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Is it ok to put a barrier around your heart?

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AspieOtaku
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26 Mar 2015, 3:29 am

I have been hurt many times in the past and have issues trusting people today and have placed a barrier around myheart is this a good thing?


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goldfish21
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26 Mar 2015, 1:46 pm

If it prevents you from being hurt, sure.

But if it prevents you from giving or receiving love, then it may not be such a good thing.

Depends on your own rules & parameters and how you intend to use this barrier, really.


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AspieOtaku
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29 Mar 2015, 4:11 am

I want to love and be loved again but am afraid I will be hurt again.


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29 Mar 2015, 7:45 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
I have been hurt many times in the past and have issues trusting people today and have placed a barrier around myheart is this a good thing?


It's your call. Exclusively. If you like going through life with a barrier around your heart, carry on. If not, well, do something else.



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29 Mar 2015, 8:14 am

Its definitely not a good thing....but I do it as well. I recently let my guard down and, true, I don't know for certain things aren't going to work out......I just happened to pick a girl who has had a lot of bad past relationship traumas, among other things. She lets me get close, pushes me away, back and forth yada yada yada.

I say keep your walls up and only let your wall down brick by brick rather than demolishing the thing next time someone comes your way......but thats just my opinion *shrugs*



Cafeaulait
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29 Mar 2015, 1:49 pm

No, it's not. Winners do things losers don't do, remember that.
I got hurt before in relationships, but I open myself up to new people every time. You can't experience the peaks without the slopes. Taking risks is part of life.



CockneyRebel
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30 Mar 2015, 12:01 am

I had a barrier around my heart for 2 and a half years, 8 years ago. It was the worst 2 and a half years of my life.


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AspieOtaku
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30 Mar 2015, 3:17 am

I guess I could lower my guard but I don't know who I should lower my guard to my heart to I am scared but at the same time I don't want to be lonely I have been alone and in fear for so long and feel bad for rejecting those who wanted to connect I am confused! I want to love again and be loved but I am also afraid!WTF do I do?it all seems like a gamble to me if I give my all Ill have my heart destroyed at a high risk I don't know what to do I am afraid and confused but don't want to be alone anymore!


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30 Mar 2015, 7:34 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
I guess I could lower my guard but I don't know who I should lower my guard to my heart to I am scared but at the same time I don't want to be lonely I have been alone and in fear for so long and feel bad for rejecting those who wanted to connect I am confused! I want to love again and be loved but I am also afraid!WTF do I do?it all seems like a gamble to me if I give my all Ill have my heart destroyed at a high risk I don't know what to do I am afraid and confused but don't want to be alone anymore!


Maybe seek counseling for Fear of Intimacy?



AngelRho
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31 Mar 2015, 6:19 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
I have been hurt many times in the past and have issues trusting people today and have placed a barrier around myheart is this a good thing?

Yes.

People are way too emotional about becoming romantically involved. Instead, surround yourself with those you feel most compatible with. Keep your eyes and mind open, take notice of who you're around most often. Be crazy about those who are crazy about you. Make wise decisions in mates, THEN let your feelings get carried away. Too many people lose their heads about people they don't even really know.