders. initial doc was a colleague of uncle Simon btw. you do the math.). (edit: by Uncle Simon I mean Simon Baron Cohen. Just to clear things up.)


slave
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04 Mar 2015, 1:22 am

Find an expert in DID right a way!



heavenlyabyss
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06 Mar 2015, 5:27 am

DID is a controversial diagnosis.

Not sure anything more I could say would be helpful.

If drugs or alcohol are involved (hypothetically), that would be an alternate explanation.

Eh, I don't know.



EyeDash
Deinonychus
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07 Mar 2015, 5:10 pm

I imagine there could be multiple causes for dissociation. I relate to some of what you described. Do you know by any chance if you have a disorder of the corpus callosum? (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/th ... lit-brains) Agenesis or dysgenesis of the CC can result in impairment in inter-communication between hemispheres and affects about 1 in 100,000. Those congenital conditions are also duplicated by callosotomy - intentional severing of the CC that is done for some types of epilepsy. My CC did not form normally, and I experience myself as two personalities. It's a true, non-schizophrenic, form of split personality - both are autistic, but affected somewhat differently by it. One, associated with my left hemisphere, is very logical, unsentimental, can communicate verbally, and tends to be rigid toward change. The other is full of feelings and wants and dreams and frustrations, loves music, literally doesn't understand speech - but can communicate through drawings or sign language, has no sense of self or time. My whole life I've felt like each of my eyes goes to a separate person - in fact my left and right eye don't track together very well. If I'm speaking with someone, forcing me to use the verbal center in my left hemisphere, I lose awareness of the left side of my body. If I try to speak while accessing info that's in my right hemisphere - I lose track of what I'm holding in my left hand or I bump into things with my left arm or leg... When I try to speak and access long-term memory or affect or physical feeling, I develop a really bad stutter and large motor tics. I got bullied as a kid over that and learned to hide it. My CC connection is just not intact. The personality associated with my left hemisphere has a very poor working memory, while the right hemispheric one has near photographic recall back to about 20 months old. Autism spectrum disorders generally affect intercommunication between the brain nuclei as well.

I have days where I 'lose' time - it's a horrible feeling. Or I'll suddenly realize that I've been standing in the kitchen with the cat food in my hand for some minutes just thinking and staring and I can't remember what I had even been thinking, lol. And I can switch when I go outdoors, or if I even walk to another room. Since I was little, I tend to have to repeatedly walk to a room to get an item, like 3 or 4 times, because when I switch, I can't remember what the other personality was intending, lol. Have done that since I was a little kid. I'm 100% autistic, but the logical me has decades of practice passing for neurotypical. The right hemispheric personality feels and suffers when I'm in sensory overwhelm, or social overload. I'm normally reluctant to talk about having this split because I'm afraid of ridicule (grew up with ridicule), but it is something I'm working to deal with in a better way. I do a lot of work with my therapist to make communication happen between these two disjoint selves.

One simple test I did that blew my mind was to cover my right eye when I read, or put in a good earplug in my right ear when I'm listening to speech. I see and hear the individual words go by. But I am unable to remember what was written or said. When I get under extreme stress, I also lose the ability to understand speech.

I've had brain MRIs, have done some sensory integration therapy, and I'm working hard on internal communication. But I haven't run into much info in the literature about therapies.



heavenlyabyss
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19 Mar 2015, 3:28 am

I found an interesting video on dissociative identity disorder. Back in the day it was called multiple personality disorder but that label is no longer in use.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0LNyXsErb8

Not sure if this link works but if it doesn't it's not hard to find by just searching for "dissociative identity disorder documentary."

It's interesting. I watched the video and some of the time I found it hard to believe but some of the time it seemed very convincing. I've taken dissociative drugs so I do believe that dissociative identity disorder is indeed a plausible phenomenon since I've experienced similar things under the influence. I don't hold the opinion that these people are just acting. However, sometimes they behave in a manner that looks like acting and I think it is troubling and disturbing for "normal people" to view.

From what I gather, dissociate identity disorder is usually associated with early childhood abuse. However, it is also possible that it can be influenced by therapists or may occur without early childhood abuse. Not so sure here.



dossa
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19 Mar 2015, 9:28 am

Not an expert here... but I do have a dissociative disorder. Usually this does happen when abuse occurs early in childhood. It is not always the case though. Abuse and trauma are sometimes related, other times they are not. Example, you are child who had health problems. Parents were responsible and took you to medical professionals who were also responsible and put you through a series of tests. Maybe you are afraid of these tests to the point that it seriously traumatized you. If you were young enough when this happened, you may have dissociated as a way to cope (at the end of the day dissociation is a coping mechanism) and for whatever reason dissociation may have lead to a breaking of the core, leading to DID (dissociative identity disorder). While this type of splintering off is rare, it can happen. Not to dismiss false memories or whatever being induced by therapists here, just putting that other stuff out there.

I would also recommend finding a DID expert... good luck with that though. They are few and far between. But a competent one would be far more beneficial to you in making sense of what you do or do not have going on than anyone here would.

Side note... even when I am not dealing with dissociative related issues, I often present as different people on a regular basis. This is largely in part to my ability or inability to cope with what is going on around me. Today, for example, I am much more capable of being verbal and social than I was yesterday. To the eye that knows no better I would seem like a distinctly different person. To people who know me, they know I had a relatively stress free day yesterday and a morning where people have left me the hell alone. That makes more a much more functional me.


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f9
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19 Mar 2015, 10:15 am

1) Put keeping a diary into your calendar alerts - so your phone of computer will tell you to keep a single diary no matter what or how you feel and regardless if you remember it or not. Just tell yourself it's of utmost importance to continue even if you can't recall why
2) actually keep the diary
3) find a DID expert
4) by the time you've found him you'll have some weeks or months worth of the diary showing the changes in your personality
5) talk to the expert, show him the diary and ask how to manage the changing personality - how to cope and have some integrity regardless.



omid
Deinonychus
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19 Mar 2015, 10:21 am

Thank you guys I believe I just over reacted and thought i have it because I went through some bad mood swings and such. I'm now rather one of those people who believe "you get it by reading about it" or "you get it because your therapist puts it in your mind" or whatever.
I just can't figure out that much of trauma in my childhood and withount trauma such thing just won't happen. I think that was just my bipolar messing with me.


_________________
Male
Aspie score: 131 of 200
NT score: 34 of 200
Possibly Aspie (diagnosed by an autism expert, doc moves abroad, forced to change docs and all say it's schizophrenia NOS or schizo-affective disorde or personality disorders. initial doc was a colleague of uncle Simon btw. you do the math.). (edit: by Uncle Simon I mean Simon Baron Cohen. Just to clear things up.)