If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?

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of course though I am hit negatively by all those things. I don't fit in too well in male dominated jobs. I'm too feminine and weak in their eyes.




yes its so great and empowering having to put your emotions out there to women just so they can slam it down and reject you over and over.

that may be how they worked in the past before technology and the internet. nowadays people work too much and social bonding is so rough having to navigate through all the landmines(creepy, sexual harassment, sexist, etc) dating sites started out for inoverts but now is mostly used by the outgoing types who work too much. dating has really changed from what other people talked about. its not ok to ask a woman at your crafting club out anymore.

how is waiting around for guys to ask you out stressful?
stressful is having to deal with anxiety, to ask a girl out and after you spent so much time making it just right and emotionally putting yourself out there she rejects you for no reason and that's the end of it for her, you however have to no deal with the emotions and depression of being rejected yet again. yep that girl has it rough, to here it was a minor inconvenience that barely shows up as a blip on her life. she waits and rejects til the right guy comes along. and she gets to judge hundreds of guys and tell them they suck. now thats sounds empowering you get to judge others and make them feel like trash. so you kinda get to decide others lives. not saying you personally do but women in general.

I'd love to have hundreds of women asking me out.

being the one who has to ask out women and get rejected beats people down til they feel hopeless piece of trash that should just die. others get bitter and have resentment towards women. others still actually kill themselves, but at least their free.



pretty sure thats just a generational gap thing. men of my generation are mostly ok with it and would welcome it. they have dances in schools where only the girls can ask guys to the dance. hopefully this keeps up and generations down the line won't have to deal with this stuff anymore. none of which helps me. probably only 10% of my generation women would ask a guy out while the other 90% still follow the old ways.



wonder why i don't find somone then. o.O I assume all women hate and think me worthless as they've told me. so I don't hunt as you say women while out and about.

i avoid bars cause I don't drink , they tend to be loud, and lots of drunk people are there for some odd reason
only been to one once after work. co worker invited me and I'd never been and also didn't want to be rude. food was good and cheap but I'd rather not go again. I'd rather go to a nice restaurant hopefully one that is quieter. not that I do the single guy eating alone causes everyone to stare at him. it makes me uncomfortable being watched. nope eating out is a group or couple thing.

^^ He's making sense.

Btw Alex, androbot01 is a she, so she wouldn't relate to your post, in a bar she just needs to sit and guys will come to talk to her.
But of course, going to the bar or to any social environment alone would be considered a non-fatalistic active move by itself, so the more she meets people there higher the chances she finds someone she clicks with - so the same dice rule.

For no reason? The only reason she needs is that she's not attracted to you. This is an example of the "shopping" attitude. There is no currency of love.


It really is.



Which is why I can't go to a bar by myself. I wish I could. But men assume that women on their own in bars want to be picked up.

How is complaining that girls don't ask you out *helping*?

Why aren't you doing something, anything other than whatever it is that has resulted in you having zero dates?

How is taking all the rejection *personally* helping?

Has is occurred to you that *everybody* gets rejected?

And I'm guessing *most* of your rejection has come in the low-effort realm of online dating... where it takes a nanosecond to send a message, that you send the same message to a zillion girls and then cry woe-is-me, SO YOU CAN CRY woe-is-me when they don't respond!

Pathetically minimal effort overtures = pathetically minimal effort rejections

was responding to ann. it helps to relieve the anxiety, stress and depression.

what am i suppose to do besides resorting to kidnaping women, which is wrong and illegal. but short of forcing a woman not much I can do.

rejection is anything but not personal. its someone telling you you are a bad person to them. they judge you you not your car or work but you as a person and say nope. thats about as personal as one can get in life. not quite the same as a job not choosing you cause you lack experience but are a good person

not nearly as much though. they tend to get results too. its why others call it the numbers game. so if they get rejected 20 times and accepted 1 time they are good. all I get is hundreds and hundreds of rejections and no acception. apply that to anything in life and it'll get to people. if you failed to ride a bike 2,000 times I bet you'd just stop trying to ride a bike. theres only so much failure people can handle.

sending a Hi message might take a nano second, a proper message takes 10+ minutes per message. times hundreds and hundreds . and you have to do that cause short messages get ignored.
nope each message was unique per person. I spend time reading their profile and typing a message per each person.

you have a stick up your butt towards men. it can't possible be a generally good person who tries hard at something and fails. nope you either try hard and succeed or you didn't try and fail. why don't you stop prejudging people with no knowledge of them. its not a nice personality trait.

same as people who think poor people don't work their butts off, because they want to live in a world where hard work always pays off. reality is life is s**t and there's no logical pattern. hard work can lead to failure more often then it leads to success. you can do every step correct and right and still not get what you wanted.

