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andyfzr
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03 Apr 2015, 10:48 am

I'm really struggling with depression at this time. I feel like I can't talk to anyone cos I don't know what to say. I can't go anywhere cos I'm not very good around people in general but at the same time I feel so lonely being on my own all the time. Its really frustrating because I just don't feel like I want to do anything and have no interest in anything. I want to go and socialise with people but when I'm with them I can't think of anything to say to them. I want to have some friends but I just don't know how to talk to people and make friends. I can't even think of stuff to say in forums either so I don't even have virtual friends. I just wish this feeling of hopelessness would go away and that I will feel like doing things again but I just feel like its never gonna happen. That's excluding my Aspergers so it just all seems to be getting the better of me and I don't know what to do to make myself interested in doing stuff again.



Ukguy
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04 Apr 2015, 8:57 am

I think I know what you mean, I feel similar. I have depression that comes and goes, no friends, etc. The only people I talk to are my parents and people that are paid to talk to me basically (doctors, professionals, etc).

Do you have an interest in general day to day trivia like average people? I have observed that most people talk about TV programs, the weather, football and so on; they seem to have this ability to chit chat about anything.

I have no interest in talking about most of these things which makes it hard to make friends or acquaintances. I also zone out very quickly so if a topic of interest does come up I rarely know when or how to join in.

I actually just contacted a local charity to see if they know of any support groups or befriending services. Could you consider doing the similar? MIND offer quite a bit for mental health problems but may not understand ASD.

When I was younger I did a fair bit of gaming and "talked" to a lot of other similar people via internet chat rooms or IRC. Now I have no interest in gaming and wouldn't even know where to start with finding a chat room.



andyfzr
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07 Apr 2015, 5:00 pm

Hi, yea I seem to have lost interest in just about everything these days. Even stuff I need to do, I just try my best to get out of it where as one time I was obsessed by pulling things apart and fixing things. I think age has a lot to do with it cos I just don't feel like I fit in anymore. I used to have quite a few friends but over the last ten years Ive gone really solitary and the friends I did have just don't seem to be around anymore. Ive never been great at getting to know people but lately I seem to have lost any shred of confidence that I might of had and Ive just gone in my self a bit. It just seems like anyone I talk to has nothing in common with me at all anymore. I know that its down to me to get out there and do things but its easier said than done.



em_tsuj
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08 Apr 2015, 9:15 pm

I suffer from depression periodically as well. It is like quicksand. All the negativity bogs you down. I hope you come out of it soon. I don't know if any magic bullet that will make it go away. Maybe talk to your therapist to learn ways to deal with it or see a psychiatrist. I find that exercise really, really improves my mood. Walking is my favorite form of exercise. However, finding the motivation to exercise when you are depressed is hard. Perhaps force yourself to just do it one day. Then it will become a habit. That is what I do. It takes a lot of misery though before I get to the point where I am willing to do anything positive for myself.



structrix
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21 Apr 2015, 8:09 am

andyfzr wrote:
I'm really struggling with depression at this time. I feel like I can't talk to anyone cos I don't know what to say. I can't go anywhere cos I'm not very good around people in general but at the same time I feel so lonely being on my own all the time. Its really frustrating because I just don't feel like I want to do anything and have no interest in anything. I want to go and socialise with people but when I'm with them I can't think of anything to say to them. I want to have some friends but I just don't know how to talk to people and make friends. I can't even think of stuff to say in forums either so I don't even have virtual friends. I just wish this feeling of hopelessness would go away and that I will feel like doing things again but I just feel like its never gonna happen. That's excluding my Aspergers so it just all seems to be getting the better of me and I don't know what to do to make myself interested in doing stuff again.


Have you seen a doctor? Are you on any medication? Do you have any self-care strategies in place (eating right, sleeping well, exercising)? I find depression on TOP of Aspergers makes things worse. You have to get some help. You can't just will your way out of this.


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andyfzr
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10 Dec 2015, 12:17 pm

Ive tried various medications which most of them have adverse effects more than anything and ive tried psychiatrist which ended up with more meds. I stopped the meds after a while as they wernt helping and also tried cognitive therapy but I just struggled to motivate myself. I think its just down to me to force myself to do things as you say but its just hard even getting out of bed. I'm starting a new job which may help but the last one didnt really help much and I ended up getting sacked for making too many mistakes. I tried to go on the sick for a while to take a break but they isited I was well enough to work and the few weeks I have been on this new universal credit has just been even more taxing. Hopefully I may settle into this new job but I just struggle to get to know people in work and soon fall out of favour. All I can do is keep trying.



Nickchick
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10 Dec 2015, 6:37 pm

I'm not really someone who desires friends but I still kinda know what you mean. I keep to myself but at the same time I miss those times when I had people I really connected with. I used to have really close internet buddies. There was one I'd talk to through all hours of the night just laughing not wanting to go to bed. Now I just procrastinate bed because I'm depressed. As I get older it's easier to get depressed so I know what you mean about age too.
It's funny in one way I love being "detached" from the world but it does get hard sometimes. For me, a lot of my depression stems from not having a job. I have tried talking to people about it but I often wonder why because in the end I still feel the same.
I think maybe if you start your new job it may get better. It's easy to get depression when you're not doing anything with your life. If it doesn't then I guess you still haven't found the right job for you but I would say just take solace in the fact that you have one and with the money you get you could maybe find a better therapist (psychiatrists only give you meds they don't do anything else. it's the only thing they're an expert in) if you're still feeling this way. I have heard they have therapists that specialize in employment..don't know if it will help you on the job but it's worth looking into. I want to get one but since I don't have a job don't have the insurance for it.



