Break Ups
Lazar, I interpret what Rdos said as areas for personal growth. How can you learn from mistakes made, if you don't stop to think about them?
I decided to stay in a marriage for the wrong reasons. To me at the time they were good reasons to stay ...get through the difficulties we experienced together, but it was a harmful situation for my health and well being. I could, but I don't apportion blame, I made the decision to value a promise I made over my health; that was a messed up priority. I own that decision, I'm responsible for that choice, I'm not some victim. If I don't acknowledge it, and learn from it, then in all likelihood I could make that same mistake again. I'm not loosing anymore of my time to bad decisions, once was enough.
I don't feel guilt because I analyze the mistakes. I gave it my best shot and have no regrets about that, it did not work, I don't know of any other couple that experienced what we did.
I regret that I did not make better decisions, I was experiencing health issues which impacted on my perception of events, my corrective action for this is to work on my health, to invest in it and value my well being and hopefully make better decisions in the future.
Exactly. In today's crazy dating game we are supposed to date 100s of people until we happen to find a "match", and when it goes wrong we can simply ignore it all and think it was not our fault. Never mind if we hurt people, we are entitled to that.
I don't feel guilt because I analyze the mistakes. I gave it my best shot and have no regrets about that, it did not work, I don't know of any other couple that experienced what we did.
I regret that I did not make better decisions, I was experiencing health issues which impacted on my perception of events, my corrective action for this is to work on my health, to invest in it and value my well being and hopefully make better decisions in the future.
Compliments to you for that. Well done.
I wrote nothing about guilt. I wrote that you need to acknowledge that a breakup is a failure, and that you need to figure out why it went wrong. That does not mean you need to feel guilt, or that you need to get back together. It just means you need to evaluate why your relationship failed so you can do better the next time. If you think this is not necessary, then you are likely a gamer that never commits to anything, and then you shouldn't be dating anybody.
You won't be building a good self-esteem by ignoring why your relationships fail, because unless you do something about that they will continue to fail.
I don't find that "guilt" is frequently applicable when "mistakes" are made.
As long as you didn't bankrupt the guy, cause physical harm to him, or cause him to lose his job, you didn't do anything worthy of "guilt."
We all make mistakes. We have to live despite making mistakes. Mistakes, I repeat, are inevitable. One has to learn from mistakes, without having the mistakes rule one's life and threaten success in the future.
As long as you didn't bankrupt the guy, cause physical harm to him, or cause him to lose his job, you didn't do anything worthy of "guilt."
We all make mistakes. We have to live despite making mistakes. Mistakes, I repeat, are inevitable. One has to learn from mistakes, without having the mistakes rule one's life and threaten success in the future.
We're only human!.....We're SUPPOSED to make mistakes!
As long as you didn't bankrupt the guy, cause physical harm to him, or cause him to lose his job, you didn't do anything worthy of "guilt."
We all make mistakes. We have to live despite making mistakes. Mistakes, I repeat, are inevitable. One has to learn from mistakes, without having the mistakes rule one's life and threaten success in the future.
We're only human!.....We're SUPPOSED to make mistakes!
Mr Joel is right, now where is that second wind...
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