I don't mind when girls reject me. I don't mind when I ask a girl out and she says no. What I do mind is that when I ask a girl out and she acts like I'm a creep for asking. Yes that actually has happened to me. It's like I'm expected to know what the answer is going to be before I ask the question. That's why I'm reluctant to ask girls out in meatspace. That's why I only ask out girls I met in meatspace after slow deliberation.

And on sites like WP and Yahoo Answers, they're like "Hey, just ask the girl out. Maybe she'll say no but it won't matter". If only that was true. If only a girl who doesn't want to date a guy could just say "No thank you" and then I could say "Fine, no problem".

But sometimes what happens is the girl acts like I'm a total creep. Maybe I come across that way because I'm not playing but the unwritten NT rules. I try to find out what the rules are but all I get is PUAs peddling their nonsense. They only want to sell books, not to inform.

Some of the nicer girls try to let me down gently but always in an indirect way. They say they're busy or something. This can be confusing because I think maybe they won't be busy next week when really they just don't want to go out with me. They think this is the kindest way they can let me down. Really, the kindest way they could let me down would be to say no but without saying I'm a creep afterwards.

Probably the reason why girls think I'm a creep is because I don't play the rules of NT-land (AKA Earth). When I'm talking to a girl I try to pick up on her signs on interest and I see false positives and miss real positives, etc. Maybe the girl thinks I'm a creep because I ask her out after she's already sent a dozen nonverbal signs of disinterest that I wasn't able to perceive.

That's why I don't ask out any girl I like in meatspace at a moments notice. Even though all these self-help sights say "If you like a girl, ask her out straight away and everything will be fine" it doesn't work that way. You can't solve all your problems through optimism and self-affirmation. You need planning and deliberation.

my husband, 64 years old, never has asked women out. his relationships, including ours, were initiated by women. when i found this out, i pointed out to him that he'd have a better chance of being with someone he preferred if he did some asking. he remained happy with his tactics.

Well, it worked for him but in my experience it's rare for girls to ask guys out after middle school.

Or maybe they just flirt with me instead literally asking me. I'm not always able to recognize that.

ugh. not how I meant it. just I don't treat other humans as objects or trash.

no one has to be nice to others either. or not kill other people or not steal for people. or treat others as a living being. most people do this cause its nice and right thing to do not cause they have to. so why is this behavior some how acceptable when it comes to females and dating?

confused why are you giving your husband dating advice to find other women?

I think you are making a false assumption here. I can think of many men I know who I think are good people, but I wouldn't date them.

I'd rather eat alone and go to the movies alone than stay at home all the time. In my old group I've ended up almost always paying and I've became a permanent designated driver. I left that group. It's better to eat alone than to pay for someone to sit at the table with me. I don't care if people stare.

Are you serious ? The main reason earlier in my life that I didn't accept women was simply because I just didn't have enough time to give them attention since I was practically working 24/7 in order to establish a financial-stability in order to never again go through what I went through back in the day. Had nothing to do with my judgement of the person.

Before I was left stranded by my own parents, and didn't have to worry about how I was going to get fed, was because it was a somewhat arrogant (perhaps arrogant not the right word to use) or perhaps naïve attitude on my part that I wanted to reserve myself for a girl who really Really REALLY wanted me & so felt they should pursue me more than anybody else would ever pursue but all that ever happened was that they eventually gave up on trying to get me for their boyfriend.

I'd rather stay at home (when at least during the times that I actually have one) instead of watching movies.

Throughout my life I've usually only associated with one buddy most of the time at a time but there were occasional times where I would visit these gatherings where there were such things as groups. Eventually we all gravitate towards where we need to be for our "(spiritual-)learning" opportunities.

There's also the issue that any actually useful advice from these kind of people is likely to be encased in sexist bovine excrement.


Sounds like a classic NT vs ND communications issue. Where an NT will see "beating around the bush" or telling a "white lie" as being the correct and polite way to do things, being direct is rude. Whereas a ND will find the former confusing or rude, but the latter far more acceptable, even 'polite'.
There also appear to be as*holes who react badly to being told directly. At least that's a common justification for not doing so. Both in 'meatspace' and online.


Possibly also you miss out on women trying to say, nonverbally, that they are interested in you. I suspect that it's this reliance on nonverbal which makes this especially hard for ND people (both men and women). Parts of 'the rules' even appear to make verbal communications taboo.

if you think they good men why wouldn't you tell them why you won't date them?
also theres two kinds of good men. moral good and dating/relationship good.

don't think we'll see eye to eye on this. I treat people like humans who have feelings and a heart. when a guy does it women say hes just only caring about her looks and body. like if a girl asked a guy out and he looked at her then just walked away. cause she don't have a hot enough body.