If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?

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sly279
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25 Apr 2015, 3:51 am

androbot01 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

rejection is anything but not personal. its someone telling you you are a bad person to them. they judge you you not your car or work but you as a person and say nope. thats about as personal as one can get in life. not quite the same as a job not choosing you cause you lack experience but are a good person

I think you are making a false assumption here. I can think of many men I know who I think are good people, but I wouldn't date them.

if you think they good men why wouldn't you tell them why you won't date them?
also theres two kinds of good men. moral good and dating/relationship good.

don't think we'll see eye to eye on this. I treat people like humans who have feelings and a heart. when a guy does it women say hes just only caring about her looks and body. like if a girl asked a guy out and he looked at her then just walked away. cause she don't have a hot enough body.

RetroGamer87
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25 Apr 2015, 4:56 am

mpe wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Maybe the girl thinks I'm a creep because I ask her out after she's already sent a dozen nonverbal signs of disinterest that I wasn't able to perceive.

Possibly also you miss out on women trying to say, nonverbally, that they are interested in you.

Of this much I am certain.

I can't know every time it happened but it's statistically likely to have happened over the the last few years. Furthermore, there times, especially when I was younger, when I only figured it out after the fact. Sometimes years after.

There were girls who tried to signify their interest in me in school. I didn't figure it out until years later. There was one girl who pursued me for years before giving up. To me, she was just a friend.

Things were simpler back at that age. Simple enough for me to figure out. I can figure it out now but when I was that age I couldn't figure it out. Just like nowadays I can't figure out women my own age. That's why it takes me years to figure it out.

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androbot01
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25 Apr 2015, 6:31 am

sly279 wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

I think you are making a false assumption here. I can think of many men I know who I think are good people, but I wouldn't date them.

if you think they good men why wouldn't you tell them why you won't date them?

Why should I? You don't get a free psychological examination every time someone rejects you.

Ban-Dodger
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25 Apr 2015, 9:03 am

I know that I didn't bothered to date, not because it was a problem with the ladies themselve, but because I wasn't ready to go about dating anybody, the timing was simply bad during those times during those parts of my earth-life.

androbot01 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

I think you are making a false assumption here. I can think of many men I know who I think are good people, but I wouldn't date them.

if you think they good men why wouldn't you tell them why you won't date them?

Why should I? You don't get a free psychological examination every time someone rejects you.

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CoffinCrawler
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25 Apr 2015, 9:42 am

I am a female and I have approached a few men and gotten rejected when I made advances. I'm not sure what it was that caused the rejection... maybe they thought I was ugly, they weren't interested in seeing anyone, they thought I had no "game" or maybe they found me intimidating for making the moves. I don't know. In any case, getting rejected does suck, but I've never gotten bitter towards men about it.

WantToHaveALife
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25 Apr 2015, 12:32 pm

CoffinCrawler wrote:

well that's because women have full-societal approval to be passive

RetroGamer87
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25 Apr 2015, 4:36 pm

CoffinCrawler wrote:

Maybe you just didn't approach the right guy.

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cathylynn
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25 Apr 2015, 4:51 pm

sly279 wrote:

cathylynn wrote:

my husband, 64 years old, never has asked women out. his relationships, including ours, were initiated by women. when i found this out, i pointed out to him that he'd have a better chance of being with someone he preferred if he did some asking. he remained happy with his tactics.

confused why are you giving your husband dating advice to find other women?

this was when we were first dating.

314pe
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25 Apr 2015, 4:59 pm

CoffinCrawler wrote:

Thanks for acting out of societal gender norms.

RetroGamer87
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25 Apr 2015, 9:33 pm

At birthday party. Pretty girl, spotted at 2 o'clock. What is the procedure to flirt with her?

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25 Apr 2015, 9:38 pm

You have a lot of different "openings" that are available (speaking in chess-move terms).

RetroGamer87 wrote:

At birthday party. Pretty girl, spotted at 2 o'clock. What is the procedure to flirt with her?

One of my personal-favourites is to just walk up and gaze into the girl's eyes whilst HAPPILY and IMMEDAITELY saying:
"Hey ! Let's have a random hug for today's « National Hug Someone at Random » day ! =D"

Most of the time I can usually get hugs out of girls I just met this way. /nod /nod

P.S.: Your arms need to be open towards her like you're ready to receive a hug from her whilst saying this of course.

rdos
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26 Apr 2015, 4:31 am

Ban-Dodger wrote:

That's just crazy, but if it works for you, fine. :wink:

Personally, I think hugs are relationship markers or friendship markers, so I wouldn't spoil a potential relationship by immediately getting her into the friend zone. In fact, I wouldn't hug anybody I had even a remote romantic interest for unless we had a relationship.

CoffinCrawler
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26 Apr 2015, 6:44 am

314pe wrote:

Thanks for acting out of societal gender norms.

I try.

Although my past rejections have made me doubt myself more.

But I'm an androgynous female. I think that confuses and intimidates a lot of guys who are so used to society's standards for women.

Diningroom
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26 Apr 2015, 9:29 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

At birthday party. Pretty girl, spotted at 2 o'clock. What is the procedure to flirt with her?

Is Birthday Party Girl sitting at a table with gaggle of friends? Liking like she's having a ball chatting and drinking with them?

Maybe she doesn't wanna talk to random strange men, period. Even if the guy is hot, even if she's single.

Failed efforts to flirt with Birthday Girl may well have everything to do with her being otherwise occupied that night & nada to do with your flirting ability.

rdos
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26 Apr 2015, 9:44 am

Diningroom wrote:

Maybe she doesn't wanna talk to random strange men, period. Even if the guy is hot, even if she's single.

Why do you think flirting means talking? Aren't you too focused on the PUA strategies you despise so much?

Diningroom
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26 Apr 2015, 9:52 am

rdos wrote:

Diningroom wrote:

Maybe she doesn't wanna talk to random strange men, period. Even if the guy is hot, even if she's single.

Why do you think flirting means talking? Aren't you too focused on the PUA strategies you despise so much?

Nope. There are times when I'm happy to chat or dance with strangers in bar, other times not so much. A birthday party where I'm happy chatting with the folks I arrived with falls into the latter category. That being said, if some guy tries & quietly accepts getting reflected, that's fine. Can't blame a polite person for trying :-)

(I'm not really up on my PUA strategies...but if it involves walking up to strangers, saying it is Hug Day and expecting a hug. Ugh. Gross. Never. I am not a tactile-with-strangers-person. Icky).

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