Can you be a heterosexual homoromantic?

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CryingTears15
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09 Mar 2015, 10:36 am

If so, how will you approach relationships? And should you identify as straight or gay?



kraftiekortie
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09 Mar 2015, 4:58 pm

If you want me to be honest:

I probably wouldn't like it if I had a girlfriend who didn't feel romantic for me--but only felt romantic toward other girls. It actually happened to me once!

Do you feel SEXUAL towards girls/woman at all?



CryingTears15
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09 Mar 2015, 5:29 pm

All my explicit dreams involve girls and women, but all the people I'd consider doing it with in waking hours are guys! D:

To be even more unsure, myself doing the deed seems wrong somehow. So it's like I feel like I'd like to do it with someone but then I picture it and just no.



kraftiekortie
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09 Mar 2015, 5:37 pm

How do you feel when you KISS a guy? Or when you fantasize about kissing guys? It's a more important question than you think. I think one's sexual orientation is based upon how one feels when they kiss a guy or a girl.

How do you feel when you kiss a girl?

I've had the misfortunate of having guys kiss me. I felt like vomiting when that happened. I only like to kiss women. I'm heterosexual. I can't see myself becoming "romantic" with a guy.

I get the feeling that you might actually be bisexual--that you really like both sexes/genders.

Nothing wrong with that. You're lucky in a way, if you're bisexual.



kraftiekortie
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09 Mar 2015, 6:19 pm

LOL...I just realized: your avatar is the Energizer Bunny!

Are you that energetic? :D



CryingTears15
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09 Mar 2015, 7:35 pm

Idk. I guess?

Anyways, it's hard for me to picture. I want to wait until I actually kiss someone. But the people I notice like that are all guys.



kraftiekortie
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09 Mar 2015, 7:51 pm

I think I know what you're getting at.

I think there are women are "attracted" to woman in a sort of romantic sense--though they wouldn't think of having sex with them. In adolescence, I find this to be quite common--probably more common than with adults. It looks erotic to an outside observer--but it really isn't.

My guess is that you're primarily heterosexual--yet have some feelings for women. Maybe you would feel fulfilled, in a sense, hugging a woman, and maybe you feel "romantic" in a sense, because you feel like you have more in common with women. You identify with each other, you become "intimate," but not sexual.

You don't really feel "romantic" with men as of yet--maybe you haven't found the "right guy." 16 year-old guys are not really that romantic, most of the time; they are horny beings! But you, evidently, have the "hots" for them--more so than anybody who is a lesbian, certainly.



kraftiekortie
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12 Mar 2015, 9:28 am

I wish you luck in your future romantic endeavors.



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15 Mar 2015, 10:53 am

Yes, you can. It's frustrating, but it happens.


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CryingTears15
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31 Mar 2015, 1:40 pm

I still would like to kiss girls and anything short of full on sex.

But I think your stance on how adolescent girls view other adolescent girls interesting. I have long been skeptical of all the bisexual adolescent girls I see running around. I've wondered about why they are.

But... I am wondering if I really am bisexual. The one female I like very well I have thought about sex with... I've liked the idea. But I used to think lesbians were gross. I used to be into lesbian porn, but I stopped watching porn. But I still generally think of guys sexually. And the thought of myself romantically with any man just makes me uncomfortable. I could be fwbs, but not partners. With girls, I have far less an automatic "hot dAMN" reaction, but how I would love to go out with some of the girls in my school.

I am hesitant to call myself bisexual/pansexual/polysexual, because I keep seeing all these bi/pan/poly teenagers running around with only kissing at most two genders. And there are so many bisexual teenage girls, like I said. I don't want to buy into a trend mindlessly.



Kiriae
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31 Mar 2015, 4:40 pm

I am apparently bisexual homoromantic.

My body seems able to react to both sexes but I was only able to really fall in love with a girl so far. I had a few guy crushes but it was more pragmatic than romantic feeling. In love relationship I like acting like a male - helping to stand up and put on a jacket, walking home, paying for tickets - stuffs like that. I feel happy and fulfilled when I act this way. But it feels wrong when I try to do it towards a male. And if I try fitting the female, submissive role and soon I get intimidated and bored.



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08 Apr 2015, 12:19 pm

I am bisexual and I've felt more romantic towards men in the past, but I feel that I find females most attractive. I am attracted to the ideas of giving and receiving oral with both men and women, but I struggle with the idea of intercourse because I associate it with children and giving birth. Can't seem to get that out of my head. I've never had a significant other in my life, but I was forcibly kissed my a man AND a woman as a child; don't know if that has anything to do with it. The idea of kissing actually is even less appealing to me than intercourse, because I feel you would have to feel emotional for the person to kiss them, and I don't feel close to people easily.



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11 Apr 2015, 6:53 pm

Yes.

CryingTears15 wrote:
If so, how will you approach relationships?

That's not easy to answer. I'd say, approach straight relationships the same way as before, except maybe tell people that you are bi because some people want to know about same sex attraction.
Approach same-sex relationships as an asexual.

Quote:
And should you identify as straight or gay?

The truth is that "gay," "straight" and the concept of "sexual orientation" are kind of vague. At the point of being heterosexual homoromantic, a person is bumping up against the conceptual limits of the terms, and I don't see what else one could do but abandon hope of a simple identity and interpret the terms as one sees fit, possibly abandon them altogether and embrace or create another term.



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11 Jun 2015, 7:58 pm

CryingTears15 wrote:
If so, how will you approach relationships? And should you identify as straight or gay?


You can be anything you want to be...just be real. :)