A new aspergers dating site called Spectrum Singles

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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Apr 2015, 2:23 am

How about a dating site without the stupid questionnaires and the stupid matching things altogether?

Let the person's looks and basic info be the front, and people explore further thro conversation, like in real life?



Antharis
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16 Apr 2015, 2:39 am

If you're going to go down that way, why bother with a site at all ?

The whole point of online dating is to have a different game field from real life dating, I'm gathering.
And for AS this probably means the site needs to work as a crutch.



sly279
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16 Apr 2015, 2:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
How about a dating site without the stupid questionnaires and the stupid matching things altogether?

Let the person's looks and basic info be the front, and people explore further thro conversation, like in real life?


you mean like tinder, bumble, and okc/pof, quick match systems?

personally i enjoy the questions and lots of information. I need it to start conversations and it gives me a whole lot more to decide whether we would match then a picture and their age do. though I value personality and interest over looks and status, so I'm odd.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Apr 2015, 5:54 am

sly279 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
How about a dating site without the stupid questionnaires and the stupid matching things altogether?

Let the person's looks and basic info be the front, and people explore further thro conversation, like in real life?


you mean like tinder, bumble, and okc/pof, quick match systems?

personally i enjoy the questions and lots of information. I need it to start conversations and it gives me a whole lot more to decide whether we would match then a picture and their age do. though I value personality and interest over looks and status, so I'm odd.


A finely sculpted profile will not reflect true personality; direct interaction is way more genuine.



Autisto
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16 Apr 2015, 7:59 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
A finely sculpted profile will not reflect true personality; direct interaction is way more genuine.


True and that is why we are at a severe disadvantage to those with a fully functional (NT)/ heightened (Psychopath's) sense of cognitive empathy. My profiles have never been "finely sculpted", there is no filter it is just what comes out of my head.

e2a: I did not like the questionnaire at all; a lot of the questions seemed a little ambiguous, some of them could not be answered honestly (I remember one that "lumped" cognitive & affective empathy together so there was no way to answer it properly) and there were just way too many questions.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Apr 2015, 2:38 pm

Autisto wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
A finely sculpted profile will not reflect true personality; direct interaction is way more genuine.


True and that is why we are at a severe disadvantage to those with a fully functional (NT)/ heightened (Psychopath's) sense of cognitive empathy. My profiles have never been "finely sculpted", there is no filter it is just what comes out of my head.

e2a: I did not like the questionnaire at all; a lot of the questions seemed a little ambiguous, some of them could not be answered honestly (I remember one that "lumped" cognitive & affective empathy together so there was no way to answer it properly) and there were just way too many questions.


There were users here who post their profiles for advice, corrections and editing, that's sculpting too.



mpe
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16 Apr 2015, 3:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
How about a dating site without the stupid questionnaires and the stupid matching things altogether?

Probably because the right set of questions can greatly help in identifying mutual compatibility. Difficulty is that the right set of questions is not always obvious and may vary greatly depending on what kind of relationship(s) someone is looking for.

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Let the person's looks and basic info be the front, and people explore further thro conversation, like in real life?

Because this works so well for ND people...



mpe
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16 Apr 2015, 3:28 pm

sly279 wrote:
personally i enjoy the questions and lots of information. I need it to start conversations and it gives me a whole lot more to decide whether we would match then a picture and their age do. though I value personality and interest over looks and status, so I'm odd.

With specific questions being easier to search than a free form essay. (Since you can have a machine do the work.)
I agree on the picture issue. Just don't get the point of a whole gallery with an otherwise empty profile.



LuckyLilith
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17 Apr 2015, 8:46 pm

I posted earlier that we were women because I saw a previous post saying we were fake personas. It was a joke, not entirely meant to be taken seriously :P

We do agree that the website is very rough right now, as we are continuously updating and adding to it everyday.
However we have received amazing support from our community on the site and Facebook, so even if it isn't perfect right now, we are glad our members are still being positive and supporting us. :)
With the SCT, we did not pull any questions from AQ test (Frankly, I don't know what the AQ test is, but I'm assuming its a diagnostic test of some sort?) so I am having difficulty understanding the comparison, so I will have to look this up later. Also, we actually wanted to make the test even longer (it is currently 180 questions) but we figured 180 was enough. As for relationship questions, there is a lack of them due to our site not just being for relationship but for friendship.
Again, we know the test isn't perfect right out the gate, but that's why we want to continue to receive feedback so we can take notes and say "Okay, we should add this" or "This isn't working out, let's change this."
I understand because it is a forum on a website and this is the internet after all that there's always going to be the negative people, but I hope to really get feedback from people who genuinely want us to change things, not just complain and argue they can do better.

