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rascalnky
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16 Mar 2015, 12:19 pm

Hope I'm at the right place to get some answers to help me deal with my life now. Going to try and make this story short as I can. I am married to my best friend, the wife and I have the relationship that others had to work for. We both worked hard our whole life and raised 7 boys and never had any government help ever. We retire for health reasons and plan on moving to our dream, cabin in the Smokey Mtns. We have several grandkids but one granddaughter was our favorite. She wanted to stay with us all the time and she actually lived with us twice. She has a brother that we were not permitted to see over a falling out with his parent. We never met the boy until he was almost a year old. The parents abandoned the kids at this time and they lived with a aunt who tried to raise them but lasted a year and she gave up because it was destroying her marriage. they move into another aunt and the state removed them the day we closed on selling our property. We didn't want the kids in foster care so we came up with a plan. We would take our granddaughter ( going to refer to her as G and her brother as J ) and my wife's ex husband would take J. When we went to court the ex changed his mind and backed out so we ended up with both. Now J has been a cry baby since birth and he is ADHD, ODD, has autism spectrum and a few other things wrong. J does not show any love and does not want to be kissed or hugged. He stays mad at the world and does get violent. He has been in a mental ward for trying to kill his self and threating others, he has attacked G trying to hurt her. J has been to counselors and therapist and they agree he has problems. If you just touch the kid say to get his attention he will start screaming you hurt him. We don't take him with us when we go to the store because he will cause a scene every time. I am really just getting to know J and I am starting not to like him. We pay a day care to get away from him and we are on our third one in 5 months because he is a disruption. Neither parent sees the kids nor supports the kids so our retirement is going out the window. My wish is to keep G and say goodbye to J but the state doesn't want to split them up. How would you feel to do the above and the kid tell you I don't like you. He thinks he is the boss at 3 and tells me to be quiet. I have never whipped J yet but time out doesn't work. When the kid walks he always has his hands in his pocket and head tilted to the right. Any clue of what that is, I know he is behind on his motor and social skills but when you don't get appreciated and talked to like a dog and without him we would be so much happier but cant take a chance on losing G. She is a angel and she doesn't deserve it either but goes to show what drugs do to kids when the mother still uses while pregnant. Told my wife I don't want a divorce from you but I cant live in the same house with J any longer. The wife takes pride of our home but if we divorce some one else will enjoy it because it will have to be sold. And its because of J, guess you can tell I'm mad at the kid right now but he was never suppose to live here. We don't get a dime from no one because we don't qualify and parents are deadbeats but we do get health ins. for now on them. Any suggestions on where to send J would be great but don't want to hear I need patience because they have been abused and don't have any more for J



RoadRatt
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16 Mar 2015, 2:39 pm

Hey rascalnky welcome. :sunny:


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AnonymousAnonymous
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20 Mar 2015, 6:53 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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starkid
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27 Mar 2015, 5:06 pm

You might be better off asking for advice in the parenting sub-forum. I don't know much about this sort of situation at all, but I don't see why you couldn't use legal force to get the parents to pay child support, which might help you put the kid in some kind of care program beyond basic daycare.