Dennis Prichard
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30 Dec 2015, 8:14 pm

Perhaps putting yourself in a position where you're helping other people can deal with your depression. I work teaching children English. Before I got this job I would have on and put periods of depression but interacting with children helping them learn in an optimal way means for the last few years depression has gone away.

Humans weren't designed for our modern life, we were designed to live in small groups out in the wilderness interacting and co-ordinating with each other. The black dog of depression is our biological system punishing us for not putting ourselves in the situation that our body was evolved for.

However some people have no real experience of depression and it would be interesting to understand what are the circumstances of their life that create that.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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12 May 2017, 10:16 pm

I'm really struggling with depression at this time. I feel like I can't talk to anyone cos I don't know what to say. I can't go anywhere cos I'm not very good around people in general but at the same time I feel so lonely being on my own all the time. Its really frustrating because I just don't feel like I want to do anything and have no interest in anything. I want to go and socialise with people but when I'm with them I can't think of anything to say to them. I want to have some friends but I just don't know how to talk to people and make friends. I can't even think of stuff to say in forums either so I don't even have virtual friends. I just wish this feeling of hopelessness would go away and that I will feel like doing things again but I just feel like its never gonna happen. That's excluding my Aspergers so it just all seems to be getting the better of me and I don't know what to do to make myself interested in doing stuff again.
_________________________________________________________________________________________

:jester:

likewise. I do not know what I want to say. and I sure do not know how they will respond to what I say or do. sometimes they respond in ways much more unfavorable than anticipated.

you could go somewhere alone. unless of course you live somewhere crowded. or you do not feel comfortable with public transportation.

for about the past 10 years, I have not had much interest in anything. :skull:

but whatever. maybe nothing is that interesting.



Alita
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18 May 2017, 5:19 am

andyfzr wrote:
I'm really struggling with depression at this time. I feel like I can't talk to anyone cos I don't know what to say. I can't go anywhere cos I'm not very good around people in general but at the same time I feel so lonely being on my own all the time. Its really frustrating because I just don't feel like I want to do anything and have no interest in anything. I want to go and socialise with people but when I'm with them I can't think of anything to say to them. I want to have some friends but I just don't know how to talk to people and make friends. I can't even think of stuff to say in forums either so I don't even have virtual friends. I just wish this feeling of hopelessness would go away and that I will feel like doing things again but I just feel like its never gonna happen. That's excluding my Aspergers so it just all seems to be getting the better of me and I don't know what to do to make myself interested in doing stuff again.


I know what you mean. If it wasn't for family phone calls, I don't think I'd socialise at all face to face, except for shopping. Have you considered exercising in the mornings? I've found that helps my confidence and verve for the rest of the day. (I find it even helps with my speech, which is amazing, as I'm a total dingbat when it comes to talking in real time).

If you found something you were excited about, similar to when you were a kid taking things apart, would that help?


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Noca
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18 May 2017, 9:32 am

^ this is a really old thread.



Alita
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19 May 2017, 12:10 am

Noca wrote:
^ this is a really old thread.


Whoops! :oops:

Thanks for pointing that out. :mrgreen:


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shortfatbalduglyman
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02 Jun 2017, 9:27 pm

I'm really struggling with depression at this time. I feel like I can't talk to anyone cos I don't know what to say. I can't go anywhere cos I'm not very good around people in general but at the same time I feel so lonely being on my own all the time. Its really frustrating because I just don't feel like I want to do anything and have no interest in anything. I want to go and socialise with people but when I'm with them I can't think of anything to say to them. I want to have some friends but I just don't know how to talk to people and make friends. I can't even think of stuff to say in forums either so I don't even have virtual friends. I just wish this feeling of hopelessness would go away and that I will feel like doing things again but I just feel like its never gonna happen. That's excluding my Aspergers so it just all seems to be getting the better of me and I don't know what to do to make myself interested in doing stuff again.
____________________________________________________________________________________

likewise. five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch. precious lil "people" usually interact with eachother with sight and hearing. they act like whenever they are around eachother, they have to constantly be talking. some of them talk about the most mundane things.

they act like one thought or emotion: one statement.

in other words, for every one thought or emotion they have, they make a statement.

and then they act like one statement: one action.

they are so annoying. irritating. aggravating. idiots have the nerve to tell me "you bit the sticker off the apple!". they comment on my posture ("all slumped over"). they comment on my appearance. they refer to themselves as "we", "people" and "most people", instead of "i". they ask personal questions about my gender identity and sexual orientation and autism. and then when i disclose psychiatric diagnoses, they have the nerve to tell me i am not autistic. or that i was "lying" when i told them i was trans.

and when i say or do the slightest thing they do not like, they have the nerve to tell me it's "disrespectful". "disrespectful" is like a trump card.

they judge, judge, judge. even "perceptions" are judgmental in that way. they did not have to make a running commentary out of everything i do, especially what i do that they do not like.

all in all, usually. quite frankly. they are not worth the energy it takes to interact with them.