Two Aspies dating each other. Stories, advice?

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Uncanny_Valerie
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27 Mar 2015, 8:35 pm

I recently got back into online dating. I messaged a guy I thought seemed interesting and within a couple of days of chatting we found out we were both Aspie, and we rejoiced.

It's not clear whether it will be a friendship or more, because it's probably going to be hard to meet for a while (distance). I have relationship experience and he has none. We are both over 35.

I have a theory that Aspies can understand each other better than NTs can understand us. Do you guys think this is true, or are we just as mind-blind with each other as we are with NTs and am I just having wishful thoughts?

We are a high match, if that indicates anything, but I'm also a high match with non-Aspie guys on the site. So I could be wrong.

Also, for those men over 30 with no relationship history, can you give me an idea of what you might need from a woman in terms of understanding and support? Or should I just ask him all this up front? I love that I might not have to play coy neurotypical love games with this fella.



kraftiekortie
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27 Mar 2015, 8:56 pm

I think: when people have common interests--whether NT or Aspie--that they are able to understand each other.

To be Aspie is not to be totally "mind blind." Aspies don't lack empathy, either. Both are myths, as far as I'm concerned.

Aspies (and many other autistic people, for that matter) are not absolutely devoid of social understanding. What may seem "disordered," to the uninitiated, is the ability to discern social cues in "real time."

Often, they are able to discern these same cues upon subsequent reflection. This happens to me all the time.



nick007
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28 Mar 2015, 3:37 pm

My 2nd ex girlfriend & my current are both on the spectrum & I found them both aLOT easier to talk to than NTs because I'm too direct & straightforward & both girls were/are kind of the same way & we appreciated that in each other.


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