Were Nice Guys Always the Pariah?

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Were Nice Guys Always the Pariah?
Yes, always from the beginning of time. 52%  52%  [ 16 ]
No, only since before the Civil War. 3%  3%  [ 1 ]
No, only since 1880's (Gilded Age and high inequality). 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No, only since 1920's (rise of urban growth and crime). 10%  10%  [ 3 ]
No, only since 1960's (breakdown of traditional values). 19%  19%  [ 6 ]
No, only since 1990's (rise of the internet/cell phones). 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
No, only since some other time period. 10%  10%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 31

Aspie1
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23 Mar 2015, 9:30 am

We all know that nice guys are the pariah in the dating world. But was that always the case? Was being a nice guy---or Nice Guy(TM), for that matter, although this thread isn't about distinguishing the two---ever OK in the dating world? Did nice guys become rejects/pariahs only recently? Post your votes in the poll, and add comments, if you wish.



kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2015, 9:48 am

I think it's possible that, until the age of 25 or so, nice guys (or Nice Guys) are, to some girls/women, in some degree of pariah-hood.

However, once people reach their 20's, I believe most women have grown up, and accept a more complex guy than one who fits the "Alpha" stereotype.

I'm an Epsilon Guy myself.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2015, 9:56 am

I am a Gamma guy, the lady should wear an anti-radiation hazmat suit before dating me.



Bondkatten
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23 Mar 2015, 10:05 am

I'm a woman and I never liked the alpha sort of guy. I have a nice guy, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Some people like "bad" people but most people like nice people. And don't forget that in the past women didn't really have a choice when it came to who they would marry.



dossa
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23 Mar 2015, 10:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am a Gamma guy, the lady should wear an anti-radiation hazmat suit before dating me.


Heh heh heh.


I do not know that nice guys are the pariah of the dating world. Of course I would fail to truly understand if there is any truth in that statement or not so much. I reject the dating world.

It is a rather new concept, in the big picture, to couple up with someone based on niceness or lack thereof. This is still a foreign concept in some parts of the world. It used to be that people would pair up out of necessity, sharing resources, family familiarity, proximity, and other more practical things. Still is in some cases.

I never much cared if someone was some kind of macho alpha type or not. I am a shameless sucker for intelligence.


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Alyosha
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23 Mar 2015, 10:34 am

i think a lot of this comes down to people answqer what is more important in a relationship 'passion' or 'dedication' with passion. nice guys are though of as less passion.

als theres nothing wrong with being a nice guy but you dont want someone who is just a nice guy. im a bisexual man and i dont go for ;bad guys'. but the guy that i have been with for many years is not a 'nice guy'. hes a funny guy nerdy guy, kind guy. sometimes being kind means you cant be nice. id rather have someone be kind.

but for girls i do have a certain liking for mean girls. which is why oi generally avoid dating them because theyre mean and really its better not to surround yourself with mean people.

but for girls and nice guys. i dont think its as straightforward as 'girls dont like nice guys' but a guy who says hes a nice guy is kind of a worry. plus you can bring a passion while still being a kind person. but just nice is a bit bland.



kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2015, 10:36 am

I'm a "passionate" guy---and pretty nice (most of the time).



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2015, 10:40 am

What I am a self-proclaimed jerk, what that makes me?



Aaendi
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23 Mar 2015, 10:48 am

It only started happening in the last 10 years. It used to be that if there were any nice guys that didn't get dates, they were few and far apart, and it was unintentional. Nowadays women go out of their ways to abuse nice guys, because it's "cool."



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2015, 11:07 am

Behold the Nice Guys anthem!

All should stand up and show respect.



Alyosha
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23 Mar 2015, 11:21 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Behold the Nice Guys anthem!

All should stand up and show respect.




ok if this is true representaiton of what people mean when they say nice guys. i think they problem is not just 'girls hate nice guys they want mean guys' it's nice guys look for mean girls who will take advantage of them? if this is the situation as it is.

Quote:
I'm a "passionate" guy---and pretty nice (most of the time).


i didnt mean that the two are actually impossible to find together i mean that because people think iut isnt they assume its not. (personally i much prefer dedication than passion because passion is fleeting and dedication takes you through time with no passion)

people have wanted to date people who dont want to date them for ages. i mean little women with teddy and jo could be an example of the 'nice guy' phenomenon and that is much older than 10 years.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2015, 11:39 am

I've learned from the video that liquid soap is Nice Guy's best friend:lol:.

The whole Nice guy/friendzone thing happens when a guy tries to reach a girl who's way above his level, usually looks-wise.
He knows that so he befriends her falsely hoping he might attract her; he won't.



MollyTroubletail
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23 Mar 2015, 11:50 am

Speaking only for myself, if you're a nice guy and live close to me, I'd probably want to date you.



kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2015, 12:22 pm

Ever heard the Little Richard song "Good Golly Miss Molly?"



MollyTroubletail
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23 Mar 2015, 1:08 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Ever heard the Little Richard song "Good Golly Miss Molly?"


No but your bringing it up is annoying. Next.... :D



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23 Mar 2015, 1:32 pm

There is no prejudice or conspiracy against nice guys and never has been.

Water seeks its own level. Seek yours. If you're pining over people who aren't like you to begin with, you're going to be disappointed. They have nothing in common with you and they can sense it.

If you're outta your league and you know it, soap your hand!


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