Thank to you to those who did reply with feedback and reviews :D



mpe
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17 Apr 2015, 10:09 pm

LuckyLilith wrote:
With the SCT, we did not pull any questions from AQ test

So it's just co-incidence that you have questions with identical wording.

Quote:
As for relationship questions, there is a lack of them due to our site not just being for relationship but for friendship.

If that is the context do the gender catagories make much sense?
Even people who consider 'friendship' and 'relationship' to be distinctly different things may have different (even non overlapping) criteria for who they are looking for.
In terms of so called 'matches' the vast majority arn't even in the same continent as me. With only the 'essay' section possibly saying anything useful about the person, at all. In most cases it's just a complete mystery what the supposed 'match' even is.



rdos
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18 Apr 2015, 4:40 am

mpe wrote:
Even people who consider 'friendship' and 'relationship' to be distinctly different things may have different (even non overlapping) criteria for who they are looking for.


Exactly. I even think that many neurodiverse people looking for friendships value about the same things as they would in a relationship, and often their borders between friendships and relationships are blurred. Thus, the argument that the site wants to match both for friendships and relationships has no relevance.

Besides, there are already many questions that has no relevance at all to neither friendships nor relationships.



mpe
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18 Apr 2015, 7:28 am

rdos wrote:
mpe wrote:
Even people who consider 'friendship' and 'relationship' to be distinctly different things may have different (even non overlapping) criteria for who they are looking for.


Exactly. I even think that many neurodiverse people looking for friendships value about the same things as they would in a relationship, and often their borders between friendships and relationships are blurred. Thus, the argument that the site wants to match both for friendships and relationships has no relevance.

Hence my earlier reference to "relationship anarchy" as well as such people looking for (or potentially most happy in) relationships which may not fit with society's (NT) expectations of "normal".

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Besides, there are already many questions that has no relevance at all to neither friendships nor relationships.

Together with a lack of questions which would make sense in attempting to match people up.
Which might, in practice, have to be a great many (specific) questions. Possibly on a much wider than a 4 point answer scale too.



1df5e76
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18 Apr 2015, 1:53 pm

mfs1013 wrote:
This was founded by an aspie mother and her aspie daughter

http://www.buzzfeed.com/emaoconnor/dati ... .dn9nrMj04

It probably has 5-10 members where I live. Perfect.



tagnacious
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21 Apr 2015, 6:40 pm

LuckyLilith wrote:
With the SCT, we did not pull any questions from AQ test (Frankly, I don't know what the AQ test is, but I'm assuming its a diagnostic test of some sort?) so I am having difficulty understanding the comparison, so I will have to look this up later.


This just isn't true. You've taken their exact wording. The first few pages of your quiz are lifted exactly from the AQ. Lying or being lied to? I really can't tell.



qFox
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24 Apr 2015, 6:28 pm

Autism dating websites are a pipe dream.

The gender disbalance is pretty severe.
... Even more if you consider the disbalance between single men and single women with autism.
... Even more if you consider the amount of men up for online dating and the amount of women up for online dating.

It has been tried multiple times before and sadly this is never going to work, these kind of websites end up with fifty men for every woman which just scares women away even more.



starkid
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24 Apr 2015, 6:33 pm

qFox wrote:
Autism dating websites are a pipe dream.

The gender disbalance is pretty severe.
... Even more if you consider the disbalance between single men and single women with autism.
... Even more if you consider the amount of men up for online dating and the amount of women up for online dating.

It has been tried multiple times before and sadly this is never going to work, these kind of websites end up with fifty men for every woman which just scares women away even more.

Heterocentrism. Besides that, I don't see how a sex imbalance would make the site itself "a pipe dream." Some users may not be able to get what they want out of it, but that doesn't make the whole endeavor a failure, especially since the site is also for friendship.