Why would he tell me this?

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I like this guy, I'm pretty sure he has Asperger's, and I think he likes me back. Nothing happened between us for months because I'm shy, so I never did anything. All we ever did was stare at each other. But recently he's been hanging around a friend of his, a girl, and they often hug in front of me. She's been trying to get close to him. So I finally confronted him and told him I wanted to get to know him and thought it was mutual. He told me the girl he was with used to be his girlfriend, and that he had been in another relationship with someone else earlier in the year. But he's single now and I can talk to him anytime. She still hangs around him all the time.

A mutual friend told me that as far as he knows, this guy has never had a girlfriend before. And they're very close so he knows him well. So why would he make that up? Was it just out of insecurity? And he must know that this other girl likes him, right? Otherwise why would he claim that she was once his girlfriend? And if he's single now, why would he feel the need to tell me about his past relationships? I wasn't sure why he bothered to bring it up.

I'd just like some of your opinions on this. Thanks guys, much appreciated.

Answer #1: Maybe you should ask him, instead of us or your "mutual friend". Only the Aspie guy knows the whole truth.

Answer #2: He may think that having no girlfriend - past or present - is equated with being a loser. Losers don't attract girlfriends. Ergo, he may want you to think that he is not a loser and that he is worth your time and interest.

Advice: I say overlook this, and try to get to know him better. Your "mutual friend" may not know enough to say what the Aspie guy's history is all about. He may also be lying to you in order to have his own chance with you.

This whole situation sounds a little weird to me. Normally, if someone is interested in you, they wouldn't be doing things like that, unless they were trying to attract your attention. If that's the case, I would consider this as "playing games". No matter how you look at it, I would say that he is immature...at least when it comes to relationships.

We're both only 19, so I wouldn't doubt that he's immature. But I thought someone with Asperger's wouldn't play dumb games like that? And I do still want to get to know him better...but this whole situation makes it difficult

aspies vary, so maybe half to most won't but some will play games. I don't even know if half won't. I know I don't and thats all I can vouch for.

Yup all of us aspies are all different from each other in terms of personality. No idea why he would lie, maybe because you wouldn't like him if he never had a gf before. idk

I agree that every Aspie is different and has different logic. But one reason could be that he may have misinterpreted things in the past that led him to believe they were in a relationship when the feeling wasn't mutual.

Example: In 8th grade, I went to a dance with one of my female friends. We danced a lot, held hands, overall a great time. I considered it a date. She didn't. And when word got back to her that I was telling people about our "date", she got mad and yelled at me. I was completely confused.

Also, he probably didn't say it to hurt you. He probably was just pointing out in a weird way that he's interested in you (I sometimes say weird things that make my fiancee jealous without realizing they mean something else). Point is, as stated, you should probably just ask him what he meant by it or let it go.

Thanks for all of your answers guys...

Do you think I should just give him my number and leave it up to him to decide? That way it's crystal clear that I am interested. And if I never hear from him after that, it'll be crystal clear that he is NOT interested. I think that's what I'm going to do...

crystalclear evidence of interest is established if you say the words: "i am interested."
not one moment before. dont rely on any conventions about showing interest, if you want it say so.

I agree with CivMaster. Especially if you give him your number, as many Aspies have trouble calling people, even if they know they're interested. I had a woman give me her number and I fretted for like a whole week about calling her, even though looking back she was clearly interested. It ended up causing her to misinterpret it as me blowing her off and by the time I did call, she didn't want to talk to me anymore.

If I were you, I'd simply pull him aside and say "Hey, I like you a lot. I think we should start dating" or something similar. If he is an Aspie, he's likely going to have trouble making the first move until he knows for certain the feeling is mutual. I know it goes against social norm but pretend like it's a Sadie Hawkins dance and make your move.

Yah I suck at calling and texting people. I'm getting better though.

It kind of sounds like he could have lied about the girl being his ex because he likes her and wants to keep his option open to date her if she decides to try and date him. Your story gives off a shady vibe. In any case, I wouldn't go for him. But I'm also an overanalyzer. They could just be friends now and they give friendly hugs and his friend is wrong and they were official before.

It already sounds like you care enough and he has this other girl in the way, but I'd say give him your number or whatever and see where it goes.

You're relying on third parties for indirect information of dubious quality... this Aspie guy you like, whom you clearly do not know very well, well, why not try to get to know him better in a sort of group setting? It sounds like you run in the same crowd, so hanging out with him in a group of mutual friends/acquaintances at a [post-work drinks event, movie, whatever] will allow you to 1) get to know him better and 2) find out if he REALLY is singke or not. Win-win!